she was harried
setting her items
down on the counter she sighed
deeply somewhat frustrated upclose he saw she was hairyed her
clothing
Didnt your mother tell you youre
not supposed to hold animals when you wear black
she cast her eyes to her breast her
sleevesshe grasped her sweater at the waist pulling it away from her body saw
more of the animal shed OhforChristssake!
I look like a yeti.
Aint that bad
Damn near. Dont try to humor me
please.
It aint even my
animal, its my son’s girlfriend’s guinea pig, he gave it to her, she wanted a
guinea pig badly, she just broke up with him and gave it back to him. Its her guinea pig. a
deeper sigh
Youll excuse me Why is this your problem Its her guinea pig
Awh. Her parents kicked her out of the house and
she’s between places. She can't care for a guinea pig and herself while she
moves around between friends. They didn’t
really kick her out, it’s a long story.
Ill not pry
Thank you. It’s shit, it’s shit. I hate getting caught up in shit that isn’t
mine. I’ve
always had to deal with my shit.
It’s not even a nice guinea pig.
Not nice Youre covered in fur
sigh
I laid down on the couch to take a quick nap this afternoon before heading out on errands. It climbed up on me while I was asleep, the most affection its
ever offered me . .
. . While you were asleep Sounds
like a punchline to a Joan Rivers joke
Joke?
Yeah Her husband told her he was really enjoyed
their sex lifeit was fantastic Then she
began waking up
groan
Groan Thats funny
I didn't care for Joan Rivers.
I liked her humour I understand they made her into Tupperware
when she died
OhmyGod!
No
Thats her joke Im just repeating it
I didn’t like her humor.
I only heard her occasionallybut
I always laughed She was a cutup she was
cutupthat I dont understand But back to your sons girlfriends guinea pig I got
a solution
A solution?
Yes Its not a nice guinea pig
No. It’s not nice.
Do you see your son solving this
problem
No. I’m caring for it.
Then I have your solution
Which is?
Eat it
Whaat?
They eat guinea pigs in Peru My daughter visited an she shared a guinea
pig with her boyfriend Said it was
delicious
I don’t think so.
You dont think Peruvians eat guinea
pigs or you dont think you could eat a guinea pig
I have a groundskeeper who is
from Peru. I’ll ask him.
Then also ask him for a good
recipewrite it downgo into the houseconfront the guinea pig read it the
recipe except you leave out the part where
its an ingredient Betcha it hears thatan
understands it Itll treat you real nice
A guinea pig.
Dont make that faceyouve eaten
rabbit
Ah, yes. Yes, I’ve eaten rabbit.
Squirrel Its a rodentlike a guinea pig a rabbit
Unconventional meatbut meat nonetheless
My family back East eats squirrel
Ive
eaten squirrel many times Raised in the Midwest
And you liked it?
Tastes like chicken You can eat a guinea pig
I don’t know.
Lets run the gamut Rat
Yu rat?
Yup Think about ityou raise youre own ratsfeed em well why wouldnt you eat rat
You say rat. I think of wharf
rats or sewer rats.
Youre thinking wrong What you ought to think wait for it
wait free range rat Free range animalsya pay a premium per
pound Just saying
Oh. My. God.
Betcha they taste like chicken too
Thursday evening, 22 2.
18
1354, Friday,
23 2. 18
