Frugal? You haven’t half a clue what frugal is; you got five minutes I can tell you.

he talked like he was going to jump

                                     like a suicide  convinced by his convictions

convictions can make jumpers of everyone

he wasnt a convict

so he opted to hear him out

frugality in this day and age seemed hyperbole

hed like to hear hyperbull 

                           a beast without modesty

I got the time whacha got

My brother; want him, need a brother?

No thanks got three

I got five, we could lose him, wouldn’t be missed.

Too frugal

Can squeeze a penny. 

                        He lives within his means like they were prison walls. He maintains price-points, if a store can’t hit them he does without, the way he sees it the item isn't necessary, and while he rarely wants, he’s extravagant for others.

A thoughtful guyhuh

Oh yeah, full of thoughts.

So whas the knock 

Bags. Paper bags, plastic bags, he has them in abundance, readily plies us with them.

Why does he ply us  the family Ill assume  with bags

Because we toss ours.

Recycle them

Yeah, we don't keep them around, then we turn up short when they’re needed. He pulls our butts out of the fire and forces us to listen to him harangue Waste not, want not; waste not, want not; waste not, want not. Epizeuxis, he says, to drive home his point.

Because hes frugal

Yes. Frugal. I did say plastic bags, right?

Ya did.

I went to visit him. He rented a bigger car so everyone could ride together to our nieces’ soccer games; it was a weekend tournament.

An example of his extravagance

Yes, yes. The parking lot was full so he stopped us at the gate and left the sports complex to park the car somewhere in the neighborhood. He missed the warm-ups and was almost late for the start.

The girls won their games, so they had to return for the afternoon brackets. He went to fetch the car but everyone insisted we walk together.

We got inside, started off, one of the girls pipes up What stinks!  It smelled like someone stepped in dogshit. It was awful.

Everyone who could check their shoes did; nothing.

We rolled the windows down and when we got home he checked his shoes too, everyone rechecked their shoes, no dogshit. It was strange. He left the windows down while we went inside for a light lunch and relaxation.

 

A light rain came up as we were driving back to the complex. We rolled the windows up again. No sooner had we than we could smell it again.

I was sitting directly behind him, and looking down, tucked just underneath bench, under him, I saw a large blue plastic bag, it was folded in half.

I pulled it out, unfolded it, opened it, and got blasted in the face with the stench. Someone shit in the bag. I gagged, nearly tossed my cookies What’s this? I shouted as I hurriedly closed and refolded it; everyone cracked their windows.

He caught me in the rearview, What’s what?

A blue bag.

I picked it up, tossed it in the car.

You didn’t look inside? Didn’t feel a weight?

I did not. Looked like nice big blue bag somebody carelessly left on the parkway.

Yeah, well, let’s discount they were careless.

Frugal muthafucker.

Yah thatsah   frugal 

Afternoon,  Saturday,  12  6. 21

1220,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  6. 21

 

      touchstone  a touch stone 

                                   when a touchstone is wood  a gravemarker not a gravestone

how it feels different under his fingers than stone its quiet catches at his whorls and loops gently tugging them reminding him of her brushing his hair not because he was lazythat couldnt do it himself but because he wanted her to do it for him  humoured she chastised him You’re a big boy now, you can brush your own hair. 

she wasnt well hadnt been well for what seemed to him a long time

brushing his hair was one of the few things she could do that didnt exhaust her 

it gave them time alone she talked as she brushed his hair he loved the music of her voice they didnt talk about important things they talked about how they felt about things he listened intently to her because he was very sure when she died he would forget her voice and he wanted to fill his head to bursting with her breath her words to pushback against forgetting how she said them her cadence her particular words phrases

he tried hard to memorise them so when he would say them he might see her face and hearing them maybe catching an echo of her voice  desperately knowing he wouldnt have them if she hadnt said

1722,  Twosday,  15  6. 21

1243,  Monday,  21  6. 21

Jordan Rakei - Wind Parade  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8xZB5bWTbI 

Steam Down feat. Afronaut Zu – Etcetera  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL6mMhkkyL4

 

itd been an odd couple of days

an he wasnt one accustom to being taken unawares 

                                                       he had an imagination to fathom most interactions but muthafuck back to back days found him spungroping

there were two conversations

with two women

 

 

Have you ever heard of a malignant narcissist?

Narcissistyah malignant narcissist no Sounds redundant

Ohno, not really, not within the confines of terminology, it’s a blend of disorders: narcissism, and antisocial personality.

Do tell do tell

You think I’m kidding you?

Ah ya know better than to kid me Do tell

I will, I will. 

             they were on the telephone but he could imagine her canines showing as she smiled wryly Internally they’re fragile, they’re aggressive, suspicious of those around them, they see things in black and white. A malignant narcissist has no remorse if they’ve harmed someone . . and they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want . regardless.

So in a word Republican

Let me finish, please let me finish . .

. . Yare not

No, they’re apex . . creatures . .

. . Im grateful you called them creatures sounds dangerously close to apex predators

They could be, very possibly; they feel empowered by hurting or harming others. No one is superior to them.

 

That it

Jesus, isn’t that enough?

Why arent ya letting me cut to the chaseuse shorthand Republicans

Comon, certainly not all Republicans, can’t allow you such a blanket statement.

If the shoe fits wear it Theyre pernicious theyve align themselves like goosestepping Nazis But given I might be overlybroad perhaps perhaps not  I donwanna take away any bows or curtsies they might wanna take  theyre certainly due for allowing the metastasis  Im being generous to their cause 

                                                                                   Were talking about this why

My exboyfriend.

Your exboyfriend If hes ex why is he bubbling up into our conversation

He’s bubbling up because of his mother. 

Why would an exboyfriends mother matter

A mutual friend’s father died and we ran into each other at the wake.

Ah thank you That makes sense bu . .

. . But why Im bringing her up, the malignant narcissist, is because she, after divorcing his father, probably prior too, slept around, and she didn’t do it cautiously or quietly.

She a looker

A looker. She’d tell me she was insatiable, I love cock, howbout you, honey, you suck my boy’s cock?

Jesus

Jesus? I’d suck Jesus’s cock.

                                    I’m speaking for her.

Yes  I follow

                   Audacious

Audacious, good word. You want to know what’s audacious?

Im all for new definitions interpretations

Of late she’s been going to wakes and funerals of fuckbu . .

. . Whoa Are you going to say   fuckbuddies

I’m not proud about it; but I am. What’s with men unable to keep their dicks in thei . .

. . Stop you What have you done with my friend Really  Dicks in their pants

Dicks in their pants.

Awright

You keep interrupting.

Yare talkin like someone off the street

I’m relating how she talks, I'm not pulling any punches, sparing her. She’s vulgar.

he almost said Do tell do tell

And because she’s been showing up and disrupting these ceremon . . 

. . Cant be too somber if these men were known . . you know

Their survivors have to contend with the aftermath of their relative’s indiscretions. He’s dead; the dead don’t contend.

I can see that

Yes, yes.

           So recently families are hiring bouncers for the entrances to keep her out.

 

 

You knew my husband.

I knew him before you knew himknew him in high schoolthe year out then I moved away

But you knew him.

To be accurate I knew of him On occasions we ran into each other  We were acquaintedwe didnt pal around

Oh, the way the family talked about you . . 

. . I dated his sister 

                      I was out of high school she was in that might have been memorable

It was more than that.

Wha can I say Nice to be remembered

You are memorable.

Yare kind to say 

It wasn’t an amicable parting. 

                                He walked out on me and the girls.

He walked away from his daughters 

                                       Youll excuse me I can understand it takes two to tango Spouses may not be forever  But children are blood

Since he disappeared on us, after all the shit to find him, he hasn’t seen his daughters.

Has not seen his daughters 

                                I donknow I can talk about this Im seeing red

He caught wind our eldest was going to marry. He was peeved, outraged, she didn’t ask him to walk her down the aisle. 

       He wasn’t invited. 

He threatened to come anyways. 

I have no words 

                    He didnt come

He did not, however her cousins, really big men, posted up at the entrances in case he thought to show. They agreed he wasn’t coming inside.

Bouncers at church

Yes, now that I think of it, they were bouncers. 

                                                 Ohmy, I didn’t think that at the time; I was just so grateful for my nephews and how much they love their cousins.

Bouncers. They were bouncers.

They were

What made you think of that? 

I couldnt say

1313,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  6. 21

1549,  Father’s Day – Sunday,  20  6. 21

https://www.tikvahlake.com/blog/how-to-identify-a-malignant-narcissist/

IQ EQ

EQ IQ

        nothing really more to understand about their differences  how did she say

Ahyes

           Make no mistake, it’s only a value judgment.

                                                           implying where he might decide to come down would be errant

No all his Noes droned inside his head  Can we rescind judgment an agree to evaluation  Theres more than greyscale the fine gradients you prefer to assign thingsmore to it than subtle reliefs  more to the blackest white an whitest black or if someone can distinguish the difference in the slivers that exist side by side

I cant 

      Anyet somehow you insistrather you believe not think  but believe   believe you can

 

Intelligence Quotient  Emotional Quotient

EQ IQ 

      she was hardheaded  she insisted IQ was the be-all determinant of individuals

Would you shaddup 

I’m not going to shaddup . .

. . Then Ill talk over youYou piddle on your smartphone don deny it  daily likely  it serves up IQ tests an I dare say you partake in virtually every test provided  An every test you take verifies what its algorithms have learned from you you have plainly identified tests you can no more resist than a junkie can a fix

Nice loop 

          Those tests confirm your desired reasoning quantitative reasoning knowledge of the world your visual an spatial processes  working memory  short-term memory  Frankly the tests confirm you because  you need to be confirmed 

she screwed up her face

                          I wouldn’t say I need to be confirmed; however the abilities you cited are important to me.

Yes they are  You are redundant 

                                    That said  what of recognisingidentifying peoples emotions  interacting with them you have to be able to evaluate an understand how theyre feeling too

I can.

You can if you have to if yare forced to  but you prefer keeping people at arms length  thats how you relate to them

I constantly invade your space

I make you uncomfortable

 

she didnt say 

               This is where you usually chime schadenfreude  which tends to make me think of a delectable visuallyappealing apple-cinnamon strudel

I’m aware of you.

Yare aware of me because I spur you intellectually  

                                                      An I enjoy our conversations  your necessity to scribble graphs Venn diagrams statistics  your cool logic

But ya don like it when I heat things up emotionally 

Ya know that I was raised by bitch wolves  wild strong and powerful 

Nothinghuh

It’s your show, your trying to show me up.

I am not  You have the capacitythe intellectual capacity  but you might get hurt 

                                                                                    he laughed curtly 

Wha are the odds

 

afternoon,  Reggae Friday,  11  6. 21

High Noon,  Saturday,  19  6. 21 

 

     it was like in the Rembrandts apostles religious series portraitures on black backgrounds in the subtle whorls behind the mysterious visages Rembrandt painted artefacts the individuals utilised and would identify their prowess

          this evening closing his eyes he saw in his blackness a quiet unassuming aperture a supplefluctuating spiral that turned in either direction or ceased and pulsed or spasmed oddly not one to look away or prettify things it looked like an anus  funny he thought how often others are uncomfortable with anuses some preferred sphincter which he didnt care for 

                        Picture it

   Whadaya see

wha he saw without fail was the famous Egyptian Sphinx animated fantastic  writhing thrashing clawing to keep its head above the mottled hot sand that churnedthat turned into loathsome quicksand 

he preferred anus had affection for it  no love for sphincter

 

2254,  Saturday,  19  6. 21

1219,  Sunday -- Father’s Day,  20  6. 21

 

Hey, uncle, Dad, check out this photo that popped up my phone this morning; it's pretty cool.

they were seated across and beside him he angled it so they could see it at once

it was a selfie of his nephew at a campsite a glittering lake behind him his beard must have been four inches long a Grizzly Adams shot if ever one was taken

It’s from the summer I spent in Idaho working Forest Service, flyfishing and camping weekends . .

. . When you weren’t at the bar  his father said

Actually, Dad a droll disdain registeringthough not divisive obviously a point of contention obviously a father-son son-father dig the bar was above the lake, above the river that fed the lake.

I never saw your beard that long When did you work in Idaho

Five, five six years ago . . this summer . I think.

Nice beard

Thank you.

Though you know me Im confused

I don’t know you to be confused . . 

. . You don’t know him as well as I do.

I know your Dad to often be confused but I think its the disorientationthe dark to sudden bright that coincides when he pulls his head out of his ass Ostriches aint got nothing on your old man

his nephew laughed

Yare welcome to it if ya like 

                              Notice he aint smilinhumoured He has a hard time laughing at himself

I don’t appreciate being the butt of a joke.

But you wear it so wellhowever if I may returning to the photograph and that itlemme know if Im understanding correctly the photograph self- if you will selfpopulated on your phone

Yes.

I need more than yes 

                       How does that happen

I store my pictures in the iCloud.

Ive heard of it

Your uncle wouldn’t know an iCloud from a rain cloud.

Maybe from a raincloud  but not a fogbank I-Cloud you say

I store, automatically, all my photographs in the Cloud.

So photographs can selfpopulate

A clever feature, I think, that Apple provides its users, if they wish; for me it’s a nice surprise throughout the day to be randomly reminded, see glimpses of times gone by.

You gonna tell your nephew Let bygones be bygones?

Naw thats more in line in vane with you Ya forgetI don 

                                                          he pointed to his skull  My cloud a cloud that cant be hacked cant be corrupted Any given day I see memories

You have to realize your uncle doesn’t own a camera; he doesn’t take pictures.

I do not Never much cared being behind a camera I rather think people who take pictures are doing so because they donwanna be in front of it  like your old man

That’s the second time you've called me an old man . . 

. .Incorrect Ya know better than tryin to put words in my mouth Thats the second time I said your old man as I addressed your son 

                     Unknot yer panties must be uncomfortable to sit on But back to my question the Cloud autopopulates photographs to your phone

Yes, uncle.

Thank you Does it automatically populate video

Yes.

Look . . . Mikey . he gets it!

Nice Life cereal I aint thick  though I think you might both be however more so or more likely to Tommys deficit

Mine? How so uncle?

Your old mans long in the tooth he shifted in his seat again displeased being called old an likely his endearing modesty hes a nice guy wouldnt have him taking nudes of a girlfriend or recording sex acts yaknow for shits and gigglesright

Okay. Tommy smiled a real big oneone of those Cheshire Cat shit-eatin grins Although I'm still not following you.

the old man leaned in but didnt say a word

How long has this technology been available

Nearly ten, yeah, I’d say ten years.

Wow Didnt have a clue  Youve been married five years

Almost six.

So yare home with your wife yare conversing  your phones are on the table because phonesparticular to your age group go everywhere go anywhere with you 

Yeah.

 

             Yah  An your really smartphone populates a porn snippet of an old adventurous girlfriend with your cock in her mouth 

                   I seem to recall the girls you were going out with were girls you knew in high school an correct me if Im wrong  Lisa was a year behind yatwo years Idonknow in high school  a small school

Now a really innarestin kitchen table chat will ensue  Why do you still have that picture on your phone?

 

Tommy didnt say a word 

                         If I may as Im fond of whas good for the goose is good for the gander I cant imagine youd be very happy viewing your wifes porn snippet a vigorous hand job some guy gnawin her pussy 

Porn snipsitinthebud 

Christ                                                                                                                                   

Really userfriendly                                                          

Random population

GPS 

     Devises devising Man look at us Whadaya say  Lets workup some fireworks  

Two words for you Tommy   Deep Learning  I know that much

1600ish,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  6. 21

1612,  Reggae Friday,  18  6. 21

Mikey, he likes it!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYEXzx-TINc

 

his family wasnt irreligious they lived in California grewup there  as a matter of fact there were more religions in their somewhat rural community than you could shake stick at than Doan’s had pills 

religion didnt capture their interest 

                                   if push came to shove they could admit being partial to Greek mythology Titans Gods and Goddesses Monsters Cyclops  Pegasus 

                                                he was particularly attracted that Gods and Goddesses could materialise paterialise out of the bluethe golden ether and pleasure themselves with a mortal made perfect sense itd probably get old fucking Gods and Goddesses and likelygiven their sexual appetites proclivities in a short while the maulings would be incestuous 

               not that that would bother them they had ascended incest riles only the pious the petty the mortalmade

he just began dating a girl from Iowa 

                                       a looker a real sharp cookie

then not as sharp 

                  she had a religious background or rather her mother did  her mother said grace at every meal no matter where they dined she liberally spread her religionwhatever that religion was at that time

he met her parents not Met   they ran into each other 

he had been out of town on a job for a few weeks 

her house was between where the job had been and his place he thought it might be nice to drop in unannounced 

late afternoon 

               he grabbed some thick ribeyes peppers onions mushrooms greenbeans Greek yogurt blueberries beers

he rapped at the door

Daddy answered he looked nothing like his daughter 

                                                       Can I help you? was sizing him up

No thank you  Is Elle home

Just a moment.  he closed the door behind him as he turned to walk into the house 

growing up if he answered the door hed stand there and yell so-an-so into the house  they were eleven

 

Im curious Elle

Yes.

So around Christmas time when you were a kid did you your siblingsyour parents go around the neighbourhood at night bundled up singing carols

Yes.

for some reason he couldnt explain to her later that tickled his funny bone something fiercesomething awesomebefore he could check himself his laughter eruptedtore out of him in goutsblew up out of his belly and lungs peal atop peal wave splashingslathering wave

she was not humoured

her eyes got shiny

her features hardened

wiping tears from his eyes he was somewhat shocked her attractiveness eroded

he choked out his laughter

You think singing Christmas carols is funny?

                                               hardhard voice

I hadnt thought so  but apparently

Did you, did you grow up living under a rock?

Ohfuck ohmy hedidntthinkhepossiblyhadanylaughterleft evidently his well was deeper than he knew Thatsah reallyah  very funny Elle

               he erupted again into spastic bellylaughter

he had to admit when he gathered himselfwhen he wiped tears from his eyes he was somewhat surprised she hadnt left

1600ish,  Day-between-Two- Ts,  9  6. 21

1141,  Reggae Friday,  18  6. 21

Nubya Garcia  Source  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL4Ae5ORq24

 

What the hell? You said bedtime. You said, “Alright, time for bed, you coming, time for bed.”

You woke me up to tell me it was time for bed.

I was sleeping.

Alright. That’s okay, you feed me, I bought in.  It’s time for bed.

While you did your toiletry I stretched, can’t jump off the rocker cold onto the floor.

Come on, you said, as you made your way up the hall, turning lights off behind you.

Usually I like to play the game with you getting up onto the bed before you get your ass in it, but I was chasing bunnies when you woke me and I actually caught one, I had to decide what to do with it, never caught one before; that’s when you woke me. Trust me, I’ll return the favour, just when you catch whatever it is you were chasing.

You’re in bed, under a cool sheet and, wait, gimme a moment, you wouldn’t shut up about it, got so I memorised it, wait, yes, I just woke up, yes: robinegg blue, cotton herringbone twill thermal blanket.

So you beat me to bed. Your legs are spread. I’ll sleep between them.  Aaaah.

The bed’s so much softer than the hardwood rocker; why didn’t I fall asleep here? Oh yeah! You were watching a film. I wanted to be near you.

Aah, this is nice.

 

I wonder if I’ll catch that bunny again. Maybe I’ll get a salmon like a bear. The water rushing madly between rocks, boulders, against my rump, salmon leaping upstream, white water . . .                                                                                                 

                                    What the hell?

What the hell’s that?

she cracked her eye open 

                          just in time to see that goofy JESUSGOD! Aww’m cumming! face

 

You really had to disturb my sleep to say you’re going to bed when you should have said  I’m going to bed now to masturbate.

You really should have been explicit.

Going to sleep and going to masturbate are two different things, aren’t they?

 

I’m outa here.

 

Fucking inconsiderate human.

I’m pissing in a corner; lotsa luck with that.

                                                  What horseshit.                                                  

2226,  Twosday,  15  6. 21

1151,  Day-between-Two-Legs,  16  6. 21

Fela Kuti  Why Black Men Dey Suffer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvmKcB-nziE

It was hard to remember what to forget.

 

hed been looking at that statement on an off for a few days since reading it 

he took it somewhat as a challenge

he didnt know where to start

to remember

or to forget 

maybe he thought it was particularly difficult for him because he had a long memory  he often called his parents to ask them if he remembered correctly or had he read it somewhere dreamed it or fabricated it  lied and fixed it as a memory

he spooked his old man 

                        Why would you remember that, you were two, not even three. Talk to your mother.

his mother did as mothers do  tied it up in a pretty bow 

                                                           You remembered it exactly right, as you unerringly do. I suggest you quit doubting yourself. Your mind's like a bear trap; you have an elephant’s memory.

 

 

 

It was hard to remember what to forget.

Reggae Friday afternoon,  11  6. 21

 

no shrinking black female violet Mr Putin

                                             Rachel Scott

https://www.cnn.com/videos/media/2021/06/16/vladimir-putin-press-conference-questioning-sot-vpx.cnn

2259,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  6. 21

 

the elected House Republicans who are willing to lie about American history

they would rather have not said

                                    

but the cats are out of the bag 

wish we hadnt done that 

                           would rather have cinched it tight tossed the canvas sack in the river and drowned them

Andy Biggs  AZ

Mo Brooks  AL

Andrew Clyde  GA

Scott Des Jarlais  TN

Paulie Gosar  AZ

Ronny Jackson  TX

Doug La Malfas  CA

Thomas Massie  KY

Tom McClintock  CA

Ralph Norman  SC

Mike Rogers  AL

Matt Rosendale  MT

Chip Roy  TX

Tom Tiffany  WI 

                   gulb gulb   gulb  donsweat the bubbles will subside in a moment

2019,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  6. 21

https://thehill.com/homenews/house/558867-14-republicans-vote-against-making-juneteenth-a-federal-holiday 

Don McLean  American Pie  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX_TFkut1PM