he saw it rising in her facedarkening
her featuresdimming her eyes a shade a
blind closing inside of her and outside
of her her body hyperventilating sucking air preparing to go under unsure if it
could possibly hold its breath long enoughlong enough to emerge from the
surface that was closing over her head
she looked into his eyes frightened
he held out his hand to her her
eyes turned fierce resentful she slapped his hand aside You miserable
cuntyou like to think you know what this is
I ought to die and leave you with the horror of not knowingWouldnt like
that would youNot that I was deadyoull go ongo ahead survive like you did
before but just so you wouldnt
knowcouldnt know definitively for
certain
he lifted his hand to her
again Take hold of my handlove
Hold your handIf I wont hold your
cock why would I hold your slimy hand
Take my hand Take my hand so you know Im hereI wont let
go I can be your rope Ill hold you
I wont let go
You miserable CUNT!
when things seem to make no sense
at all they make most sense
when she woke early the following
morningin the darkin their bed she
couldnt help wonder if it was the next morning or the morning following that what morning
he was holding her
he held her hand in hishis thumb
hooked and locked with hers her thumb was
lax extended
Hey
he spoke
he spoke
Are
you awakewaking up
I
think . . I think I am
Good morningbaby
Would you let go of meI have to
go to the bathroom
he lessened his gripthe steel
going out of his muscles faintly she
thought she heard a jail door lock release
he rolled off his side onto his
back
he didnt like to lay on his lefthe
had too many shoulder surgeries it stiffened up on him
there was swelling on his face
had she hit him againslammed the
back of her head into him
she acted like she didnt see
she had to pee
she closed the bathroom door turned
on the fan
she walked over to the window and
saw the handle of the Big Dipper still above the horizon
she turned to the sinkran the
cold water tapshe didnt brush her hair aside
she cupped her hand under the water and sippedguzzled thirstily from it
she stood upright
her hair dripped on her
t-shirthis t-shirt he had taken her out
of her clothes slipped his oversize t-shirt on her a pair of boxer over her
hips
she had to pee
the toilet seat was down
she never knew a time when he
hadnt put the toilet seat downnot ever
she peed long and hard
her sound covered her weeping and
sniffles
she put her hair into her mouth
to gag her from betraying her tears
it had been one more time
she realised itanother time on
top of anotheran another on top of another
she couldnt stop them
Maybe you cant stop them now but you know them now You didnt know them before Thatlove is progress
the beginning baby steps
Its not happening fast
enough
Hey
As a babe it took me two years to
walk All in due timein the time you
need All in the time that you need
This isnt magic
This isnt magic
What did he say what did he say that irritated her Yes He
absolutely bitched her she recalled Its the darkest just before the dawn
Can you refute that
she couldnt
she despisedshe hated his calm his
patience If he would just come
unhooked
I wontI cant I did
You remember she
did If I come undone once more theres no going backtheres no us
she remembered
she couldnt restrain him
she hadnt the strength he had
now
he could hold her fiercely gently
how did he find solace in when
things seem to make no sense at all they made most sense
how couldhow did he make sensesee
sense in her daft crazed her chaos
I love you maybe because I can see you objectively I know your hard lessons and fortunately for youan me Im a
quick study
You dont mean your violence Your violence is a reaction of your
confusionyour stressit makes perfect sense
Curiously Ive learned to turn my cheek
Thats funny she said Cant imagine you finding Gawd
I havent Im repurposing quotes Im damn sure they stole them from someone
else Im tweaking them to serve my purpose And you are my purpose
Its darkest before the dawn
When things seem to make no sense
at all they made the most sense
she shook her head she was either in love with someone
who had their shit together or who was a
saint
she kept that to herself
1432, Friday, 29 9.
17
0137,
Saturday, 30 9. 17
Three Dog Night Circle for a Landing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiYEYL5aWpU
