he may have the longest-lived AIO toilet
seat in America
14 years
it looks 14 years
it looked rural gas station
but the motherfucker is functional
hence
attractiveness long gone
like all things that age
however
its years off of the record toilet seat he ever saw
As God as my witness Ill never see the likes of it again
Unfuckinlikely
Florida
they took a turnout to a gas station
crossed a brief decrepit bridge over a moat that was fed by the
Everglades which was all around the station its backdrop an abbreviated horizon for the
prehistory vegetation and palm trees
they got out
handing them a sawbuck I expect change I gotta take a shit
the three guys nodded as they pulled
through their wallets for gas money
he leaned into the lobby no one there
Excuse me Key for the restroom please
from somewhere in its bowels Got no key for the toilet. Left, around back.
Thank you
Yeah.
left around back to the right of a
heaping yellow an rust dumpster the door
it did say TIOLET on it
scrawled in black MagicMarker
a gallant effort
door was cracked open a bit
something emanated
he pushed it open with his foot
black flies for doormen and attendants
anticipating tips
sink
metalfaced mirror
urinal
graffitied stall
not black MagicMarker
a few telephone numbers for a good time
for a blow job for a hand job boutique
services
had he a pen he would have printed his
girlfriends number she was all the jobs
rolled together then some
some nights
he swore she was hired to kill him
pushed the stall door open with his foot
of course its hinges creakedgroaned
they didnt want to be there either
he also didnt have a screwdriver to free
them
looked for tioletpaper
looks like itd been drop in water didnt dare wonder
what water
he had a handkerchief
it was gonna take one for the team
hed remember it
purple paisley bandanna
That’s not a handkerchief. That’s a
bandanna.
Yasee my nose Broken three times it weeps an aint a damn
thing to be done about it except to blow it
purple paisley bandanna
gift from Lulu
hed write her a letter thanking her again profusely and advising her of its demise
how grateful he was to her for it
looked in the tiolets maw
swear something moved in the bowl
shit on it
it shouldnt be there if it was there
stood on the seat
held the bandanna between his teeth
unbuttoned his green 501s
took it to his ankles
red Jockey briefs to his ankles
squat deep
Steady steady through his grit teeth
shat plenty was
a healthy shat when he looked back on it
wiped himself
dropped it on the floor on top of a pile
of used tiolet paper heard somewhere that was a Mexican
thing but Florida maybe Cuban
yanked up buttoned up dismounted Hi-yo Silver
opted not to flush
worried its contents possible creature
would bubble up and spill
thought Leave well enough alone
stepped out
Jah
wasnt using the sink
considered hed use the spray bottle and solution used to clean
windshields to wash his hands heading
over he saw a mounted peeling enamel tin holding folded brown paper hed dry his
hands with that
coming out onto the apron two pumps
three chuckleheads
Guys Id suggest ifya got shit go
up the road a bit an shit on the side of the road
For that matter
Piss there too
Toilets unholy
Woudya toss me the keys Id like to get
in the trunk
opened it
opened the cooler there
opened a beer
washed his hands with beer
sipped breathing through his nose cleansed his
palette
What the hell, man? Wasted half a beer.
Antiseptic
dried his hands on his pants
midnight, Wednesday,
12 8. 26
1116, Sunday, 16 8.
26
