Frugal? You haven’t half a clue what frugal is; you got five minutes I can tell you.

he talked like he was going to jump

                                     like a suicide  convinced by his convictions

convictions can make jumpers of everyone

he wasnt a convict

so he opted to hear him out

frugality in this day and age seemed hyperbole

hed like to hear hyperbull 

                           a beast without modesty

I got the time whacha got

My brother; want him, need a brother?

No thanks got three

I got five, we could lose him, wouldn’t be missed.

Too frugal

Can squeeze a penny. 

                        He lives within his means like they were prison walls. He maintains price-points, if a store can’t hit them he does without, the way he sees it the item isn't necessary, and while he rarely wants, he’s extravagant for others.

A thoughtful guyhuh

Oh yeah, full of thoughts.

So whas the knock 

Bags. Paper bags, plastic bags, he has them in abundance, readily plies us with them.

Why does he ply us  the family Ill assume  with bags

Because we toss ours.

Recycle them

Yeah, we don't keep them around, then we turn up short when they’re needed. He pulls our butts out of the fire and forces us to listen to him harangue Waste not, want not; waste not, want not; waste not, want not. Epizeuxis, he says, to drive home his point.

Because hes frugal

Yes. Frugal. I did say plastic bags, right?

Ya did.

I went to visit him. He rented a bigger car so everyone could ride together to our nieces’ soccer games; it was a weekend tournament.

An example of his extravagance

Yes, yes. The parking lot was full so he stopped us at the gate and left the sports complex to park the car somewhere in the neighborhood. He missed the warm-ups and was almost late for the start.

The girls won their games, so they had to return for the afternoon brackets. He went to fetch the car but everyone insisted we walk together.

We got inside, started off, one of the girls pipes up What stinks!  It smelled like someone stepped in dogshit. It was awful.

Everyone who could check their shoes did; nothing.

We rolled the windows down and when we got home he checked his shoes too, everyone rechecked their shoes, no dogshit. It was strange. He left the windows down while we went inside for a light lunch and relaxation.

 

A light rain came up as we were driving back to the complex. We rolled the windows up again. No sooner had we than we could smell it again.

I was sitting directly behind him, and looking down, tucked just underneath bench, under him, I saw a large blue plastic bag, it was folded in half.

I pulled it out, unfolded it, opened it, and got blasted in the face with the stench. Someone shit in the bag. I gagged, nearly tossed my cookies What’s this? I shouted as I hurriedly closed and refolded it; everyone cracked their windows.

He caught me in the rearview, What’s what?

A blue bag.

I picked it up, tossed it in the car.

You didn’t look inside? Didn’t feel a weight?

I did not. Looked like nice big blue bag somebody carelessly left on the parkway.

Yeah, well, let’s discount they were careless.

Frugal muthafucker.

Yah thatsah   frugal 

Afternoon,  Saturday,  12  6. 21

1220,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  6. 21