30.4.24


Ken Bruen continued to knock it out of the park

Jack Taylor novel The Divil Irish  translated The Devil

   page 137
               Depression is sadness gone riot.
he knew a bit about that

not a personal depression hed been blue

blue aint depressionnot by his standards
                                            hed seen severe deep dark depression eye to eye
it deflects humour

he used to be able to make her split a gut
                                           shed told him That’s what I love best about you, how you make me laugh.

wasnt that part of their vow

he vowed
she did too

depression erodesdisavows promises


he didnt have a god
                      she did

he partook in a rite

church ceremony obedience was in her blood bloodied literally her parentsher extended family were church elders they enforced religion made it a point since she was a little girl old enough to understand

he otherwise had slipped church its indoctrination its infection while he was young
                                                                                       didnt look back  found Drugs
found Music

they helped offset the steady barrage he endured at the hands of familial Faithfuls

what helped most
                     he was big and strong he didnt suffer fools   gladlyhad to include gladly
she Believed

he did not try to change her 

she was devotedworked her ass off trying to change him
                                                            My love I told you I didnt believe  I really hope you didnt think I would be a project  If thats true then this aspect of our lives must be terribly difficult for you   Thats your error
If too much there is civil recourse  a remedy

he was honest

he was honest as she said . . . to the point of cruelty

he honestly disagreed



she Believed until she didnt


her death was hard on him

   he wept
             he was blue

last week of April, 2024
1212,  2sday,  30 4. 24

Awcomon  never a sweetspot   Is it tha hard
                                                Whos this Sloan  American Standard
he gandered
              American Standard
theyd been round long enough
                                 bynow should have exceeded science an become art

artless  ceramic  urinals

guaranteed shoetops spattered
NO SWEETSPOT
                     indicate it mark it give im a fuckin target by Christ

is it really tha hard


he didnt think so


if it wasnt a public bathroom hed have pissed in the sink

approximately 1230,  Monday,  29  4. 24
1034, 2sday,  30  4. 24
phonaesthetic: ceramic sweetspot

turning off the reading lamp in the studio it remained lit dimly the sun not yet drifted out of the sky

turning to leave he felt their eyes on him from the walls sidetable  from the bookshelves
                                                                                                their photographs

photographs are so much heartfelt

heartaches heartbreaks

incitements

agitations

indictments        

memorials memories
                      chopped to pieces

abrupt

disconnected
               from what preceded what came after

static love
            the briefspace between heartbeats

quickened


puzzling
          would the next come


he sighed
             he said Gnight loves as he left the room

2235,  Monday,  29  4. 24
0949,  2sday,  30  4. 24
Leonard Cohen  Last Year’s Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7IZAP2yqNo