she sighedrolled dipped swished her hips 

it felt good if he was lyin hed be dyin

All you need handsome . . is a little motivation.

Only a little

Umm . . maybe just a little more.  a deeper swishgrind

Weve only just met

she smiled over her shoulder into his face Yes doll.

   Awbaby you havent any idea what yare talkinbout

that really rocked herpissed her off gyrations halted 

                                                        she was a life coach  she had told him

I think I know somethingfrankly . . I know a lot about motivation.

If you do woudntya say I believe I know  Not think you know

                                                                    Ya don know me

I’ve assessed you.

Asized  Youve asized me up I can believe it

                                                If you thought thars gold in dese hills youd be wrong

starting to get up off his lap You need help.

hooking her hips with his fingers he pulled her back downwhispered harshly Seems we all can use a little help

You included   cleared his throat  But there are those who are genuinely more needy  Theyre willing to pay for a friend

How dare you.

harsh How dare you  

                      You came onto me sat on my lap 

her face went hardshe glared

   I believe the motivation you think I lack or need is something I refer to as emotion  I emotivate if you rather  Emotivation  If you think itll serve your purpose yare welcome to it

                                                                      No charge  On the house   Off my lap

she stood

she looked likeNO

                    she slapped his face

How dare you.

he didnt rub his cheek

                         If you knew me youd have known Im daring

1950,  day-between-2-Ts,  8  11. 23

432preferred,  Saturday,  11  11. 23

Talking Heads  Psycho Killer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eauZzwt8Ci8 

“. . . an alchemical mix of wonder and fear.

                                              It may seem as if those emotions would cancel each other out, but the opposite is true. When you add them together you get the sublime, which transcend them both. ‘The passion caused by the great and sublime in nature . . . is Astonishment,’ wrote the eighteenth-century philosopher Edmund Burke, ‘and astonishment is the state of the soul in which all its motion are suspended, with some degree of horror.’  But, he added, it was ‘a sort of delightful horror.’”

                                       Prologue pg2  Susan Casey  The Underworld

wonder and fear

alchemy

           he had to wonder when he fearedwhat he feared

seemed since he conquered the pitchblack terror of his bricked basement as a boylucky he didnt break his neck rushing blind headlong through itslamming into things tripping hitting the concrete floorUP hitting the pinepaneled wallGO RIGHT scrambleup the uncoded staircase to the short doorway swinging it open out into the hallGO RIGHT through the entry onto the front porchfour stairs down which he usually leaped land on the front walk roll onto the lawn

                                                                                                                  its leaves like tendrils embracing himsaving him from whatever it was he fled

since then

             he wondered  what

   which at times makes him think that he died and this life he was leading was an imagination his ghost madeup and would continue makingup until it or he got tired of living

                                                                   at  times

afternoon,  day-between-2-Ts,  8  11. 23

1531,  Saturday – Veterans Day,  11  11. 23

he wokeup this morning remembering

not remembering a littlenot scraps bits pieces remembering everything  anything

remember vividly  

remember the smallest things

he remembered what he forgot

                                     the remembering painted his eyes with tears that wetted reconstituted magnified his memories anhe thought  this is how things came apart  he got caughtupsweptaway in vile moments terrible agitations dust an pollen shakenfree peppering salting copiously dusting over layering over concealing hiding   what  if he had pausedtook a moment  the things he could have recalled shared  could have broken the arms legs and necks of those harsh agitations                                                                         

Do you remember . . .

Remember when . . .

                           if only he paused  been able to be at one remove

this morning was not regret

                              there was so muchtoo much beauty

he was fortunate

this morning gently taught him that when things veer go askew he looked askance  to vividly bring a memory forward an share it

             as they can easily  subtly    be submerged       

0855,  Saturday – Veterans Day,  11  11. 23

reminiscent of Neil Young  Love in Mind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp0URt_o0YU