14.8.14



1333,  Thursday,  14  8. 14


My grrlfriend just interrupted me to share that Robin Williams’ widow made public that 
he hung himself 
Susan Schneider also said that he was suffering the onset of Parkinson’s disease

to those who have accused Robin Williams of cowardice 
accused him that he had no right to commit suicide
they ought to consider (however unlikely that might be) :

                                                                                  Our life is the only thing we truly have    
              and it is ours to do with as we choose
 


Jesus Christ committed suicide for Our Sins



Harried

he hated begin harried
but then
if she hadnt slipped into his shower before work
                                                                                slipped  --  probably not the correct nomenclature  --  he snatched her out of bed as she stretched naked on their twisted 
bedsheets
but she looked too good to leave lying around
even if it was his own bed

and for all that mornings slippings
                                                                                     he Now  was running late

and the traffic  Christ  was heavier than he ever expected
and that was a horrible statement to make  of The Kings Highway in rural California
                                                                                                but it was



while he dressed she made coffee
--   You didnt shave
--   Time  If Im too shabby Ill return after the appointment before heading into work
--   Youre lucky  I dig your woolly look
he let her catch his expression reflected in the bedroom dressing mirror
Oh you
and yanked the bedsheet up covering her naked belly
Youre going to be late
--   Kiss me and Im gone
--   Your coffee
--   Thank you  Now kiss me baby



he was five minutes late

but he thought  Kiss my ass When is a doctor ever on time Somebody do their fuckin job

signing in he was reminded he was late
--   So the doctor will see me now

all he got in response was that curt thats-a-stupid-question eyeroll
--   No  Then good morning to you
it was like torturing an anthill with a magnifying glass
--   I got coffee in the car  Interested
--   I had my coffee
--   Id guess not recently

nothing

anthills

--   I suppose this is where you say  Take a seat

--   Please take a seat



he laughed to himself  Christ  Harried for nothing

but he had his bag with him
so even if they wanted to stonewall him for hours  he had hours and hours of things to 
do or read or write to fill his time
                                                                                      
he mentioned to those who knew him
--   We aint called Patients without good reason
 
So go right ahead healthcare professionals  Take your best shot



--   Mr Stanley  The doctor will see you now

Not bad
Fifty minutes later
Wha . . .  really only fortyfive minutes late
his five minutes paled in comparison
the Doc was nine times later than he was
or 
nine hundred percent later than him 
 
he recognized his math skills improved every time he visited a doctor


nevertheless
he wasnt buying it
even as he put away the letter he was writing - taking his sweet time - and rose to 
follow the nurse back

the protocol was inevitable
some smart ass somewhere was struck by a lightningbolt
and someone above him pet his nose stroked his mane and fed him a sugar cube   
Genius
he remembered when a genius was an Edison Wright Einstein Ford or Hefner
the least the genius could have done was insist that the leading was led by a nurse 
with a sweet heartshaped ass
he didnt have any idea what women would follow back


his nurse
deposited him in an antechamber
outside the actual examination rooms

--   So maybe you do get the tortured anthill bit  huh
--   Excuse me  his nurse replied
--   No  Nothing  Talking to myself  Thank you
--   Well be for you directly

Directly might be an improvement on Soon

--   Thank you


and the nurse left him to his own devises
which could prove to be dangerous if they gave him enough rope
he might hang the entire clinic with it


another nurse approached him directly
by the long black hand on the industrial clock itd only been eight minutes

--   Mr. Stanley

--   Directly  I love it

--   Excuse me

--   You were Direct not Soon

--   Im confused

--   What kind of a name is that
he stood up from his coloured plasticshell chair
Family misfortune

--   Im confused

--   You said  Im Stanley  Youre looking for me
it was times like these he needed his girlfriend to remind him he was either a step 
ahead or people were just slow to a joke
And youre Confused  Correct

--   I am



with their pleasantries complete
he followed Confused  --  there was no escaping it now  hed scanned her chest and she 
wasnt wearing a nameplate  --  into an examining room

she did things rote

on the scale  weight  height  scribble
--   Any recent difficulties ER visits or immediate concerns changes in medications
 
--   None

scribble 
she opened a laptop at the station leveraged off the wall beneath a cubby of shelves 
enclosed in glass housing sundry medical supplies
--   Well take your blood pressure and temperature Mr Stanley

--   Correct Confused

she knitted her brow as she slipped her stethoscope into her ears
she pumped the blood pressure bladder in her hand  the column of mercury rose  150   
she turned the slender spigot to release its air pressure  the mercury began slipping 
down  a gentle pulsate showed  slipping  pulse  slipping  pulse  and then her breath 
slipped out her mouth as she recorded his systolic diastolic numbers
--   Very good  114 over 71

Fortythree

she slipped a thermometer in his mouth
--   Under your tongue

gosh  he missed the old rectal thermometer  --  Thatll wreck ya  --  he often joked about 
giving it orally many times by mistake  forgetting the cherry red  --  how appropriate  --   
colouring indicating it a rectal thermometer
and how he bitched that someone has really missed the boat
maybe some other sugar cube boy Genius
how they could have enjoyed and profited by a resurgent market if only rectals were 
reconfigured with ribs and improved girth  --  which  typically  fell on deaf and 
unamused ears  --  why hamstring humor by taking medicine out of it
there was so very very much materiel to work with

--   98.6 degrees  And a pulse of 58

Fortypointsix


--   Youre quite the specium arent you

--   I try my best


--   Was there anything specific youd like to discuss with the doctor when she enters

--   Yes  That miserable medicine Im encouraged prescribed to take  I think Im beyond it 
Its a waste of money

--   Okay
she scoured the only medicine listed on his chart
This is the only medication you take

--   Correct  Confused


Knit her brows
She still aint going to ask

--   And you take this medication at what time

--   Eightthirty Nine  Mornings

scribble
--   Ill be sure to mention it to the doctor


she rose placed the chart on the leanto beside him
--   The doctor will be in shortly
--   Not directly  Or soon
--   Im confused
--   Youve said
she furrowed her brow again
--   I hope youll have a beautiful day  Good bye
--   Thank you  I hope for you the same  Good bye



the door closed behind her
she wasnt either
in spite of the fact that the genius could have insisted upon heartshaped asses

he was after all the Genius


he let his chart lay for a moment longer

he was savoring



the deliciousness of every bit of life was in savoring it  anticipating it 
all the Acts
in its Play
relishing their distinct  individual  moments
that were unlikely
to ever occur again

far too many people stumble through life
simply not recognizing its sensational pinpoint moments   so very very remarkable  poignant                                                                                                                        
theyre like bulls in a chinashop
smashing as they go
missing its utter nearly indescribableness 
crowding dejectedly around them
glaring them in the face



he sighed
hed waited long enough

the doctor would be in Shortly
not Directly or Soon

he smiled
he was almost unable to bear the wait to share this with his girlfriend
he was definitely going home to shave



he took the edge of the clipboard his chart was fastened to and walked it with his 
fingertips onto his palm
he purposely wasnt looking   just       yet

it was unbearable
he wanted to cum


the doctor arrived sooner than she meant
she responded to the flurry of nurses in the hall outside his examination room as they 
had gathered
befuddled
listening to him laughing aloud inside


--   Mr Stanley

he looked up at her and brushed a tear from his smiling eye
--   Oh yes  Sorry  I was suddenly tickled  I couldnt resist myself  Sorry

the only clue 
not that the doctor could have realised it
was that his chart
was slightly askew on the leanto


Confused wrote that he took his medication in the morning at 8:39



begun Sunday,  10  8. 14
bulk done Monday  --  11  8. 14  --  the day Robin Williams died
   1416,  Twosday,  12  8. 14