it was awkward
the morning odd
their postures
switched
up
she sipped her usual morning
French Press to a selection of music shed thrown on the morning before
and
while they usually sat side by side on the sofa conversing pleasantly
in their early waking fog
this
morning he was sprawled broken at the
shoulders
a heating pad in the small of his back the
reek of liniment haze over the top of his black coffee
oily reflecting his pained expression
the weekend prior he played yoga with
his daughter he conceded to try it kundalini yoga
Spine
of Fire
its preceded by a coldshower
but he nixed it
-- Up at fourthirty
Im committed or ought to be
she cut him some slack
though she
showered
her skin was
still cool to his embrace when she came out to initiate him to its rites and poses
-- Three minutes a pose
she
cautioned him
-- Christ
I
cant even be a soft-boiled egg
Im
raw
No wonder theres no daguerreotypes
of me as my earlier self
-- Or else
youre one of
those people whose face is blurred
-- Thanks honey
Still obscure after all these years
All these years of seeing is
believing
til photoshop
-- HA
Perhaps your destiny
-- Yup
Staid
Doggedly fulfilling my task
-- A better dog couldnt have been chosen
-- You are definitely my daughter
he heard of kundalini years
earlier in Miami
had made a couple of grrls there
who were enthusiasts
who shared in raucous stoned laughter when he remarked he felt he had
fallen into den of consorts agile practitioners
it was by this heady experience he
assayed kundalini the handsome altar of what should be feminine dominance
for their
fitness and meditation
he described it as feline though pronounced it felioness
she followed him(not knowing the
story but hers if she asked) as anyone would who was intimate with him
they
knew he constantly gimmicked the language and renamed things
then
stuck by those christenings
his daughter was competent
practised an excellent kundalini
performer and with her invitation he devised at the get-go
despite his athletic competitiveness he wasnt going to try and keep up with her
she offered while on the descending tack of a forty-day sādhanā
forty-days
wasnt the makings of a sādhanā to him
it
was an ordeal(anything running in excess of a week was an ordeal Hell
his New Orleans drunk and drug binge lasted only the Mardi Gras)
she
was patient and encouraging
she lit three beeswax candles smudged the mats the air them with sweetgrass and white sage
her
explanations made the sādhanā very accessible but his
body resisted every exercise
his breathing its
cadence was horrible
he
reminded her unlike her his body was wound terrible tight
he
preferred iron
her Spine of Fire at its end
inflamed
him
his lower back felt as if it bulged like a sausage
against the driverseat back during the four hour ride home
he
almost didnt make it out of the car
-- Youre French Press alright
-- Yes
Thank you You shouldntve Your back
-- Get while the goings good . . .
-- You always say
-- Yes I do
Cuz
this is what it looks like when I concede
-- Not a picture of health
-- Dont rub it in
their
conversation then ran its usual delightful gamut of the interesting to the inane informing
revealing thoughtful rants arguments(debates
he said) and raw untested disgorgements
-- Fickled
Its a trait I relish in people
Particularly women
I find it attractive
and maddening
-- Are you saying Im fickled
-- Are you kiddin me
Are you tryin to say youre not fickled
-- And youre not
-- I love how this conversation has progressed via a circuit of unanswered questions
There must be some kind of psychic or psychological testament were providing
answering a question with another question
Lemme be the first to step into this foray stand Freud or whomever on his or her skinny hibrow neck and answer
a direct question
Fickled
Yes
Ive no qualms admittin Im fickled
-- And you know Im fickled too
-- I do Though thats not an admission
-- I am
-- Thank you
I
tickle your fickle and your fickle tickles me
-- I
she smiled
couldnt have said it better
-- Concedin an accedin
Two-headed coin
Thats
why we work so well together
-- We do dont we
-- Always with the questions
always with the questions
Ive got a question
-- Youre teasing
-- I am
-- Feeling any better
-- I am knot
-- Youre humoring me
K N O T
K N O T
-- Yes you know me so well
I
know youd know
(thinking : even
if she didnt consciously shed know it at some spooky psychic or subatomic nano-level
of knowing obliquely ingratiating like metal filings shaken onto white linen
paper aligning themselves pointing
with the subtle magnetic field applied unseen under paper)
1923, Thursday,
14 5. 15
2244, Friday, 15 5. 15
2244, Friday, 15 5. 15
