Ah there you are I was wondering if wed run into each other
again today
there would be no reply
he talked to the digital clock display above the electric range in his apartment the display that never slept soft yellowgreen legible day and night bright enough he let it be the kitchen nightlight as a boy their houses kitchen upstairs hall and bathrooms were nightlit by unusual fixtures if he thought about ithe didnt itd seem rote to himnatural but if he did think about it he might suppose they soothed him provided him a kind of security a familial touch that he left behind when he was twenty halfway across the continent
he talked to the digital clock display above the electric range in his apartment the display that never slept soft yellowgreen legible day and night bright enough he let it be the kitchen nightlight as a boy their houses kitchen upstairs hall and bathrooms were nightlit by unusual fixtures if he thought about ithe didnt itd seem rote to himnatural but if he did think about it he might suppose they soothed him provided him a kind of security a familial touch that he left behind when he was twenty halfway across the continent
he knew when he was a boy he didnt
want to live in Chicago he bided his time
his father used to teaseused to introduce
him This is my son, Joe, he’s not going to live here when he grows up.
no he wasnt
if he was a superstitious manprone
to paranoia he might think something was up something was coming his way today
not something good
not something bad
but rather seeing 1-2-3-4 a
fourth time in four days he saw it as a reversed countdown there was no such time as 1-2-3-4-5 on a
digital clock
perhaps the 1-2-3-4 led to a
terminus or critically a ter-minus
term-minus and if something was to be taken
away from him he might be less
he tried to craft his life
eliminating want coming down on the side
of need necessity
his excesses were art books
music all of which revealed his eclectic
nature revealed his sensuality
when he was younger he tried to
share his excesses with friends they
were not interested
he demoted his friends to
acquaintances if push came to shove
they would watch from the sidelines
he was the kind of friend who had his friends back he didnt know any betterone could past that off to his honesty his heightened sense of what friendship meant to him Youre so fucking altruistic. Im not You are. You always consider where someone is coming from, looking past the immediate moment, its tenuousness, its trouble, and you ask questions, concise kind questions, trying to draw them out, trying to determine what was really at issue. Thats friendship Man, you have a warped sense of friendship.
that was the first time he was an adult
he ever considered that a friendship might be convenient and anything convenient isnt substantial is replaceable is cheap
he be damned if hed have cheap
relationships
so he didnt
his eclectic nature was deviously
satisfying it rarified his sense for
need rather than want
Ohshit 1-2-3-4 5 again
the countdown continues
1234, Thursday,
4 10. 18
1234, Saturday, 6 10.
18
Nneka God of Mercy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMOUTZMRmAY
