Thankful

theres a loaded word

loaded   with the prejudice one was perforce to live by

before living by oneself 

                                      (if one was able to swing that serene draft   or warm room)

and become accustom to living with ones own prejudices

first

admit they exist

youre not awful for having them

then ferret yours out from among those which you were shackled

the neat little bows that held up a girls hair and a boys spiffy bowties held to their 

starched collars by thin metal clasps

artifice

which  perhaps  can be turned into artefacts

they werent inflicted with malice

ignorance wasnt necessarily malice

it was just folded into the blood as when a favorite cake is made  blended  not beaten

he was thankful he was able to sort between them

he was thankful he was aware of his own and he could curb his tongue when they 

charged the back of his eyes and thickened his tongue

thankful he could chastise himself privately 

and indelicately

no one is perfect

everyone is flawed

his reasons  or excuses  or vice versa  are no better or worse than anothers

--   Would you kindly say Grace

 

--   No thank you

Please pass the oyster stuffing and horseradish

1303,  Wednesday,  26  11. 14

Whenever he planned things

some Thing turned them awry

shivved them in the back

artfully  in the kidney

left them on their knees

in an alley they didnt know

and barely   above the pain

wondering

how they ended up there

and there

and there and there

                                                                                                              waylaid

cracked on the back of the skull

suckerpunched

coldcocked

ransacked  

                          and left for the buzzards

with such unenviable luck   he stopped planning

he stopped revealing to the Universe his intentions

She was being a bitch

he would have thought long  long ago

it should have occurred to him

to keep his big mouth shut

and walked away

Fuck!

Ran away!

but he hadnt

evidently he had a longgg learning curve

  

attended the School of Harder Knocks

black eyes  bruises    scars

though he saw no shame in them

he uttered they were signs of character  

of dogged perseverance

not cheap tattoos just pricked under the skin

                                                                           No  his thick hide wouldnt allow them

anymore than his thick skull

And the NOT planning began to pay off

She bit on his head fakes

bought his stuttersteps    and clutched empty air when he cutback

if need be  his jab his straightarm was loaded up and cocked

he was doing the rockin now

comin out of nowhere

goin nowhere

except for where

and where

and where and where

                                        he meant

silently

he was liberated

2357,  Twosday,  25  11. 14