. . . sonofagun

                     just occurred to him

inside of a week America will become one of the worlds shithole countries

1615,  Wednesday,  15  1. 25

incredulous Again.

                     What did he text?

Something huh?

Would you read it to me again . . . I couldn’t have possibly heard you right.

Ohno, you heard me right.

                             He wrote  Aside from a fuck and murder dream, not to say that babies don’t have them, they’re not tabulae rasae, empty slates, I slept like a baby.

A fuck and murder dream? Sounds nightmarish.

A dream.

What do you mean dream?

He only dreams.

                   Can’t say I’ve ever heard him apply nightmare to any dreams he’s ever had. And he’s had doozies when I’ve pressed him to say what.

He’s given me nightmares.

                                  Only dreams.

Ask him.

About the fuck and murder dream?

Yeah.

         Ask him.

He’ll not text it.

Why?

Because he prefers to share details . exquisitely . during conversation or on a phone call and I really don’t feel like listening to them. You miss me saying he’s given me nightmares?

Have him call me. I wanna know.

                                     Or would that be too much an imposition?

You know, according to him, it never hurts to ask.

Ask. Text him my number.

Awright.

    There you go.

 

Oh shit!

What?

He’d be happy to share just not right now, he’s busy.  A little later.

 

 

his phone rang

                  Clara. Hello. What’s up?

Jesus. Just off the phone with Joe.

He called?

He said he would OhmyGod OhmyGod Ohmy God.

You going to say?

Yeah.  I’ll give you the CliffNotes, ya sittin’ down?

Sitting down? Really?

Ohshit really yeah.

Lemme sit down.

                   There.

Sex. Murder.

             Allison.  He learned her name from the dream while admitting she was a complete stranger to him, you remember names of strangers in your dreams?

No.

Me neither, her name’s Allison. He said she was an abundant honeyblonde and he isn’t usually attracted to blondes.

No he’s not.

Allison has a pistol, revolver, a long barreled one.

                                                     When they go to bed she insists he usesfucks her with the loaded gun his finger on the trigger.

What?

Fuckedup, yeah?

                  While she fingers herself he makes her fellated it and when she’s all wet he fucks her with it fucks her ass then tosses it beside her head when he digs in on her since she’s cum numerous times an crazyfucking sensitive.

Jesu . .

. . Wait! Wait.

                They’re in a motel. The door gets kicked open head of the bed on the wall beside it her exboyfriend comes raging in while theyre fucking . . . Allison’s on her back snatches up the revolver and as her ex leans down to grab her she jams it in his gullet fires blows his head off bone shards brain shower of blood drops the gun body topples away from the bed.  They keep fucking.

                                        Nightmare right?

Eventually police catch her.

She confesses.

Forensic confirms her story.

They have conjugal visits raucous fucking she grips prison bars as he takes her from behind.

   The description of her ex’s head blowing up was over the top graphic pulled no punches.

                                                                                                    Jesus.

You okay?

You didn’t sa . .

. . I said he said he slept like a baby . . . aside from a fuck murder dream.

7AMish,  Wednesday,  15  1. 25

1217,  Wednesday

she said What do you mean he can’t meet us for breakfast?

he said I told you I didn’t want to extend the invitation, he’d turn me down, us down.

Breakfast is on us.

It doesn’t matter.

Since when does free eats not matter?

He’s busy. He’s busy every day until sometime in the afternoon, sometimes until, though not very often, early evening. Busy.

He has to eat.

He has dinner. He likes to prepare his own food.

Makes no sense.

That it makes sense to him is all that matters, how does he say it? It’s not agenda, no. Hell. Can’t think right now.

He’s selfish.

I don’t like defending him but let me say this because I can hear him in my head; he’d say we’re all selfish. And that would be true.

                You’re upset he's refusing to meet us but that’s because you'd like him to eat with us and he’s rejecting us, you don't like to be rejected, denied.

                                            Selfish.

But not selfish of you?

No.

     You asked me to ask him despite me telling you he’d say no.

   What is he doing?

He’s writing.

Every day?

Every day.

Some type of vanity project?

he laughed

             He’s the least vain person I know, no, he draws no attention to himself. He does it for himself.

He’s ridiculous.

I agree.

         But we’ll not influence him one iota.

He only does what he wants to do.

And I mean only.

                  So yeah.   Selfish.                                 

1052,  Monday,  13  1. 25

1052,  Wednesday,  15  1. 25

our children they the worlds collective children raised at a deficit

                                                                   or

deficient kids  not by their doing

                                    but

by doing of their world parents if they dont push back hard

of schooling

of society

           which appears intent on raising gaggles of uninspired uninterested dullards

now that said

               it could simply be the ruling classes want to be servedserviced by peasants peons serfs like Once upon a historical time explicitly before Gutenbergs printing press 1455 he printed the Gutenberg Bible explicitly before the masses learned to read and write

his generation valued valued by their parents was educated by the Three R’s reading ‘riting ‘rithmetic

                                                                                                           now

audiobooks  Why learn to read if youre read to?

keyboarding Why pickup a pencil pen? when a struggle to print or write cursive longhand  suffer inferior vocabularies suffer the ability to sound out words lack phonetics overall reinforced by social media shorthand

                                                                                                        Ye for yes

LOL

      acrimonious acronyms  emojis  simpleminded hints simple pictorial attempts to express their emotions because they havent the words to express themselves

Why sweat arithmetic? have calculators abstraction is confusing  who wants to be confused

                                                                                                  growingup he did

Why this harangue?

talking with a friend he learned that her grandchild was attending an afterschool  extracurricular curriculum again 

Cursive Club

                learning to write cursive

not calligraphy

simple cursive

not in school

   blew his mind

1550,  Monday,  13  1. 25

1000,  Wednesday,  15  1. 25