he dreamt he wore an empty sleevehis
left
it frightened the shit out of him
he
woke
wasnt it bad enough his wife just
diedhis heart torn to pieces
his left lay arrested over the top
of his head across his pillow
his head laid on the
mattress
he couldnt feel his armthere were
no sensationsno nerveendings ended?
he groped his sidefelt for his
left with his right hand
it was empty
his arm where could it beMUTHAFUCKER! he cried
in a desperate flourish his daughter flew in through the open doorwayDAD! WHATS WRONG
tears ran down his cheeks My
armmuh arms gone baby
she came to his side of the bedhe
slept on the right got out of the right side of the bed juju
Aw Dad she grasped his wrist it was coldhe couldnt feel her
warmth Its here Its right here over your head Dad
Over my head Pleaseplease could you give it to me
she lifted his arm by his wrist and gently
brought it down past his eyes so he could see it was truly there
she laid his arm across his chest There
Its dead baby my arms dead
No The circulations only been cut off for
whatever reason You dont normally sleepdo
you with your arm over your head at
least not your left
No not usually
No An odd positionYou had it in an oddan
unfamiliar position I think your arms
having a little fun at your expense
he could feel a soft warming an oozeimagined
a lava flowa tropical island hot red to cool crinklingblack smouldering steaming the oceanthe seafloor mothering it
Can you feel it Is it starting
It
isyes Thank you he wept unashamedly quietly I thought it died too went after Mom
Mom wouldnt allow youor have you give
up your left arm Its your dominate arm
Not Mom
Who
Who eydonknow Extracting a pound of fleshPunishment
Punishment Punishment
You think Moms death is punishment
I think of her death Ill have to
endure it
Yes Endure Youll have to endure her death I
dont want to
I
dont want to either What choice is theredo
you want to diedo you want the pain to stopstop at the expense of your
life You dont want to die
I
dont
Neither do I
his arm felt the colour of a blushing
rose a warm bleeding wound I dont either
Shall we make a pact to live out our lives Endure
Moms death Remember herremember her
life not her depression not her angerher frustration Remember Mom You have ohsomany memories more of her than
I do Share them with meplease Share them so I know her better who she waswho she
was when you meet herwhen you fell in love with her When you decide to propose When you made love to her
You remember
those timesthose moments
I do
Shall we make a pact Shall we make a pactits forfeiture your arm
Is it feeling better now
It is
As you feel betterIll feel
better In time
In time You want my arm as collateral
I
dont want your arm as collateral Ive lost
my mother You lost your wife Im of her bodyyour body
You still have your mother
I do
Then only when you lose your
mother will you have a sense of what Im feeling because you cantyou cant
possibly
You never will Youll never have lost your mother as a
teenage girl Never have lost all the years
youve enjoyed with Gramma
Never
1831, Monday,
30 1. 17
1309, Friday,
29 9. 17
Vanilla Fudge You Keep Me Hangin’ On https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3ChToIvLRM
