he always thought hed have that 

                                   thought hed grow old with his wife enjoy grandchildrennot many only their eldest was prone to the idea of having kids their youngest had no interest in birthing 

                                                                                   Ain't nothing that large passing through a hole that small without real pain and lingering discomfort. Knock yourself out, sis.

she wasnt ten when she spoke those words

he wasthey were proud of their girls 

                                      even as little girls they spun at a higher attitude orbits  few could pull the wool over their eyes 

he was the eldest of nine childrenhe helped raised little ones before leaving home  not one of them could hope to fly higher than a kite caught in a tree top 

                                       thats not true a baby sister a real lulu had gumption had balls she didnt like it when she could understand when he told her she had balls                                                                                                                               Save it honey I can see it in your face Youve heard me say so Someone tries to get up on youyour face sets they back off if theyre smart Yadon say it Your face speaks for you  Suck my cock. 

               Anif your face tells someone to suck your cock why should you bother being upset with me sayin you got balls Mens genitalia is not handsome Anya aptly swing it over your head like Davids sling looking to bring down Goliaths of either sex who mess with ya 

                                          Take it If I have girls Id want them to be like you in every way possible Just a bit smarter 

            There you golook at that face Yes suck your cock I hear yahear ya loud an clear 

an old man and woman were trimming a tree in their front yard  wind was blowing something fierce  they may have hoped it was the front edge of an approaching rainstorm

walking past he teased them how smart they were  putting the pole saw up on a limb and letting the wind do the work

they hahaed together

Have a fine afternoon he said as he continued walking down the street 

reaching the street cornernot forty metres off he kept thinking of them together helping each other thought to himself that he imagined he and his wife as an old couple his parents were eightynine eightyseven 

                                                                                             the beauty of a fiftyyear togetherness given when they married at eightynine and eightyseven theyd have sixtyseven years of togetherness  

his heart ached

wasnt meant to be             

probably 2ish,  Twosday,  19  1. 21

1550,  Twosday,  19  11. 21 

Beatles  When I’m 64   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TANPFMf1k 

 

 

he felt like crying all the time 

                                hed lost his wife  he lost his sister daughter and mother within a year and a halfhis daughter and mother in two weeks  

he had good reason to cry 

                            the most powerful women of his tribe were dead and only two remained who could possibly be confidantes  who he could bounce things off

since realising Trump virus was overwhelming the countryspread by selfish inaction he had few distractions to pursue that could quiet the pain in his heart

he was by himself

he was embattled 

he felt like crying all the time 

                                not very manly he disagreed maybe if neuteredtheir emotions cut away they could insist on their coldness their callousness  but he had always maintained anything anyfuckingthing he did was masculine 

             he was a man

grief

sorrow

ought to be sexless and embraced

 

1654,  Monday,  18  1. 21

1221,  Twosday,  19  1. 21