27.9.20

 

seven months to the day a day forever etched in his brain and eyes one moment etched  held in suspension that he could pluck out of thin air open it again and againunfold it like a supple origamifolded in flesh able to revisit it asif it was happening 
              how many days twohundedthirteen 
how many tears

how many damning words falling on deaf ears

how many prayers people said they were saying

how many drinks
                 how many people he would rather have died  some who deserved itshould die  other than her

he could hear her 
                 he could hear his wifehis sister his motherhis motherinlaw tell him that he didnt mean thatdidnt mean it truly and honestly  mean that someone else die

NO  SHADDUP 
                 I mean it                                                                                                     

they his loves  were dead

 

 

he truly and honestly meant he would have happily died in her stead

2014,  Saturday,  26  8. 20
1123,  Sunday,  27  9. 20



Whas wid the crazy tattoo man  Thought we had a conversation we werent into tats

embarrassed  We did.

We did  Whachanged

Anastasia.

Anastasia
                Not much of an answer

I mentioned was dating her.

You mentioned you seeing someone but you didnt tell me her namenot that you have to say Threefour months backyah

Yes. Just about four months; Anastasia was who I was seeing, am seeing. 

he pondered his response a heartbeat 
                                         Is this tat about her
he cringed

Youre cringing mancringing about a four month relationship thats had you toss something you had maintained wasnt possible  
         Though you didnt say Never

Anastasia . . is . . . compelling.

So compelling you crossed yourself

You wouldn’t understand.

A fuckin assumption  I havent known you to assume anything before


Don’t pick on . .  
. . Dont 
         Fill me in Im callin a spade a spade Weve known each other fourfive yearsneither of us is a pushover  Wha gives

What gives?

he didnt have to spin his Rolodex  
                                    Its evident sorry man  Pussys aplenty  It shes got you hoppingot you jumpin through hoops A tattoo when you havent ever had a good thing to say about one artful or not they turned you off  Now youre wearing a garish floral tattoo  I dont follow

tendrils vines leafy delicate ivy wisteria ran off the tattoo over his heart wound about his chest over his shoulders across his back growing downgrowing up crawling across his throat  

Theme tats cant be cheap 


I did only the one. he put his hand on his heart I did it to make her happy, she asked me to, damn near begged me to, she’s an artist. What’s over my heart is her work. 
                                                    The others, man, the other aspects have grown . . all by themselves.
Thats nuts

I’m telling you. 
                 By themselves.

he was incredulous Over how long

A week, a week, they’re like weeds. 
                                       I wake every morning and they’ve grown more, like a mind of their ow . . 
. . You talk with Anastasiatalk to her

She’s, ah . . she’s . had to go out of town, family, family emergency.

his turn to cringe 
                 Before or after

What do you mean?
Before your tattoos began growing  or after

Jesus. 
       Just before.

Is she talking to you

No.

Wheres she fromgrow up here

No. Russian, Russia.

Rural Russia

What do you mean?

Cosmopolitan  Moscow Saint Petersburg City city or rural

She said a small town.

A small town  Shes not talking to younot communicating

It’s a family emergency.

Exceeding your emergency

My emergen . . 
. . The freak thingthe spiderwebs growing all over your body


he pursed his lipsrubbed the two week stumble on his chin  
                                                                   mumbled Freak thing? 
Tattoos dont grow man

 

he was deadwas consumed three weeks later a profusion of vines and oddflowers laid in his bed in the depressionthe outline of his body like murder victims a chalk outline a vague silhouette
                                                                                 a vegetal caricature
he saw  he wasnt answering his telephone calls 
                                                    he broke into his place
cops tried to hang breaking and entering on him

Yah B & E I called from his place 
                                   Cocksuckers

 

very early morning,  Reggae Friday,  25  9. 20
1709,  Saturday,  26  9. 20

Edison Lighthouse  Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAfc5xnjb5U