4.7.20

Independence





when he first saw Aerosmithhadnt heard of them they were fronting for Blue Oyster Cult at the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago

support for Americas involvement in Nam was waning the war had caused terrific social unrest and upheaval he told his parents on the date indicated by the Draft Boards postcard he was going downtown but he wasnt stepping forwardhe wasnt going to serve they they never said how when he asked they pulled some kind of strings and enrolled him at the University of Illinois Chicago Circle Campus
                                                          after dinner one evening after he did up the dishes pots and pans and silverware they joined him in the kitchen sat at the table and said they needed to talk

they hadnt sat together at the kitchen table the three of them alone since they tagteamed him when he was in the Fifth grade the final week of three weeks to discuss the birds and the bees

innarestin
           he was curious

his father told him it wasnt a discussionhis mother fervently a stiff upper lip grimly agreed

his father excused himselfstepped out of the kitchen for a moment and returned with an arm full of textbooks atop the textbooks was a carbon copied class schedule

Son. You’re going to college. We’ve managed your draft deferment. You are our eldest and you’ve always lead by example. Your brothers and sisters look up to you. You’re going to college; not Canada, or jail.

he was aghast

they left the kitchen before he could pick his jaw up off the floor




from where they sat that night at the Aragon in folding chairs within a coin flip of Steven Tyler  Jane  his buddys date leaned overmessed inside her big purse at her feet and while still forward deftly shackled his left ankle to her right  there was about two feet of chain between the bracelets
                                                           which provided him just enough roomperspective to watch her writhe to the musicwatch sweat sheen on her breasts her blouse undone four button and them threatening to jump out their cups

he cajoled her best he could

they shared grinding hugs


he had said buddy


that was inappropriate

more an acquaintance

Hey man she cuffed me Those are her bracelets

Janes date took his date and they stormed out of the concert

Jane put her hand to her mouth Oops seductively

they were stoned

they were obviously delighted

they were going to have to stay in the city  get a room

Buddy drove



Jane tugged his cock and kissed him while they waited at the counter for the midnight desk clerk to wind his way from some impossibly deep dank labyrinth hidden behind the ornate pebbledglass OFFICE door
                                                                                                then with key in hand
You need any help with your luggage? the decrepit mildewed old man asked No luggage sir You can get the room at an hourly rate!  No thanks I expect Ill be at her for hours You sweet talker Jane said
                                                                                       with key in hand they ran noisily up the tired threadbare runner that scarcely concealed the wood stairs beneath it up to the fourth floor left into the hall slipped in the key and went through the door he hung the DO NOT DISTURB sign from the doorknob

in the entryway trying to yank off each others clothesthey never did they tumbled and fucked on the floor
                                                                                                              finished there he picked her uptrailing clothes that made them look like a tryst between the Mummy and the Creature from the Black Lagoon he carried her into the bathroom for a shower

he lathered hershe lathered him  erotically

they rinsedthey didnt dry

they quickfooted it to bed stripped the chenille he pushed her crosswise onto it leapt on top of her gnawed her big tits slipped down to suck her pussy
                               she was ticklish she barkedshe YEOWed she yanked herself out from under his mouth and when he got to his knees facing her she pulled him by his shoulders onto his side then over onto his back and straddledcrawled over him into a lusty 69


he flopped her off of him before he came
                                           he pinched her nipples OUCH!baby Holdem for me then fucked her tits   a rocket of jism struck her chinlaces lapped over into her mouth on her cheeks nose one lace crossed a closed eye she laughed gaily Ya tryin to blind me? he kissed herhe smeared with her 
they made out



Break he asked

Jane agreed

they cuddled facing each other


We’ve known each other awhile, why haven’t you asked me out? she asked

he smiled lasciviouslywolfishly  Because you expected me to  Ill speak for me some things are worth the waitthe anticipation   Im over the moon right now

Jane had classic bedroom eyes

she knew it

she also had a pout that cried Come hither, fuck me!

she knew that too

she tried anyways

Really Ya really wanna use your pout on me now You expected me to ask you eventuallyyah

Yes.

I didnt expect this

It was time enough for me; sometimes a girl just has to take things in her hands.

I think youve always taken things into your hands

she smiled lasciviouslywolfishly  I have.

Your confession is very sexy

Ohshaddup, ravish mebut first . . 

Yes

I’m very happy your parents kept you in the city for school. I wouldn’t have wanted to see you in prison.

Jane I wouldnt have been in prison I cherish my independence too much

she gave him a smile a little girl might if you said youd give her some candy Ravish me she whispered

0834,  Thursday,  30  1. 20
1444, Saturday – 4th of July,  2020
Beatles  I Saw Her Standing There  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxwAB3SECtc


I’ll apologise if it’s necessaryif you like. I went into your studio and saw your writing beside the typewriterit’s an old type . . 
. . Yes  My mother bought it for five dollars at the liquor store where she worked from a drunk who needed a drink


My, that’s interesting.

A boon In the right place at the right time one could suppose

Yes.  But what I mean to say, I saw your writing and I was curious. I only looked at the top pageI didn’t mean to . . snoop . or anything . . bad.

You didn’t have to sa . . 
. . No. I did.  It’s, rather, none of my business, is it?

In a couple of days likely I would have shared it with you

Yes, yes, I thought that too. But what you share is after you’ve, what? reimagined it,  rewrote, edited . . . I was curious to see it in its raw form. You rarely share the raw form with me; seeds, as they are.

Ah  I didnt thinkwouldnt have thought you were interested  You neednt apologise 


Thank you.  I didn’t mean to intrude.

You didnt

she fumbled with the buttons on her blouse  it was childlike  very attractive
                                                                                 May I ask you something?
Always

The piece you shared with me last night; it was from that page?

Yes

The piece was nearly, what? sixseven hundred words?

Youre getting good  Yes  Just over seven hundred

On the page I looked at, there were only three words.

Yes

They disturbed me.

The piece didnt disturb you

No.  But the three words, timed, dated, underlined . . did.

The words were a trigger I wasnt going to forget


Hands don’t shrink.

Yes


It is an uncomfortable observation.

Its an observation

An observation . . like your dreams?you don’t have nightmares . . . you  have  dreams.

Perhaps  I havent given it any thoug . .
. . You could now, couldn’t you, talk to me about it.

Yes if you like

Please.


I thinkmy thought why violate something why create  unnecessary violenceits the same if you would when I refer to a personuse their name however avoid their sex if they are male female becausenow  their sex could be a step to stereotypeclassify them

Obviously their name will do that too or might Pat he laughed
                                                                  So I prefer to eliminate that   prejudice


Pain.

Yes

You also don’t talk of pain.

No

You use the word discomfort.

Yes

Why? If you’re in pain why woul . .
. . Why would I allow it to infiltrate me abuse me  I keep it away at least at arms leng . . 
. . As you often do with people.

Yes

A defense mechanism?

No

You wouldn’t describe it as a defensive mechanism?

No

Then what?


I dont care  That may sound cold

It is cold, and I find it difficult to believe . because . . you care about me.

I do  Perhaps you dont recall when we met the second time

I remember. We didn’t think much of each other the first time

We did not  We agreed

I don’t following.

When we met the second timeyoull recall  I didnt speak with you you were there with a friend 

I recall. Yes.  I didn’t think you liked me.

A cold fishwouldnt you say

Yes.

I was observing you I was wondering if I would be wasting my time I wanted to learn if I could care If you hadnt piqued mebeing who you wereme overhearing you
I was making a choice

And if I hadn’t liked you?

That would have been your choice

And that wouldn't have hurt you?

No I didnt know you well enough for you to hurt me





Hands dont shrink
                     when were beat downusurped by terminal illness and we fight we lose weight we shrink our muscles our bodies eat  our bones stick out our faces grow gaunt 

our hands dont shrink



he worked his daughters handsmassaging them her arms tried to quell their swellings every night
                                                                                                         every night he held her hands in his for hours 


they couldnt talk


her illness stole her voice many many months prior
                                                    she spoke with her eyesthey had long conversations without speaking a word



her hands didnt shrink

1256,  Twosday,  28  1. 20
1516,  Reggae Friday,  3  7. 20

Jewel  Who Will Save Your Soul  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax56Bg17ezo

4th of July


Frederick Douglass’ 4th of July speech  1852