he couldnt say for sureTHAT drove him nuts

                                               he had it he had it had it had it had it   lost it went right out of his head

GO TO JAIL! 

DO NOT PASS GO.

DO NOT COLLECT $200. 

                           he didnt even get a chance to flip an orange Chance or yellow Community Card

GO!  GONE!

            what a bitch thought sure-as-shit itd stay tangledwrapped up in the clutter cobwebs and detritus in his skull

a fucking cat burglar

he didnt even know where to dust for prints

two days he ran any tape he could think of that might jostle the words free two words a vowel difference amiably opposed or so he seemed to recall

                                    should have written them down

rather he got caught up in roiling hypnagogic bit plays

who needed acid

who needed to get stoned

every morning he woke nuts YA FUCKIN KIDDIN ME

at the end of two days he ran the white flag up the flagpole Dont shoot Dont shoot  I surrendered 

                                                                                                            Now tell me

He wasnt saying an the other he wasnt saying or him or them or they or those monster dill pickle eaters

everyone kept their traps shut tight 

he was surprised they didnt pass out mouthbreathers all  they were just like him  three times broken virtually eradicated his ability to breathe through his nose

the best he could come up with was Want and Wont  Want and Wont tied up in a neat daisy chain chasing each other round and round his headbefore his eyes for the better part of the night until REPRIEVE

                                                                                            hed be remiss if he didnt admit to the daisy chain running counterclockwise for a bit a breathy voice Don’t say I never did anything for you. he didnt know who that was had to have been infiltrated he and his never used never Verboten Nein Nyet Non Ochi Bango  Ochi Greek Bango Japanese hed been told No by all flavours of women which only made all the flavours of women who said Yes more sweet

counterclockwised

infiltrated

toss his ass in an iron maiden an walkaway

Want Wont maybe one day the words would present themselves

his REPRIEVE was delicious

the words were gone

the daisy chain ceased

in their stead was a trembling iceblue circular cake with four identical candles on it the candles were lit they seemed organic to the cake it didnt look like the candles penetrated the smooth fluid icing  as they burned they cast an orangeish dusk light which heightened the colouring of the decrepit stained cardboard box the cake sat on

the cake celebrated something or other but he had no idea  what he knew was was he was there on purpose to witness to celebrate  and he was going to get a slice or handful of cake despite he didnt like cake

                                                                                                          not his Wont

but definitely his Want

1003,  Thursday,  25  6. 20

1404,  Saturday,  27  6. 20

Richard Harris  MacArthur’s Park  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iplpKwxFH2I        

he needed more time

Then I have everyone else’s order?

the table of men nodded

she excused herself saying shed get the coffee water and juices

returned  dispersed: What will it be, cowboy?

he cast a surreptitious glance around the booth to see if any of the others caught what she said she saw himsaw the roughneck the hard man sitting before her  despite the suit and tie

I'm still thinking.

Should I wait?

Yes. he liked it when people had to wait for him 

the man looking out the window through the venetian blinds into the parking lot said  He likes the items you have pictured on your menu; he’s wondering if you might have a menu that pictures all your items, he leaned forward to glance the nametag on her breast  Jody. 

she snapped her gum which should have been answer enough for most but cowboy held his menu tightly earnestly

No. she said

the ferretfaced man on the aisle to her immediate right said He’d like to know if substitutions are allowed.

she didnt reach across the table to cowboys menu and point it out  she wanted to badly At the top of the menu you can read it’s an additional Twofifty.

the ferret said  He doesnt like to read

I suppose that’s why he’s surrounded himself with you, guys. then only turning her head  Cowboy. Make a decision?

The coffee’s fine. he handed his menu to the man to his right who reached across the two others beside him and handed the menu to her

Okay. I’ll put the orders in and doubleback to refresh the coffee.

she returned she refilled everyones mug and left

immediately cowboy asked  How’d she do that, give me and Mike our Decaf?

a stunned silence descended on the table

Mike answered  Sir. You and I are the only mugs that have coasters beneath them. That’s a tell, so she and other waitresses can refill our coffee without asking decaffeinated or regular. It’s more efficient, sir.

And if I hide my coaster?

Then, sir, you get what you ordered.

I’ve ordered Decaf.

Sir. Then leave your coaster where it is.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jun/27/russia-offered-bounties-afghanistan-militants-killing-us-soldiers-report-outrage

cowboy didnt want anything off the menu

                                              he just drank his Decaf with powdered Cremora and Sweet ‘n Low

0808,  Saturday,  27  6. 20

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/problem-trump-s-denial-russia-bounty-controversy-n1232378?cid=eml_mra_20200629