she answered

he thought she might not

his mother knew what she liked and she wasnt hip on Patricia

Hello.

Hiya  Youre pretty noncommittal

                                    This is Joe my Maw said Id call Patricia

I don’t go by Patricia.

Then you should say She told me Patricia

What else did she tell you?

She said your mother said youd seen me out somewhere an wondered who I was Mothers talk

They talk a bluestreak.

I understand they know each other from AA

notPatricia burst out laughing

                                Wouldn’t that be the shit? You’re funny.

You can take a mother joke

I can, I’m not touchy.

Youre also not Patricia

No.

So

    I woudnt think Tricia either

Oh God no.

            I go by Trixx.

Like the cereal not I C K I X

Actually I X X.

I like that

           Interested in meeting somewhere You name the place

You’re not going to press me, pick me up at my house?

I woudnt pick a trick up at her house

   How did you spell that?

Meet me an Ill tell ya

they met hit it off  had a three casual datesgave each other room

sixth it was the sixthNO  seventh date

                                             they related

afterwards he called her Trixxx

                                   was their inside joke

his mother wasnt hip

b4 7,  Reggaefriday,  29  9. 23

1659,  Saturday,  14  10. 23

routine aint a bad thing

he recognised it was a mainstaycritical to him

                                                 not that he didnt mind occasional changeups

however he recognised he was an introvert

enjoyed his own company

                            but

he could be performative

be extroverted

What do you mean performative?

Youre a big boy you get it

                            I didnt enjoy it enough to become an actor but I could play a part 

So you really prefer being on your own?

Youre still living at home

   Home. What do you mean?

Youve livedexcept for college within twenty miles of where you were born

                                                                              Family  Friends

It took me twenty years to escape

Do you really mean escape?

I do

       The last ten were toughest because I knew I meant escape

I was given three tremendous opportunities  I didnt even have to think about em despite them being gold But any meant I would have to stay

You could have made your gold and then left.

I would have been older Coudnt woudnt sell my youth  An had I I woud have established a routine which woud have been agonising to break

                            Good to know thabout ones self

Well, if you weren’t here I’d call bullshit.

Routine

Ruetine

Rudetine

Ruttine

         Rut

Ive never – an I dislike the word – never felt Ive been in a rut

                                                                 Had I stayed home I woud have been

0900,  Reggaefriday,  29  9. 23

1357,  Saturday,  14  10. 23

Tower of Power  So Very Hard to Go  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbyKxiVvpaE

   oaths

         he tended to swingwide of such organisations

he humourously continuously recalls Groucho Marx

                                                      I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

secondplace Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

he did pledge Allegiance to the United States of America

                                                           and for that the United States would have to endure his probing and questions and demand of evidence

he didnt jump through hoops until he was convinced

that was no small task

   he was reading The Free World: Art and Thought in the Cold War Cold War, what’s that? by Louis Menand  page 192 first paragraph

                 In 1953, GAP (Group for the Advancement of Psychiatry) under the leadership of William Menninger was charged – didnt say who – to discuss the psychological effects of loyalty oaths seemed redundant to him they determined “(they were) only one manifestation in a growing general trend towards enforcement of conformity of thinking and acting.” “Loyalty oaths cause psychological damage: they endangered the development of the ego by restricting access to ‘the object world,’ distort the development of a ‘workable super-ego’ by ‘emphasizing the external threat at the expense of self-responsibility,’ and threaten ‘the ego-ideal’ appropriate to a free and democratic society by introducing increasingly contradictory ideals and depreciating the image and model value of the teacher.’”

made perfect sense to him Yeah right, what’s an ego? Never you mind   questioners ripe for an oath

late Sunday night,  1  10. 23

1158,  Saturday,  14  10. 23

Cat Stevens  Longer Boats  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRC8lqtBXCA

On the Road to Find Out  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocu7XObxRZ8

   a good book  not "the" good book   theres a difference

it began abruptlyhed arrived late

                                  stopped  to pickup a dead squirrel off the road one eye popped but not out of its socket blood coming out of an ear  not crushed or exploded he carried it to a grassy culvert at the roads edge There you go he said as he gently laid it down covered it with a handfuls of fallen red yellowcoloured leaves

                                                                                               STOP Theyre squirrels

Squirrelly

           Whadoncha understand

I’ll slow down but I’m stopping.  said the host

   he turned to face him squarely Why

Why? Simple. I have places to be.

Places

        Youre not pressed to be anywhere yabeen retired whanow five  or is it six years

That makes no matter.

   Matter 

           Youll have to explain why yacant wait a minutethe fuck Ive stopped for a goodsized leaf on the road trembled by breeze  which ought to indicate that I slowed stopped well short of it Id just rounded a corner

Despite this enclave being remote the road is residential the law is twentyfive miles an hour Aint supposed to be a race track

People have places to be.

Lets not do your Worlds spokesman thing Im talkin to you Im not addressing your neighbourscant do a gawddamn thing bout their ignorance but I can try to coursecorrect yours

Anywhere you have to be isnt urgent truly significant  life or death

I don’t care. I’m not stopping for a squirrel.

   No

No.

Well  evidently when it comes to this yare piece of shit  If you thought I antagonised you before hold onto your cap Anwhen we argue you better bring your A–game because I  aint   stopping

the others at the impromptu gathering shifted uneasily in their brilliantcoloured red yellow green moldedplastic chairs which were enhanced by the flickeringblues in the poolwater  a couple cleared their throats  but nothing more

he was standing he always stood at this type of event

                                                        Antha goes for the rest of you

Maybe pretend the squirrel in the road is a child Theres no one here needed urgently anywhere  Thas why yare here in the middle of an afternoon on a weekday

1600ish,  Reggaefriday,  6  10. 23

1004,  Saturday,  14  10. 23

the nature of religion foments hatred 

   Hamas attacked he couldnt agree that it was unprovoked  Israel

the words as he listened to reliable news commentators to witnesses

atrocities

brutality

savagery

horror

depravity

inhumanity

siege

he wondered if people kept in mind those words described the actors who perpetrated them  that those individuals do not makeup all the people of Gaza  the Palestinians

he crossed his fingers that Israel would respond proportionally

“If I sit silently, I have sinned.”  Mohammad Mossadegh

1712,  Thursday,  12  10. 23

1029, Saturday,  14  10. 23

https://www.npr.org/2019/01/31/690363402/how-the-cia-overthrew-irans-democracy-in-four-days