he woke

no curtains or blinds in the bedroom window

outdoors  a dulllead colouring    marine layer

Hmmgot up  made the bed slipped on a pair of shorts went up the hall into the kitchen started water ground coffeebeans shook them into a French Press went into the livingroom out the front door into the mornings heavy moist embrace   a cloak

                                                    it was brisk

                                               chill made him smile

                                               smile made him think

went back inside into the kitchen killed the iceblue flame under the water

returned to the bedroom

unearthed unboxed an eight millimeter projector

sat it on the bed

plugged it into a wall outlet

pluckedup one of several metal film cannisters that were couched with the projector

threaded the film into the machine

fired it up till there was lengthenough to tuck to do a few laps round the receiving reel

                                                   unplugged it

                                            took it onto the front porch

ran an extension cord to it

                                                   switched On

watched the flickering blackanwhite film  smut  on the fogs moltingraymovin face

                                         a naked homelylookin woman

laying on her back in long grass under a horse

masturbating him with her feet

                                                      until

the stud camebolts of cum washing up like surf between horns of her hips across her belly leaking between her flaccid tits

                                                a motion picture

                                   moving on a motioning hue of marine layer

                                                                                                                              AMERICA

                                       Youve got talent  

0847,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

1454,  Saturday

texted a buddy  :  :  unusual overcast morning – I like it

Fall’s in the air

G’morning

    then again  :  :  ugly  all-time number 1658585

buddy replied  :  :  Only a couple verticals lemniscates save it somewhat

Chill in d air is correct

  :  :  jah  the 3 sharp 5s (like 4s) punctuate it

8s and 6 help but not much

overall   ugly

 

would you pick her up at a bar? (the number is now a woman)

  :  :  Bet your father would say “she’s quite a number” a few times

  :  :  hahaha  excellent reply

You’re really awake this morning  Clever doesn’t usually surface till later in the afternoon  if then

  :  :  Moving about… circulating the blood… metabolizing…

ENtRoPy is inevitable… it’s what we do Yo

  :  :  yes

               although you did not answer my question about picking her up at a bar

BOO 

sun is bleaching through whitewashing the sky

  :  :  No… too severe, serious for me… reeks of high mainntenance

  :  :  thank you

you have a nose for high maintenance and tennis (alluding to a woman buddy recently met)

  :  :  True… but I couldn’t get a rise outta her

Wasn’t pivotal

  :  :  pivotal is better than what (lemme remember) you initially called the year

I like pivotal a lot

 

remembered

               for the New Year buddy declared  This will be a year of transition.

to this date he had two cats three relatives transition

                                                  Die

told buddy this coming New Years to keep his pronouncement to himself

                                                                                      I donwanna hear shit out of your mouth

    buddy only lost a lousyhe didnt think she wasgirlfriend

0918,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

Using my daughters linewhich appalls me  It is wha it is

                                                               Im givinem a little taste of wha it will be like

Be like?  her brow puzzling

Jah

        When the time comes tha my father diesFuck wha am I talkin about  He may outlast me

Hes already lostoutlived  outlived three children

Your be like means what?

My absence

 

Absence?

His birthday party is being held today

                                             Im not there

When hes died after attending his memorial   whawoud draw me back again

                                                                                      I go there to see him

Your family.

Not a strong draw

    Because . . . you left home so many years agobeen gone so many years?

 

Jah

        I left because I spent my youth living where I hadnt the means to escape

Then left when I did

    Escape?

Jah

Do you really mean . . . escape?

This is where you were raised

Yes.

You have family all around you

Yes.

Escape sounds harsh

Yes.

    Awright

Now imagine if here is where  you did not want to be

                                                                Is leaving it  accurate

I imagine you cant imagine

                                   Because youre happyhave been  happy here

Yes.

Im happy Im here  not there

                               Took me leaving homeas yasay at twenty  twenty years to get here

Odysseus got nothing on me

 

Except . . . he was returning home.

    Where   he  wanted to be

                                          Nuanced

                                                      Jah 

1129,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

Wha do ya think if I said I often imagine wishful thinking is a fairy

A fairy?

              A gay dude, a fairy like Tinkerbell?

Tinkerbell

Interesting way to perceive . . wishful thinking.

It flutters an I prefer while its motion is similar to a moth at a lighted bulb at nightnot as husky  spastic more elegant  a fairy   Tinkerbellish

shrugged  Alright.

However  an why I brought this up

                                          

                                              A question intrigues me

 

    This is when you ask Wha question

laughs

          What’s that?

You know tha womens breasts are rarely symmetric one larger than the othermy experience

Mine too.

                  What’s that about?

One testicles larger than the other

                                      Comon

So my thinkingmy question is one wing of wishful thinking bigger than the other

                                                                                          Lopsided 

    Jesus.

1330,  Wednesday,  16  9. 26

1039,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

. . . she was strange.     

    A stranger  Which one

 

What do you mean which one?

Was she a stranger was she stranger

                                             Which

She was a stranger.

Is tha definitive ya look    confused

You’re making a big deal out of nothin . .

. . You have

               Be explicit

Which is it  Strange or a stranger

She was a stranger.

There

              Was tha so hard

Why ya pickin’ on me?

Because I like strange  an I like strange even more on a stranger

                                                                       I needed your qualification

Qualificatio . .

. . You saw her I didnt

                        An you rarely provide details she was hot whawas so hot about her

When I mention women I try to describeem so you can somewhat pictureem in your head nearpicture wha they look like

Don I

You do.

Im askin for a fair shake thas not askin too much

    No.

Jah

         Coud she shake it

1330,  Wednesday,  16  9. 26

0947,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

There’s a small chanc . .

. . Stop   right there

deer caught in headlights  blinked

                                                    What?

    Small

Theres virtually no chance pointzerozerozerozerozerozerozero    one      chance

I said smal . .

. . Point sevenzeroesone  is not small

                                             What is it he was in no mood to be fucked with

playing with fire  Very small.

 

What?

                  Am I pissin’ you off?I know you despise the word.

 

 

I dare you to tell me again  balledup his fists

he knew he was prone to violence against anyone  being family didnt matter

                                                                   Alright alright. Take it down some notches.

    A miniscule chance.

                                         Better?                                                                                         Scintilla.

 

Words matter

1631,  Wednesday,  16  9. 26

0901,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

called it mosaic for a reason

                               broken bits that at the end of the projectReally ya see it endin    A thing at a time    ThingThing

                    thing its broken bits come togetheradhere  well see wha they comprise  recognisable or not

hed see

           he fashioned

                                                                

memes

inauthentic

unoriginal

whaever it turns out to be will be not  a meme

                                                   not a cultural inference cult inference

one no better than the other 

                                  mosaic

particles attracted  glommed

                                  a wildrandomopportune orgy that surprised  picked up steam

shook strays free

freed lazy bobbypins    Bobbypins

freed libidos

              Pardon me you have  have  stuff in your hairnever mind   I dig how light careens off it  Mirrorballish    Pearlescent

                                 believed gobs his despite having no idea in what direction they went off

 

years later knock at his door   Are you my Dad?

                                                           Fuck if I or you know kid  Who said

My Mom.

Her name

they said

    Sorry Your old lady was a fine piece of ass but she sleptround we all slept around  although lacking DNA evidenceNo  Im not sharingnot without a court order if the court can find me  Im fluid  unrooted  free  Im a rollin stone

                     Lotsaluck kid

    I wont deny I had sex with herkid flinched  if they flinched they shouldnt have pursued this gamut  Gamut    Mutt  

2329,  reggaefriday,  18  9. 26

1223/0023,  Saturday,  19  9. 26

Temptations  Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71l85z2bXAs