He walked in through the front
door
as he had a hundred times
before and a hundred times before that an a hundred times
before that
he snugged the door shut behind
him
his mother stood in the kitchen
at the end of the long hall
watching
him
he waved
waved his fingers as if his hand were a spider scaling a wall or if playing a piano
-- There you are
Would you like a beer
-- No thanks mom
Stop right
there
No beer
-- No thanks . . .
he wasnt sure hed trust a guy
who turned down a beer
I mean I can see the hesitation
accepting a beer in the morning
but
not if my mother offered itDone
if she didnt recognize the time of day that certainly wasnt on me
Im Y E
S Please
No I wouldnt push it ask for a shot
though I might with the second beer
as he had a hundred times before and a hundred times before
that an a hundred times
before that
like coming through the front
door
but this time was unlike any
other time before
before
and after
after wasnt drastically
different the coat rack and mirror in
the hall on the wall across
from the cut-off door leading to the basement duck
your head or crack your skull the
formal
dining table beyond it in the formal diningroom who the fuck has formal
diningrooms any more with built-in hardwood buffets and china cabinets and
startling
candelabras
and the
kitchen beyond
that was exactly like before
they were exactly like before
and he was jealous of them their
inanimateness
their not knowing what was different
from
before
be-fore
there wasnt a second before the
last second that was exactly like the second before
it
he could process that
rationalise-reason it
it wasnt hard
he understood
he just
didnt want to
and the beer in the morning was
good and the beer after with a shot was good and the
third beer and the second
shot
were good
not better
-- Im going for a walk
-- Could you use the back door please Id rather
no one saw we were home
-- Sure
and as he was stepping out the
door onto the back porch to snug it behind him he looked
up and saw her
standing in the kitchen
watching
him
he waved
waved his fingers as if his hand were a spider scaling a wall or if playing a piano
an adagio
0001, Twosday,
21 10. 14
