december 25th unfortunately was the december 25th he expected

                                                  he anticipated

he was really getting tired of looking forward untangling the looming ciphers making sense of them and explicitly seeing them for what they were what they portended what was fast coming down the pipe(or wry  the drainpipe)

he dismembered surprise

                                     and surprise dismembered  eviscerated  aligned  was nothing more than just another day

a mundane day

a munday

munday begat toosmunday

begat whens?munday                             

throughmunday                               

freedmunday                                   

sat-on-squat-onmunday                                 

so-so-sunnymunday

every day was relative to the next and flat  congealed  dull  wood clothespins on a cotton line without task without wet laundered clothes without a tug or the sorrow of wind

                                       without tug or sorrow of the wind

1717,  Munday,  26 12. 16

Red Hot Chili Peppers  Soul to Squeeze  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XcN12uVHeQ

NO    dont you dare say you didnt mean it

you were up to your hilt inside of her

how do you think you can excuse  ask to be excused of thatPassion?  you think passion is an excusethat passion is blameless  mindless?

passion is a brook?

Oh please forgive me I promise I wont do it again

you wontwill you?  despite lying this time

isnt the first time the hardest?

isnt it downhill from therea slippery slope

you knew it

you tread it

you   only you   gave into it

then tell me why tell me why you wont again    or againand again

honestly you wanted her

you didnt go into it inknowcently

                  

                                                 she asked you Would you come with mejoin me

you were temptedyou cant say you werent

you were tempted

             and that didnt throw off a signalthrow up a red flag

you were blatantly tempted

you could have said NOright then and there

you could have said no

you could have said no

but you didnt

        

          maybe you felt you could pull back if things went the way you hoped they would

because shes a married woman maybe you thought shed pull back   she made the vow

were you counting on her to say No to say Stop

since when did you count on other peopleyou never have

youre asking for forgiveness when you defied yourself

when you lied to yourself

when you laid down with her

when you laid down with her because you were attracted to herand by your own words there arent many women youre attracted to

you said one thing and did the other

you cant take it back

because you wanted it

you   you wanted it

you meant it you meant it because you wanted it

you

     are you truly going to ask forgiveness for something you meant

1313,  Thursday,  29  12. 16