he had a problem although he recognised his problem he taped a
poster by a single tab of Scotchtape at its top to his livingroom wall to remind
himself maybe notper se he needed
reminding but to remind others around him
the poster was of a burntblack
Bill the Cat drawn by Berkeley Breathed sitting flat on his ass under the exclamation I’ve gone to look for myself. If I should return
before I get back, keep me here.
too bad he didnt have it when he
was married
it would have be so fuckin
helpful
he could have pointed to it
before he began arranged the room
shed say I’ve got something I need to talk to you about.
hed say You bet and he put down
the book or magazine he was reading or set the red Bic down on the paper and
clipboard he was writing on or turned the television set off if he was watching
it or cross the livingroom to record player she
began seething take the needle from the vinyl
seat it and turn it off then grab a chair from the kitchen set and set it down
immediately across from where she sat on the sofa hed sit down
then hed say Awright you have my
undivided attention
and shed go nutsrage at his
elaborate staginghow fuckin ridiculous
he was being
he didnt ask What did
need mean
and at the end
of her bitter volcanic eruption shed burst into tears stumble off the couch leave
the livingroom go up the hall and slam the bedroom door shut behind her
neighbours within earshot thought
they heard a gunshot that someone inside the apartment was dead not like they lived in a bad
neighbourhood while he rocked drolly back on
the chairs two metal legsclasped his hands fingers intertwined behind his head keeping
it from falling off muttering JaysusChrist JaysusChrist I staged nothingnot a damn thing
he told herreminded her for as
long as he knew her that if she wantedneeded his undivided attention that he
had to kill any distractions that might pull him away from what she might
say Sometimes he told hersometimes youll
say something and Ill find myself riffing on itsuddenly absent from the
conversationabsent regarding what youre saying
Its not for lack of attention hed
say I suddenly find something youve said so utterly interesting so more
engrossing than the context you said it in .
. . you only get one shot/do not miss a chance to blow/cuz Opportunity comes
once in a lifetime yo . . . Baby its not likely youd appreciate
me signaling for a timeout so I could scribble down what you saidhow it enticed
me
maybe the crispy Bill the Cat poster
would have helped
since his wife died he tried to steer
clear of intimate relationships
if intimacy reckoned he duly
pointed to Bill and say Im reminding you right hereright now youve got no excuse
or cause to be angry with me Im dead and
done with drama You bring it into my
house an Ill drag it out by its hair or whatever I can get my hands on first I dont want any drama period Ive had enough for a lifetime Im not apologising for what I want
hed take his hand down from
pointing and look them full in the face Cuz mebbe
youll dig what I have to offer
Bill aint up no more
his last intimacy has lasted
better than seven years
1446, Twosday,
24 7. 18
0034, Day-between-Two-Ts, 25 7.
18
