there was something floating above him
that tried to present itselfherself as he laid in his hot ritual bath which
he announced unashamedly
speaking of it raised eyebrows
he was white
what rituals did white men have
white men
not
priests or uttered prayers
what rituals
his brethren the best he could
assesshad assessed hadnt rituals
as sparkly white as they were they had
no need of rituals nothing pejorative could be staked on them
and they wanted to keep it that way
by
force if they must(?)
zero tolerance and broken windows
by any while way or convention they deemed or discerned and held onto
for dear life
their niggling fear was payback blowback of retribution scrawled in colourful graffiti with a big R
the white fear calculated in their
imaginations-squared of being on the
other end of a fire hose nightstick provoking violence against them by raising-their-hands-to-protect-their-heads
or being unarmed and on the other end of several handguns or authority or beat-nearly-senseless
and on their knees staring up dully at a dangling rope and noose thrown over a bare tree limb Voices and in their nostrils the hideous smell of tar coal oil cheap
whisky and a burning torch
how they were inspired by those horrid images
(OHSHIT he forgot the dogs he forgot the dogstheir snapping
bone-crushing jaws the hot slobbered
spit lashed and clinging to their pant legs and shirt sleeves forgot they were yanked off their feet to the
ground under obsessed shepherds at the bidding of a hobbled cop quick with
their Sic commands service revolvers and scattering kibble as reward
How did he forget that)
he-she came in through the bathroom window
and laid suspended directed over
him with careful eyes
a
godgoddess pre-op trans juicedlong-time with hormones and augmented hanging a meter
and a half over him as he laid in the lavender-tinctured Epsom-salted hot bathtub
healing mesmerised hallucinating informed his whiteness wasnt fixed it
was darker and they were unable to bleach it out because he didnt buy-in didnt
swallow the pap of their propaganda or the allure the pedagogy sold in suburban
schoolyards or on their adjacent corners under leafy shade trees on clipped green lawns
it was keen to realise he was
being watched over as he recovered
he detested his diminished state his
puny reflection his weight down
it was hard to
look at himself in a mirror
but looking he saw his eyes were vital
he
thought embers for tribal firekeepersTribal
white men didnt think that way
didnt think forward seven generations
in their Im-gonna-get-mine(and yours) reality
Old White Men
he couldnt say he was going to miss them
they werent missing him now
1035, Sunday,
21 8. 16
1249, Monday,
22 8. 16
