coming into the hallway from out
of his bedroom he felt her presence
he stopped not a step into the hall
and looked right
she stood framed in her bedroom doorway
she was a bit taller than the
doorknob
she stood centered in it asif the
jambs were toxic
her armshands hung before her
she held them towards each other
but they did not touch
she stood like a supplicant
which was eerie
that wasnt herwouldnt ever be her shed go to Hell before supplicating to anyone
for anything
Whasup baby
I think I lost it, Dad, you told
me to be careful, and I think I lost it.
confessions good for the soul but he didnt think he had qualifications to listen it wasnt on his Dad List anhe read it over and over again to assure
himself hed be a good fatherthe best he could possibly be
he
wanted to be a good father
she was his
first child
he turned up the hall towards her she
wasnt as tall as the doorknob Wha is it that yathink youve lost love
You told me to be careful with
it, now I can’t find it.
Wha is it sweetpea I can
help you look for it
I’ve been looking for it since
after breakfast.
Oh I thought you were cleaning your room
Sorta, I guess, while I looked
for it.
Please for wha
he shouldntve pressed it occurred to him only after it came out of
his mouth and he saw how his words racked hermade her unstable her spine unlocking unhinged
he
made it to her before she went to pieces
Therethere little girl he wrapped his arms around her something between a cast holding a broken bone
or a tourniquet to stop her from hemorrhaging It will be okay love It is okay
she sobbed
he heard his wife getting up from
her sewing in the livingroom
he anticipated when shed enter
the hall behind him and briefly waved her off then reclasped his daughter to
him again
he saw his other daughterthree
years younger than her sister sitting on her portion of their trundle bed
her eyes were
big thats sayin something her eyes were huge to begin with
he smiled at her to assure her that everything was going to be okay
tears welled in her eyes
his smile directed at her helped
her to wipe them away with the sleeves of her blouse and smile a little broken
smile
the stitch
she lost the long singlefilament
stitch the doctor pulled out of his incision after healing from a shoulder tendon
surgery
she was curious in the doctors
office
they all went in . .the four of
themhis wife and girls the doctor was cool
the doctor explained that he had
healed wellfurthur ahead of other patients time to remove the stitch
his wife stoodwent to take the
girls with her from the room
he chided Yare like rats fleeing a sinking ship . . I didnt know until now that
rats can swim
he smiledwanting her to know he was teasing
his daughter didnt want to leave
his youngest was at her mothers
hip with the motionsway in her stepswinging in her arms Get the hell out of my way!
Sticking with me baby he said to her
I’m sticking with you, Dad. she scrambled up onto his lap and sat
still shed have the best seat in the house
Thas my girl
the doctor laid out a prepared tray
of sterilised tools
he liked that the
mat was babyblue comforting
Aniela eyes grew wideshe
eyeballed him searched his face to try
and gauge his discomfort
he wasnt uncomfortable if there was to be any pain itd be good pain
the doctor snipped the knot at
the top of the incision and then grasp the other knot near his elbow with a
hemostat
You set? he asked
Yaset Yeller
I am, Dad.
Were set doc
the doctor placed a gloved hand
on his shoulder Then we’re off . . and
in one long deliberate pull he extracted it
he felt a persistent tug flipswitch
back and forthback and forth down the length of the wound
an interestinqueer pain not
that Aniela would ever kmow
There you go. the doctor said he went to toss the filamentstitch in the
trash
Aniela spoke to him with her eyes
fixed him
Doc
Yes?
Well take the stitch to-go ifya donmind
The stitch?
Thats why they call ya doc aint
it always ahead of the game Anielad
definitely like the stitch please
they dug around together looking
for the fiilament in the girls bedroom
no luck
Did you put it your
underwear drawer
My underwear drawer?
If Maw doesnt want to lose
something she puts it in her underwear drawer I keep my tacky lil pamphlets in my bottom drawer
later his wife asked Really? Really? Of course he confirmed Jesus, Joe.
No, Mom didn’t tell me.
Awright then Im tellin ya both if we don find the stitch youll likely remember into the future
never did find the filamentstitch
but then neither
girl ever misplaced something that meant something to them
0937, Sunday – Aniela’s birthday – 25 4. 21
1644, Sunday – Aniela’s birthday, 25 4.
21
