March 19 was never a memorable
date when he was young
he
passed it on the way to his kid brothers birthday when for 10 days they were the
same age
perhaps that was a thing of
the pasthis generation maybe except in
Third World countries today(maybe America then was a gussied up tidier Third
World country) so perhaps they were the
last generation when women got knocked up and birthed again inside a year it wasnt good for women to bear children year
in and out not hygienically for them
or mentally(yes boys go beat your meat in another room awhile longer you didnt suffer an episiotomy you didnt suffer a Caesarian your perineum wasnt ripped or cut your body didnt shapeshift for a better part of a year to adapt to be inhabited by another body and souland No! you didnt provide the matter of soul within your semen)
or mentally(yes boys go beat your meat in another room awhile longer you didnt suffer an episiotomy you didnt suffer a Caesarian your perineum wasnt ripped or cut your body didnt shapeshift for a better part of a year to adapt to be inhabited by another body and souland No! you didnt provide the matter of soul within your semen)
it didnt occurred to him that a
woman wasnt more beautiful her body more transcendent a fantastic flower then while
she was expecting if put to a test hed confess
his belief were idle words purely commonsensical although he was pained to understand that
some men didnt believe as he even husbands Dumb
oxen he opined they werent appreciative he wasnt making believe and for favoring pregnant women three
times he was implored to satisfied them professional women whose husbands found their bodies hideous and feared sex
would damage the developing fetus
they didnt have to ask twice
he would admit that their private
corner offices aided his decision where
they could be discreet and their discretion was hushed(though they werent quiet) and maintained
March 19 now made him catch his
breath made his eyes murky wetted with
memory too many memories to hold inside them
they leaked onto his cheeks and
made thin quicksilver runlets which fell shining onto his chest
not tears
not
really(though many thought they were and
if they were hed unashamedly spill them)
they
were too many wonderful memories running past his eyes reeling pushing forward
shoving those ahead from behind because they were at once jealous and anxious
to be seen so so many happy children so wonderfully
raucous crying Look at me! Look at me!No
you should look at me!
and what he saw he
remembered vividly he saw their fantastic
towering maypole gaily twisting around and around occasionally
a dark child spotted in the melee
pensive morbid they glowered but they were few they were right to have their memory seen but they were always overcome overrun by their
happier laughing consorts
he couldnt say as much for his
children
they didnt know their mother as he
did or as long as he had since she was
18 and a tough resilient passionate 18
year old as crazy as 18 is crazy a beautiful frank Lucifer an explosive match that
when irritated erupted into flame
his children knew her when she
was more subdued
and then when her darkness
overtook her
and her physicians peering into
her black well saw only their reflections returned to them feeble confirmation of what was destroying
her taking her apart piece by piece
she would railsay awful
insensitive things but when the madness
passed and she worked her words to
herself over and over and over again she
wept and begged forgiveness
she did not mean her
ugliness her harmful words
but to children young women
her lacerations rose welt and caused scars and they could only tolerate so much and they became distant in order to retain
their sanity and selves
he could find not fault in their actions
they were trying to survive
they were young
they welcomed their quiet distant
defence
March 19
he remembers the gaiety and
colours the fun and surprises the warming wines the glittering waving candles
atop the fresh strawberry whipped cream cakes
Sunday, March 19, 2017
1555, Twosday,
21 3. 17
1401 days remain or
fewer
