he was concerned he was going to be a shitty parent a shitty father for not taking care of what he should

it woke him in the middle of the night sat heavy on his chest didnt let him fall back to sleep for hours

                                                                                                           it whispered in his ears  stereo  he wanted to tell it to walk awayleave him be until it could play in quadraphonic

                                                                                                        which only pissed it off  it gained weight and turned up the volume

                                                 thats a torture technique Cheney approved while Bush was asleep at the wheel  madcap John Choon Yoo Korean-born American legal scholarHUH provided the (il)legal rationale to torture detainees 

         mindya detainees  unproven  many men held on hearsay many disappeared for bounties paid  RFJ  Rewards for Justice program so very Americanhuh  amounts paid were commiserate to the value of the subject

it wasnt chump change

it whispered louder One morning you don’t wake up, one night you don’t go to sleep; you’ve left your mess for your daughter to clean up . .

motherfucker     

0516,  Saturday,  7  11. 20

1247,  Sunnyday,  15  11. 20

Wellfuck he may have arrived 

                                 hed blogged seven years  little recognition  didnt matter  he wasnt writing for recognition 

if someone noticed  Kool

going through analytics attached to his site it seemed he landed

                                                                   3 of his top 10 Referring URLs whasa URLhe didnt want to know were porn sites

seemed he landed on the moon anwha he groped wasnt green cheese

Ye fetch circumquaquesto make me beleeve, Or thinke, that the moone is made of greene cheese The Proverbs of John Heywood 1546 

                 say All fingers and thumbs  which Johnnieboy wrote then Eche fynger is a thumbe  it reminded him of grade school classmates who couldnt manage the wit to compete in random spelling bees  bene   spelling well

All fingers and thumbs reminded him of thickfingered fatfingered work  trades  vocations

he didnt know where those school days witless had landed 

                                                               he graduated at 17  summer school classes put him over then he bookedleft Chicago in his rearview mirror  

he visited to his family on occasions

if he didnt he wouldnt have seen them

they didnt visit

perhaps it was the tax he had to pay because lock stock and barrel they remained

he emaled his siblings the porn sites where his writing appeared

a tax he assessed them because they remained

they didnt appreciate it

                          algorithms on their computers harrassed – spelled correctly – them advertising fetishes and dildos and dominatrix sites

those ads muddied their waters unlike he ever could 

Aah  he put the technology that they adored and offended him to work to his benefit

the teeter totter beneath them gained more of an equilibrium

                                                                a teeter taunter  HA

0025,  Sunnyday,  15  11. 20

1333,  Sunnyday,  15  11. 20