shit like this killed himtwisted his nuts

    quote  Qiaochi Yuan currently a ML/AI Infra engineer

                                                          . . . as a senior in college . . . I had not thought, ever, about who I was, what I wanted, what was important to me, what my values were, what was worth doing. trying to be fair  super intelligent  his plate might have been filledheaped  was unable to see the forest for the trees

he concurred with Mr Yuan  

                                . . . I was an empty husk waiting to be filled by something

                                                                                                although

hed have stuffed himserved him for Thanksgiving dinner if there was an oven large enough                                                                                                                                                and appetite

and white paper chops frills over his ankles wrists  the blunt stump of his neck

    probably would have had to carve him in the kitchen out of sight

 

a senior in college

as a nine year old he knew who he was what he wanted what important what his values were what was worth doing

                    precocious

he didnt think so

                   what he knew was that he was alive and what he deemed important wouldnt be determined curated by anyone other than himself

                                                        SELFISH

call him that he wouldnt be offended

                                        Gawddamn right

he wasnt a trick pony

wasnt going to placate his parents teachers  authorities

was pleasing himself

                         an fuckya if it occurred to you otherwise

hed bring down the menschs shuffling around him

male

female

    Qiaochi Yuan  a mensch    senior in college

                                                           howd he get that far

1352,  Saturday,  29  8. 26

1854,  Thursday,  3  9. 26

he stumbled onto Gorges de l'Ardèche  limestone caves in France  haven for possibly the last of the Neanderthals

 

she twisted her hair with her finger

                                       You’re not going to let it go?

Im the only one who is conscientious about it

    Conscientious.

                         Obsessed?

Conscientious

                   I believe eventually it will be proven

The first holocaust. Genocide.

Extermination

Homo sapiens sapiens

                            We be mighty good at murder

The more the merrier

You’re difficult to talk to.

Yet you talk

Once you shut your mouth then open it between my legs I’ve got good reason.

Aww  yasay the sweetest things

And you’re at your best when you mumble unintelligibly.

 

    Like a Neanderthal

she laughed

Don laugh

              Theyre believed to have resorted to cannibalism

she laughed

                 Must suppose proof is in the pudding.

Oi

1828,  Thursday,  27  8. 26

1205,  Thursday,  3  9. 26

Neanderthals -- karst  https://hal.science/hal-04159486/

Neanderthal extinction  https://europe.factsanddetails.com/article/entry-63.html 

no sooner than she spoke he Yupped

                                         Kara  Me toono hashtag

he was always mixing it up offputting

                                          offpuddin   Butterscotch  Tapioca  Rice

WOWed dates when he fed them pudding for dessert

                                                          didnt actually feed them

hed strip the bedstart washing the sheets while remaking the it with fresh crisp ones

 

Kara said indiscreet

hed been called lots of things but couldnt remember if he was called that

                                                                            called his best friend in Washington

Its late I apologise

No sweat. I never call you so the least I can do is answer my phone when I’m close to it.

                                                                                                                    alluding to all the unanswered calls texts emails

                                                                                                                 no apologises needed buddy was married

I appreciate you answeringgot a question wont takeup your time   It is late

Please, have at it.

Indiscreet

                  Ya think Im indiscreet

Can I answer with a question, it’s your dime.

Of course  Ya don even have to ask

Do you think you’re indiscreet?

I am

Worried about confirmation bias?

Two questions  Youre funny

Im not biased  I know

Yes.

 

I got me another adjective

You do.

             I would have thought that would have occurred to you sooner.

Maybe it had but got lost in the mix

                                        Im accused of a lot of things

Accused?

    Donya think

You’re not accused.  You are.

I love tha about you man  Straight shooter

I’ll take that as a compliment, although, nobody shoots straighter or quicker than you.

Probably why were friends

Truth hurts. 

 

    Is this where I ought to say  ouch

heard his wife Who’s that?

I’m going to bed. I love you too. G’night.

                                         hung up before he had a chance to say a word

 

2011,  Wednesday,  2  9. 26

1100,  Thursday,  3  9. 26

Bunny Boiler  https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7p3a0IJozAU

Fatal Attraction  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkO2m4fwZo

PIVOT  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WfzuwKITb4

You’re in rare form.

Au contraire  Im formless

Formless?   How do you mean?

Untethered

Groping

Last we spoke I made some notes . .

. . As you always do, red BIC, clipboard, paper, if you showed up and didn’t have them I’d assume you were an impersonator, not the real McCoy.

Thank you I appreciate the observation

                                                    Whawoud befall the impersonator

Probably nothing.

                      Likely he’d be more congenial, less argumentative, less contrary, which often I think you are just to stir the pot.

Lemme put your mind at ease

                                     Im not ever contrary

I’d probably enjoy the stranger.

Ya probably woud

                        Can imagine it must suck to be you     A lot

Funny.

              Formless?

Saw I noted whore slut gash Madonna   Daddy – Help me

I remember a little of that conversation. You were going off certainly humoring the hell out of yourself.

Remember the Keebler elf Ernie

I do, but not in the sense you said.

You recall

                Usually youre desperate to recall

You were awfully descriptive and troubled trying to relate through your laughter.

I was seeing it

You were.

            You definitely were.

Im listening

The really fat girl, Ernie struggling, stymied, it occurred to himJesus.

Jah

Ernie goes to his tree, returns with a sack of flour, dusts her, fucks the wet spo . .

. . Bingoya remembered

                                   Rare

 

    Thanks for helping me coalesce  aggregate   

Thursday afternoon,  27  8. 26

1001,  Thursday,  3  9. 26