Admittedly Youve admittedcant pullaway pullback    Admittedly

                                                                        If you have no discipline you havent initiative

All ears

Wrong.

    Of course

So tell me  Instruct me

You seem to think there’s . .

. . There is

There is what?

Connective tissue

Theyre tethered bound tied no daylight between em  An intimate bondage     I know

You want to secondguess me

there would have been a GULP there

                                       if he had spit

Youre wise not to challenge me

I wait on no one

I follow my instincts  experience        

Instinct foments initiative

Initiative informs decision

Decision parks your ass in the lead 

Case in point youre rearguard

                                  Safe an secure

Somebody has to

   Somebody

Youre them

Youre responsible for my six

Stabbed in the back

Youre to blame

Woud be an ugly failing

You think mighty highly of yourself.

I don

        I know me

Havent ever been different

Some think thas unfortunate  Baneful

I woudnt know

I was made this way

Hadnt a choice

But youve had that luxury

Have chose safe  An secure

No one blames you I don

Safe an secure

1543,  Monday,  8  7. 24

2156,  Monday

she came into the apartment

                                he had finished showeringwas having a cold beerwas a hot day  was making fruit salad to have with coldcut sandwiches potato salad for dinner

Saturday he worked

she was tipsy was drinking coolers in the shade with three of her friends

                                                                               Are you coming out?

Ive been out all day long  No

You’re not coming outside to sit with us you could come out when you’re done with the fruit salad you’re almost done.

Baby  Ive been out

                     When Im finished here Im turning some Coltrane going to sit on the back porch under the wisteria have another beer read

You should come out and sit with us.

Youre enjoying one another

                             When youre ready to ea . .

. . Can I invite them for . .

. . No

        You covered the coolers correct Were not feeding them they can go home

You’re being rude.

My intention is to enjoy you our dinner

                                         Thatheyre divorced have children at home youve generated them plenty respite

They can go home

Do you understand you’re hurting their feeling?you give them no time.

Before I came in to shower I gaveem bout ten minutes

No. Not that.

Not tha

No. fidgeted with the bottle in her hands thumped it with her thumb  dull thuds

                                                                                     They think you don’t like them.

Thas wrong Yaoughta correctem

Correct them?

                Correct them how?

Tellem its not tha I don likeem

                                  Tell them   I do not think of them

1325,  Monday,  8  7. 24

he was high

she was not

a telephone conversation twothousand miles apart

                                                          he was foreverimpressed

words flying through the air

through him

              still through wire

his transmissions rarely fucked up

                                     a price he was yet willing to absorb despite AT&T fucking him an whoever else in the ass

did he like being fucked in the assNo

                                       but he didnt like inferior cell service or marveled at smartphones  iPhone  Samsung Galaxy Huawei sounds fun Lenovo Legion Xiaomi on a sushi menu hed order it Poco Oppo ZTE Blade Vivo

LG THinQ Alcatel

they are addictive people keptemheldem as tight as their cocks an cuntscould very well be called heroin cocaine crackcocaine alcohol fentanyl Barbiturates methadone crystalmeth Amphetamines Benzodiazepines whoknew xylazine tranq whoknew  nicotine

a World Wide Addiction

                         SURE addicts dig other addicts

makeem available to children aid their miseducation indoctrination deterioration derangement

HMMM

        maybe he did like takin it in the ass

   Escalator

             You know why escalators an elevators

Coming out of the blue on me, Joe.

No

     Yamentioned him

Oh. You could have said golden escalator.

Anya know why

I don’t, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.

Stairs

Stairs?

Cant negotiate them Gets out over the top of his toes headlong tumble

                                                                           Imagine the smearmarks

Yalike escalators

I’ve never thought about it I don’t mind them.

They terrified me when I was a boy

                                      Particularly going downAwJesus

But you were okay heading up?

Yah Used its momentum timed my hop my hurtle

But not going down?

Ohno nono  Ya familiar gristmill shredder maw

she laughed

Don laugh

Sorry I’m sorry.

                  Was imagining your horror. Being gobbled up.

Yah

        Like an Asian eating a bowl of rice with chopsticks

Itsybitsy bits shreds

                        Horrid

An I aint dead till my heads shred brain gobbled

Horrible

Traumatic childhood.

Fucking malls

1441,  Thursday,  4  7. 24

1052,  Monday,  8  7. 24

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after lambasting himconcurring he had no discipline he happened upon an article on Thoreau Transcendentalism

usually he wasnt one to heap on pile on but when the gods align the stars throwdown an form a smiley face on the black sky he couldnt sidestep it

                            “The best that you can write will be the best you are.”

truly

      its wasnt meant alone for Mr Undisciplinedbut

he sharply pointed it out snapped off the point in him then bludgeoned him with its hardwood shaft

You coud write

I could write.

              Who?

Whomever

            I write threefour letters a week Ive not considered it a discipline I will now

You love getting bills advertisements coupons that you hardlyever use   only them in your mailbox

Can you recallremember the light inside you when someone took time out of their dayimagined you  as they wrote

Its a visitation

Metaphysical

Cuts both ways

It cuts both ways.

                   Cheap cut.

Ohnobrother price of stamps today  I have letters that have three cent stamps on th . .

. . You keep letters?

I keep letters I keep the day they were written keep their explanations wishes their mundane  I keep their words

Many are dead now

Those are the only words I have to listen to to restore resurrect their voice in my ears

I can see by your expression you don believe meyou woudnt

You don receive letters

You don write letters

Realise  When youre dead you will be silent

0910,  Monday,  8  7. 24

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