he didnt get upanout on the wrongside of the bed in the morning  then made it

                                                                                  but

he did get in on the wrongside at night

to read

a greenglass bankers lamp stood on the highboy beside the bed

among other books he was reading  The Free World  Louis Menand

                                                                        from Lionel Trillings Art and Fortune in The Liberal Imagination (I)deology is not acquired by thought, but by breathing the haunted air . . . (It) is a strange submerged life of habit and semihabit in which to ideas we attach strong passions but no very clear awareness of the concrete reality of their consequences.

AHMEN brother

Their now Menand political opinions may be rigid; they are not necessarily rigorous. They tend to float up out of some mix of sentiment, custom, moral aspiration, and aesthetic pleasingness.

Right on

Trilling Unless we insist that politics is imagination and mind, we will learn that imagination and mind are politics, and of a kind that we will not like.

Speakin to the choir

these were why he wouldnt get out of bed on the wrongside  didnt want to soil them like loaves of bread nourishing him he didnt want to risk dropping them in some foetid thing that would make them unappetisingsuddenly moldy  rancid

granted thats a leap

                       improbable

not impossible

think that way

become lax

             just asking for it 

however white male entitled

he was not privileged

which is nothing more than pouring gas on an assumedrighteous fire

its been probably threeanhaffour months out on the rightside in on the wrong  hes slept better than he ever hasdreamt  better than he ever has 

might be a streak

it may not

  though he was going to appreciate the hell out of it while it existed

                                                                         one voluptuous day at a time

  

1130,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1205,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

Max Richter  She Remembers  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwzFrY-xmHY

OhChrist yakiddin me

You’ll help me? she asked

   Awfuck

                   Okay yah

Are you upset with me?

I am

Why?

   Why

           Come over here  Stand by me

she walked over beside him beside the picnictable

You feel tha

   Feel what?

Let your hair down Propup your antennae

                                                    Feel tha feel anything

No I don’t.

Nothing nada

   Nothing.

               I don’t feel anything.

Fack

You feel somethin . .

. . Ya think Id ask you to stand with me if I didnt

                                                    Kinda like standing by a firepit warmingup on a cold day kid standing in front of the Frigidaire door open on a hot humid day house aint airconditioned

she looked around and round  

didnt met his eyes

couldnt do it forever

                           finally she looked at him  Nothing.   I don’t feel anything.

dejected Awright

                   Lets move it

I could . .

. . Find somebody elseNo

                          Lets do it  Im here now

Thank you.

Please  Don

they moved it four times

I like that. What do you think?

Nope  Like it the way it was

I want to change things up.

You certainly have

Indubitably? she giggled

glanced at her Donbe cute

You like indubitably, makes you smilelaugh.

Not now

tersely  Yawanna blowjob?

No

     Thank you

What bug crawled up your ass?

Bug

    You  Thought youd be attuned  My error

Attuned to what?

Chi  Yare a chi-blocker

                          Cant believe ya don feel it 

NO.

Well nothings to be done

                           Time comes when you want to change it up return it to the way it was call me any hourany day  Be here in a heartbeat

   In a heartbeat?

Heartbeat

You really detest its placement?

Detest the alignment  It fuckin detests its alignment 

                                                       Pity it its stationary got legs but cant move on its own  Have a little pity

It’s inanimate.

Yare inanimate he didnt say

You’re a piece of work.

Asya know

I’ve disappointed you.

Yes I havent been this disappointed in you since  since well    since

she rolled her eyes

                     Since?

Since you cockblocked me Halloween three years ago  The Brazilian chick

she glared

           You were drunk  You didnt know where she's been. She only would have used you.

I was interested in being usedwhere shes been

                                                        Ya didnt offer me a blowjob then  Cumpensation

I had no intentions of blowing you today.

DUH

they were quiet for a time

So. she finally said attempted humour

                                                I’m a chi-blocker?

As equally talented as a cock-blocker

I got go kiddo he kissed her on the forehead

You’re mad?

Less mad

When will I see you?

Anywhere but here

It’s summer . . I’ve got the pool.

Ya do

        Zip chi

1500,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1308,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

he didnt ask her what she didhe didnt ask anybody what they did

                                                                        hed ask Whaya readin

she said her own volition

I apologise again please I don know whatha is

I’m an ecopsychologist.

took him a momenthad to taffypull the two apart 

                                                            ahmade sense see a human being the natural world as one not separate treat them accordingly

I didnt know thawas a thing How longs it been around

It specifically, Eightynine, out of Berkeley.

Are you attending Berkeley

I wish no, my mentor did. He encouraged me to travel to Asia, take in their holistic, Eastern if you will, practisesapproaches to healing, compare them to the West’s.

                                                                Was a no-brainer. 

Have a Masters degree

Yes.

Youll excuse me all to Hell ya look like at teenager just beginning college

I’m twentynine.

I woudnt have guessed Keep it up kiddo at fifty youll look thirty

Thank you

their conversation sprawled

she journaled he wrote

they dreamed

he could lucid dream

                      she said she couldnt 

he strongly encouraged her continue trying 

                                             Use an appealing white noise to leap from into a priorconceived scenario place  when dreaming walking past a tablepause touch it feel its texturethe warmth of the woodmaybe warmed in the sun cool if evening  try little thingssubtle things  it will progress

she asked how lucidwhat could he command

Anything

           Dreaming nothing is impossible

I can fly I can breathe underwater

 

he met her months ago

waking this morning he thought of her 

dreamt

        found himself in an unknown kitchen with an unknown womanhe rarely dreamed of people he knew  she was wearing a crisp 50s housedress a gingham bibbedapron stood at the sink looking pensively out the window distracted  the dream was to have him interrupt herask what she was thinking

                                                                       instead

he walked up behind hersnatched her at the waist began spinning her like a fourspoked baton halted she upsidedown her apron dress fallen over her face he had only seen it opaquelyreflected in the kitchen window bit each cheek clothed in her white cotton pantiesnot too hard hard enough to make her bark like a happy dog expecting a bone

why ask

it was his dream

midnightAM dream,  Monday,  25  9. 23

1032,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

https://ies.bio/ecopsychology/what-is-ecopsychology/

https://www.ecopsychology.org/journal/ezine/ep_origins.html

DROUGHT

            tangentially

a drought in the sense of peoples physicality lack of fitness which he witnessed in airports a once-a-year endeavor  rolling their baggageLUGgage as they sipped coffee or cold drinks munch paperwrapped foodstuff wheelslocked tucked underfoot in transient appeals of bay restaurants “The TSA would like to remind youbadger you that any unattended baggage is prohibited in the terminal area. Any unattended baggage will be removed by the airport police.”

drought

   slovenliness

although inclinedmanipulated September11inherited  as TSA (Transportation Security Administration) adjunctsyes herd airtravelers line them up have them dressdown scour their bags and bodies with ionizing radiation Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) forhe loved it benign undivested itemsanwhynot (BUIs)

                                                                          ticketed passengers slough through airports which compared to when he was younger now seem no more than shabby bus depots regaled to inner cities remote compounds located on the outskirts of urbanity

 

if airports ran like German trains he wouldnt have realised how deep a drought America was in

1420ish,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

0912,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

https://www.rd.com/article/what-do-airport-body-scanners-see/