Did you sleep well last night?

he inhaled No I slept like shit

I’m sorry.

Im sorry youre sorry  particularly when you shouldnt be sorryunless  unless    you had something to do with disturbing my sleep  which you did not

Please  no unwarranted sorrys  please

I feel badly that you didn’t have a good night.

Then say that Not sorry

And you

Thank you. I slept well.

Dream

I did, it’s vague now, I don’t remember dreams like you do.

Can you recall anything

Yes. Goldfish in a pond were replaced by glass fish, and the glass fish were lighted from below and were prismatic; but they didn’t move.

Did you remove the goldfish or place the glass ones

Not me, I watched.

Was it one person or several people

I watched, rather saw, the goldfish were there, then they weren’t, then there were glass fish, and then the pond was lighted and the fish sparkled.

Did you live by the pond or did you walk to visit the pond

I don’t know. I know I didn’t like the glass fish; I liked their submerged sparkling light.

Did you dream?

I dreamt words I dreamed In the beginning there was the word . . if you knew the word . . then it wasnt the true word . . the true word is unknowable . . if someone professes they know  they are false

I know I know theyll repeattheyll say like children who prefer to dismiss an adult who is taking their time to offer them an explanation

                 to which the adult ought to relent and say Fine, tell me what you know.

But they dont know And theyre embarrassed  Theyve embarrassed themselves

I dreamt the words up to they are false the rest was an elaboration a pet peeve

Ah. Do you feel you have to embarrass children?

They embarrass themselves If they dont like how it feels they can stop with the I know

They’re chil . . 

. . And when would you sayhow old  when would you correct them by allowing them their embarrassment

I . . I would think when they’re old enough to discern . that they really don’t know.

I disagree If theyre old enough to say I know I know theyre old enough to be embarrassed

They no

They know?

They N – O  No

                 Ill concede Okay  You no  An then they can leave me alone satisfied in their mistaken understanding of noing

1134,  Twosday,  4  2. 20 

1318,  Saturday,  25  7. 20 

ahshit  here he comes

hes got that look on his puss

hes walking by remote-controlcompletely oblivious of whats around himhe knows whats going on around him by his external antennae like a blind man using a cane

hes present enough though to pause at streetcorners look  proceed when safe

                                                                                       here he comes

How are ya

he didnt acknowledge his greeting he cleared his throat Question. Where are you when you’re beyond modesty, beyond ego, beyond everything outside the small . . space . yes, space, not place . . . beyond everything outside the small space of your singular consciousness?

Id have to think about that

Yes. I should think so.

                        Good day.

he walked off  his antennae twitching again as he went

0919,  Twosday,  4  2. 20

1143,  Saturday,  25  7. 20

put down the book put down the pen put down the cup of coffee

                                                                   watching all the while

dont do anything long nothing deep or involved shallow

                                                           shallow  keep things shallow

the riffsthe tongues of surf stir sand tumble debris tickle palepurple quiet urchinspines turn tiny bivalveshells butterflied and halved

            which tempt him makes him think of the times they held hands and rushed the waves then dove in headlong together

he taught her to hold her breath

                                  blew in her face when she was a baby so she caught her breath and submerged her went under with her so she could see he was there he was with her  holding her

he remembered

remembering would have to keep him for now

they were enclosed

they could see out through the French doors through the glass

on the other side of the glass is too far away

sometimes five feet is too far away when the hat drops ANTHEYREOFF!

                                                                         without a moments notice  theres no rhyme definite reason I can’t breathe. 

                                 three syllables  Imagine with scarcely a breath in your lungs I can’t breathe

you exhale cant inhale never more helpless in your life except since the last time

her eyes bulged

she cant panic

we revive herget her air

                         she breathes again on her own

we fear the terrible momentthe terrible reality the moment she wont

                                                                          and well be there

I can’t breathe.

she cant tell us  we have to watch

she cant speak

                she hasnt in more than six months

we miss her voice and laughter desperately

0808,  Twosday,  4  2. 20

1208, Friday,  24  7. 20