19.5.20




Grandfather didnt suit him

his grandfather died of stomach cancer at the end of the Second World War

his other grandfather was killed in a brawl in a Cuban nightclub before Castro took Cuba
he met him could remember him

he was no grandfather either



humourously his granddaughter called him grandpoop

truth be known
                 considerably more accurate

growing up he met other kids grandparents grandfathers

they were proper gentlemen proper as Hell

he wasnt a proper child

there were adults to irritate

teachers to tempt

principals to scorn

kids to clobber

skirts to look up


he graduated high school

didnt apply to college

his birthday was pulled low in the Lottery

watched it on television

he won a hunredthirtythree dollars  

the pot was anted by guys who believed that life is just a joke

Right on Jimi

Thanks Bobby

he skipped the US for Canadahe had nothing against the Vietnamese

he couldnt tolerate the horseshit the politics the enormous money earned spilling blood

he liked Vancouver Vancouver Island more became a fisherman

when the slaughter was over

the US didnt pound its chest like King Kong

people had quit caring

he slipped his way to Neah Bay and worked crew on boats

then he worked his way to Frisco

east to Grass Valley

easter to Reno

hitchhiked to Vegas

shacked up with a showgirl

had a series of fantastic nights at the Stardust

fat seed money

frugally laboured his way more easter

crossed the flatlands of Nebraska

missed the Mississippi

worked in Illinois Indiana Ohio

doublebacked

found the Mississippi

worked the river to New Orleans in time for Mardi Gras

got knifed by an amateur

beat him senseless

took the knifehis wallet  his car

didnt expect a full tank of gas

siphoned his way to Miami

worked a boat to Saint Croix




his illegitimate daughter of some meanshe didnt ask found him there

her motherthe Vegas showgirl she said loved him

he remembered she loved her Kodak

she took more pictures of him than he ever knew

she actually listened to him when he spokewhen he talked about making a life in the Caribbean


he was colourful a character had personality as he would say

he was larger than life

but maybe the lives around him were just smaller more quiet   tamed timid

less loquacious or bombastic

or they didnt let people know how they actually felt  and thought


he wasnt interested in making pals



Grandpoop.

Whassup fart

                theyd get along just fine

0029,  Saturday,  4  1. 20
1106,  Twosday,  19  5. 20
Jimi Hendrix Experience  All Along the Watchtower  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLV4_xaYynY   



the clown in the center ring rambles on a Trump enemy statement Finally! he said something true finally  not to make too fine a point hes very old  hes almost dead

Hey shit-for-brains! Yesterday there were $90,694 death today $92,235 a difference of $1,541 lets not forget the White House econometric model by economist – hes not an epidemiologist or plays one of television – Kevin Hassett  who determined that as of May15 no one in America would die of coronavirus  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20MhT-fG1DI 

we need more room in Washington for the really big assholes who are wallowing like greased behemoths in the Halls of Power
       give em an overdose of diuretics and Bisacodyl laxatives so they can piss and shit themselves and a slop bucket and mop to clean up

1733,  Twosday,  19  5. 20



Janice Gold  Coyotismo a fascinating word  she wrote I was a live seed planted by a woman/in another woman's womb./All things insatiable belong to me.


insatiable did not mean greed

insatiable devour experience 

personal enlightenment 

shackles fetters restraints slipped

knots noiselessly disentangled

metals rust becoming brittle and weakened snapping like fowl bones and broken  smile with relief

nothing or no one prefers to bind another unless a sadist

sadists arent forged like bracelets

sadly their sadism is provoked (provolked – proyolked)
                                                          and cloys building as a child would build a snowman a snowball rolled over and over and over again and growing larger and larger  accumulating

unless the process is interrupted (innerruptured) ruptured a rude finger stuck in the hole torn away tearing the fabric the hole made larger and larger

deflating

emptying

making inept and flaccid

a deflated toy balloon

a shriveled spent condom

withered


now inviolate



sadism violence  ought to be arrested


insatiable belongs to everyone

2320,  Friday,  3  1. 20
0938,  Twosday,  19  5. 20
Joy Division  Heart and Soul  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atXB3qQ5CPU 
Instincts that can still betray us, / A journey that leads to the sun, / Soulless and bent on destruction, / A struggle between right and wrong



already the third day of the new decade
                                           two expired48hrs a third begun hed slept 6 hrs  couldnt keep this up forever nor would he  nothing is forever 
                                    a romantic notion
romantising Never or Always theyre never what theyre thought to be  unless one is pleasing themselves  the perfect aligned Romance Rowomance




18 years ago his wife was stricken on New Years Day evening 

she died January 2

18 years

eighteen years



it was 6 years before he was able to take another woman in his arms 

it wouldnt have been a fair competition until he was able not to compare a woman against her to hold another woman up against his wife
                       how can one really compete with another who is dead


he dated

no bells rang beyond the initial attractionphysical attraction

then he met a woman who was impossible
                                           who seemed to have risen from the center of the earth like a near-perfect crystal-forged diamond
                        her mind forgedbody forged in a mindboggling alignment with his senses and sensibilities
a luminous gem

a brilliant len

a mirror in which they complimented each other as only reflections could
  

0100,  Friday,  3  1. 20
1504,  Monday,  18  5. 20