1.1.17





9 for 9
       100 percent over 11 weeks   those were the statisTics of their failed dates their sudden fastings the misfortune forced on their relationship which twisted turned and skated on the very thin surface of her frolic in the dark malaise of the relationship she contended with with her mother

she was living with her because her mother couldnt live by herself(which he saw quite differently)  


during these 11 weeks she and her mother had visited the ER 5 times apiece 
                                                             and during this stretch he also was finally emerging from a bout with an undefined auto-immune condition that he vied against holistically rather than submit to his rheumatologists recommendation a prescription of cancer drugs to suppress pain

he had been an athlete

learning to tolerate pain was intrinsic
                            so with 2001 Space Odyssey monkey instincts and tool-making he was able to fashion work-arounds to hold things open jars and cans and handle pots and pans that allowed him to feed and manage his needs

amid this saga(or beguiling travesty) his family  at remove and elsewhere across the country  took offense(as families and cults usually do) that she wasnt with him tending and caring for him

they furthur mistook his reasoning and words(again) that he was defending her she didnt need to be defended she was doing exactly what she needed for herself

The last fucking thing I need he said is to be tended or mothered I got my hands at my pains throat  Im exactly where I want and need to be


his family his parents siblings and daughters did not agree


they gave him short shrift


they tried to annihilate his decisions tried to second guess him rather than simply listening to him to his explanation which he felt was precise and clearcut


he told them he appreciated their concern but beyond it they had to recognise that as a mature man the eldest a father
he did not neglect them fail to care and provide for them  therefore they should respect his the decisions

why would he now make deleterious decisions for himself

Trust is implicit  Works both ways

When youve made decisions I may have asked your reasoning your thought-process  but I never tried to change your minds or rework your decisions  I trusted your abilities to do for yourself

Why dont you trust me


he told them they unfortunately had their backs to his movie screen  I cant turn you around to see the cigarette burns flickering briefly in the upper righthand corner  cues to help you recognise or portend dramatic moments youre missing or that a reel needs to be changed to keep and sustain my movie my continuity  Not yours   You do not attack yours

Ive heard all this before  Youre beatin an old mule playing a broken record  Ive put on a new one

You aint listening          




his and hers their current 9 for 9 paled literally in comparison with the uncounted unknowable untoward numbers he had put up with with his family

they were a slew  and whatever number a slew was  sufficed




1757,  Munday,  26  12. 16
1236,  Toosmunday,  27  12. 16

The Heavy  How Do You Like Me Now  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVzvRsl4rEM