. . . made him wonder what the dead thoughthe thought of them often every day   couldnt shake them if he tried

they were there when he woke

when he went to sleep

he missed them

desperately

at times

            but he couldnt convince himself they thought of him

not in that quiet

                 not even quietSilent

Still

      he hoped none of them were afraid of the dark

he remembered his fearwhat he did to defeat defy it  leave it behind before it was a childish thing

what had made him wonder

                              he was in the kitchen spooning wet catfud onto saucers for four inside two outdoors would get wet too in addition to kibble

might be he thought of animals he killed  skinned  ate              

or of ruined dead animals he pickedup off the road mindlessly killed by people in cars that werent skinned eaten

       

   eat what you kill ought to be required

A little severe arent you son?

I dont know Dad I never went to war like you

                                                  Couldve been a good idea no mindless slaughter no collateral damage

You're really severe boy.  Where these ideas come from?

   I think theyre common sense

War seems senselessI don know I wasnt there you were   But you were just a young man

Yes. Yes.

            You went to prison rather than serve.

I did

      Serve who

Serve wha

Or maybe serve so others can hold power

Bush  September Eleventh   he manufactured war

Netanyahu October Seventh   he provoked war an apartheid nation virtually begs it

   I don’t know grandson.   I don’t know, but I don’t think about it.   I can’t.

1609,  Sunday,  29  10. 23

https://lieber.westpoint.edu/collateral-damage-innocent-bystanders-war/

Edwin Starr  War  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJRJpbGkG4

hims

found him

some fuckin algorithm brought up his email address

grateful it endedup in his TRASH

                                   thats where it belongednot bad enough telemarketers descending on his cellphone after he dropped his landline but marketers cant leave a stone unturned they wouldnt be doing their job

Fine

     Go to TRASH

Have either of you heard of hims

they gawked at him

Don gimme tha look Just say

ladies first

             Are you kiddin’ me?

he seconded her

Im not kiddin Wha is it

You’re kiddin’ me. she said

he had years on her and she like her seconding sidekick hed second anything that came out of her mouth wouldnt take a shit without taking their smartphones with them like they wouldnt know the world came off its axis unless it was verified through some newsfeed or social media entity theyd committed to like religion

                                                                                           No

Second said  No he’s not kidding. He’s so far out of the loop . .

. . Ill not get roped into anything tha Im uninterested in 

                                                           Advertisements die in my rarified air

Rarified air?ohmy. 

                    Should we suppose we ought be honored with your presence, coming down off the mountaintop to be with us mere mortals

tickled  Second laughed

Nah pointing at Second with his thumb He invited me asked me to stop on the way over for a bag of icecubes for your drinks Happy to help  So apparently you follow advertisementsknow wha hims is

You truly don’t?

Why woud I

I told you, he’s a hermit. He does what he does and if he doesn’t want to do something he doesn’t. He’s cut and dried.

That doesn’t sound fun.

Im a fuckin riot

she flinched

as he knew she would

Nigger

she doubleflinched

                    he called Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas niggerrefused to call him black he didnt want to offend black people

   . . . a fuckin riot

The man’s funny. Second said  He’s what I call . . . . looked at himimplored him . . what do I call you?

Ya need a moment furthur 

No.

      I’m drawing a blank.

Yawanna hint

No.

     I know you know.

I remember

What I said.

Whell babe he fixed her with his eyeshe wasnt a fan of hers turns out the two moneyed principals who startedup hims startedup hers clever white boys 

                                He calls me charismatic To a lesser degree I of think myself as my mother did  charming

One in the same, arent they?

No

I believe they are.

You believe in God Welcome to believe as you willbut no 

                                                            To put a fine point on it Charm I come to you which I did  Charisma You come to me

Charm is definitely more intimate

When I crawl out of my shell Or come down off the mountain be wha it may I can be charming

He has a name for it.

An tha is

Don’t ask me I know you know.

he sighed A hint

Come on man, I’m a little messed up, can’t be working that hard.

You donwanna work tha hard

I  do  not.

Performative

That’s it!  I knew you knew.

she eyed him second then eyed him

Performative?

Yes 

      Im more an introvert than extrovert but I can play the game

Game?

Whawere doin now Relating 

                               So howbout you relate wha hims is then we can clear tha hurtle an move along to something far far more interesting Please  I coudif I were interested find their mission statement Every publiclytraded entity has a bullshit statement as glossy as a highlypolished dick

she blanched

An aint nothing more highlypolished than a mans dick

I thought you were charming.

Apparently thas in the eye of the beholder pointing with his thumb at Second Take a look at him  He thinks Im charming

Don’t smiling like a hyena drag me into this.

Bullshit I got dragged into this

                                      returning his attention to her Wha the hells hims  An lets just say I can be charming

I’m not feeling the vibe.

You havent an antenna for me Hims

It’s a company that sells sexual aids, scents . .

. . Cosmetics

If you would.

I woud 

         Atomisers

   Atomizers?

You said scents

I’m sure some of their products are atomized.

Hims

       Definitely not up my alley

she looked puzzled

he was puzzled she looked puzzled

                                      Lemme say bout tha Were adultsbeen around the block Im addressing you specifically Woudya rather be atomised or rocked by a cumet

Thas spelled C U M E T 

she blanched again

1420,  Sunday,  27  8. 23

1311,  Sunday,  29  10. 23

https://medium.com/@jasonvuvu/charming-vs-charismatic-understanding-the-difference-and-figuring-out-which-one-you-are-f64cba62125d

Whell hush my mouth  1990s the article said1990s  an Im first hearin boutSTOP  first reading about it now  Reading  I don hang in circles that might commonly discuss mental illness psychology psychiatry

                                                                                             Neurodivergent neurodiverse

Likened to ADHD ODD canya imagine  an mental circumstance described as odd OCD CD DMDD kinda like dribbledriveling at the corners of ones mouth IED not Improvised Explosive Devise but Intermittent Explosive Disorder see the trouble with acronyms just fuckinsay whaya mean  Autism On the spectrum   WERE ALL ON THE SPECTRUM

NOT HARD TO RECOGNISE THA

So lets run down the comorbid letteraggregates

ADHD means Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

ODD means Oppositional Defiant Disorder

OCD means Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder a Golden Oldie

CD means not Certificate of Deposit Conduct Disorder 

                                                      Often ODD Oppositional Defiant Disorder and CD Conduct Disorder are expelled in the same breath They are different Oppositional Defiant Disorder involves problems with being controlled Conduct Disorder involves problems with being controlled and the need to exert control over others

somewhat reminiscent of career politicians

DMDD means Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

It kind of takes ones breath away going down rabbitholes where aint likely to find Bugs

   Neurowhaever

                   Perhaps we drop the labelsBLAME tha people have worked so hard so diligently so compulsively to create  an give a nod   accept were just human after all

HUMAN means How Unique Magnificent And Narrowminded

1006,  Sunday,  29  10. 23

https://www.washington.edu/doit/what-do-%E2%80%9Cneurodiverse%E2%80%9D-and-%E2%80%9Cneurodivergent%E2%80%9D-mean

Rag’n’Bone Man  Human  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wKzyIN1yk

I thinkNO  no I don   I believe hooks ought to be available an employed at eulogies

   Hooks?

            What are you talking about?

Sandman Sims

Asif that clarifies anything.

He was a tap dancer who used the hook on bad acts at the Apollo Theatre Harlem New York  Ya know wha a hook is

I believe I do.  

                Really?  At a funeral?

Damnright

            No stretch of the imagination

Hell Ive been to a wedding tha had bouncers at doorways to keep unwanted people out Thad exceeds obligations ushers groomsmen have  Lousy to return a tuxedo spattered with blood

In my experience too often clowns have gotten up an went on about themselves

                                                                                    Aint about them  An the drivel tha comes out of their mouthsAdios  Hook em

That’s pretty raw . .

. . Saves ya from cryin Horseshit  verbally disrupting a ceremony

                                                                     There   Then they aint

I don't know man, that’s pretty ruthless.

So be it

          Fuckin grandstanding at a eulogy  Ones there to praise the dead  Hooks better than wha Id prefer

What’s that?

Knockem out

               Maybe a few teeth too

1419,  Sunday,  27  8. 23

1808,  Saturday,  28  10. 23

Phoebe Bridgers  I Know the End  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQByi9IHiZo