he walked over to his barrister bookcasethought
he might like to read read noir hardboiled maybe Chandler Hammett McCoy Hughes Cain MacDonald several books by each were bookended by
Hemingway and Faulkner Miller and Nin to the right of Faulkner
read
of private dicks gangsters and cops OhMy! soldiers dames socio-psycho-paths Uh OhMy!
The
Wizard of Oz was always traipsing about his mind those who rose up against the fray unblinking
strident coldblooded what warmth they
had might be the burn of ice as it numbed pain that warmth only after ice dulled it dumbed it into
submission or when blood finally coagulatedclotting under fierce pressure
Nah his eyes narrowed they burned
he only thought he wanted to read to take himself offpoint
he fingered the glasses in his
breast pocket
their weight affected him
their pull gravity
their tilt lean he could feel them at his shoulder at the seams of his shirt feel their minor mild irritation
they were new glasses
new
things irritated him
though he knewrealised he had to accommodate
them
put up with them
that irritation was the same as
when it came to the weight of cuffs at his wrists buttons at his throat jewelry
chains a wristwatch
they chaffed him
he was probably the most
unadorned man someone would meet
buttonflies to zippers pullovers to bonebuttoned shirts baggy pants that caught at his hips rather
than belted
the only embraces he could tolerate
were lovers great friends family
outside that realm things were
impediments
often others had
to learn the hard way
his way had been the hard way
he made it this far
so he had little or no sympathy
his compassion was hard won
but once won hed give his arm
his devotion and loyalty were nickel-encased fortified
hardened he could be an ugly bitched prick
if it served his purpose
he didnt dance
1423, Twosday, 20 8.
19
1341, Friday,
23 8. 19
