the confessions of a paper boy turn journalist  “Mostly, I liked the silence and solitude.”

                                                                                               published in

The New Yorker

he could relate

                       although

men commiserate of his age who meeting  talking with  once in a bluer moon blue moons are frequent  every twoanahaf years  said they had a paper route

                                                       although

he dominated his route ten years

                                    filled that slot

had also consolidatedconsumed a second  taking it over 

the then paperboy handed it to him

                                       which the Office saw no reason to snuff

paper boy

way he saw it

had to get up in the morning for school anyways

                                                         he too liked the citys morning silence  solitude

1257,  Tuesday,  9  6. 26

who knew  Bill Haley and His Comets  The Paper Boy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb0xj9mwFZk

. . . regardless

 

texted back  :  :  You crack me up

                                            regardless . . .

  :  :  That was the plan from yesterday.

  :  :  There was no plan yesterday, made it this morning 11:51

“Hey… tomorrow works for poolitics.. if too soon Thursday post basketball or the weekend… chew on it Joe”

Your words. This morning

  :  :  Ok… regardless

Didn’t we agree on a putsch tomorrow ?

  :  :  Sure

You’ll text me when you’re home

 

he was bugged

regardless  pretty  wha

                            notwithstanding

Googled  synonyms galore   pretty behindhand blind careless coarse crude deaf delinquent derelict heedless inadvertent inconsiderate insensitive lax listless mindless neglectful nonobservant rash reckless remiss rude slack unfeeling uninterested unmindful

                                                           was bugged

incentivised

               this afternoon poolitics/putsch were going to be exercised   9-ball afterwards  he was going to hand him his numb ass

2056,  Monday,  8  6. 26

1241,  Tuesday,  9  6. 26

Supertramp  The Logical Song  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=low6Coqrw9Y

When the body hints

                       Take it

Don wonder if its a fart or a shit

Head to the crapper

                         Id sob if I shit in my pants

 

    What the hell are you talking about?

Didnt hear wha I said

I did, I did.

             Where’d that come from?

It doesnt matter

                    I crack it up to good sound advice dispensed

Yawoudnt sob ifya soiled yourself

 

    I have.

                Vegas.

Man  Tons of hotels casinos shops along the Strip

                                                     Coudnt have bailed sooner

I tried.

       Bowels beat me by a skosh.

Finished the shit.

Tied my sweatshirt around my hips.

                                           I’m sure I looked odd.

Yadidnt cry

Come on. Big boys don’t cry.

Ten C C

          Im not in love

Jah they do

I have

But not because I shit myself

1530,  Sunday,  31  5. 26

1157,  Tuesday,  9  6. 26

Ten cc  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL0oXa-e_PU

W.  O.  D.

Wod ya quit

               Yadrive me nuts

    Word of the Day.

Wastha so hard

I figured you’d remember.

Acronyms

            In one ear out the other

Please  Just say

    Skirl.

Again please

Skirl.

Squirrel

No.  Skirl

Skirt

No. Not skirt skirl.

How do you spell it

S  K  I  R  L.

                     A verb, and a noun.  I knew you’d dig that.

Jah

         Give it to me

Intransitive verb. To emit the high shrill tone of the chanter.

Noun. The high shrill sound produced by the chanter of a bagpipe.

No  Shit

            A word for the sound of a bagpipe

Anmighty close to shrill

I got another

Another?

Word for a sound mighty close to shrill

                                            S  G  A  L  Its pronunciation  sgaeyl

    Which is?

A yell shriek howl  A loud squall

Noun Shriek

Verb To howl to shriek to scream

    Gettin dizzy  yeesh

Words.

          Something else.

1332,  Monday,  8  6. 26

https://burnsc21.glasgow.ac.uk/word-of-the-week-skirl/

sgal (sgaeyl)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x10UMvsjh1Q&t=30s

Neil Young  Words  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFRIXQPk6BY                                                                                                                   “Thinking your mind was my own in a dream what would you wonder and how would it seem.”

he brought up sutra hadnt understood it was a standalone string or thread preferred thread of the two

    then in his ramble he mentioned the temple Koyasan Kongō Sanmai-in built eighthunred years agoWAIT

Did you see tha temple while you were there

I may have.

You don know

We visited dozens of temples, I don’t remember their names, may have, I don’t know.

    I guess theres thawent sudden googlyeyedWAIT   You did karaoke

I did karaoke . . .

Tha a statement or a question

Statement.

              Why would I do karaoke?

In the house man their home court

                                      The Japanese devisedcreated it

I don’t know that.

You do I just said

I don’t know that you know that.

If I didnt I woudnt have saidWittgenstein  I know for a fact

                                                                  I don lie to you  Why woud I

I’m just sayin . .

. . Because youd lie to me

                               Just saying    Doubt

Wha have I got to gain

Reason why people lie

Easy does it, man, easy.  I didn’t mean to impugn you.

    Then wha did you mean

I meant, why, why would you know that.

Pretty fuckin evident

                         Also means empty orchestra  Which I like a lot

Better than cellar door

Another one for the books

You’re still on that?

Jah  Tolkien didnt know wha he was talkin about

    I woudnt blow smoke up your ass

                                          But when I do    I reveal I did in short order

Thas a joke son

Foghorn Leghorn

Cuz youre typically slow to pickup on my jokes

                                                      Which also tend to be evident

When you’re on a roll it’s hard to tell.

 

    There is tha    

1515,  Saturday – D-Day,  6  6. 26

1310,  Monday,  8  6. 26

Foghorn Leghorn  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JtnEUPvpus  &  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CxX8nvLalE

he texted her  :  :  sometimes when I stumble, I don’t fall on my face

    twice this morning

                           stumbled onto Nyah Steele  Where Your Laugh Used to Be

                           then  pulp propulsive account   Eve Babitz who?

as a kid he kept pulp in the garage where it was unlikely his parents would find it

ducked in ducked out didnt draw attention even when they saw him go in

                                                                               ran his paper route out of there

maybe they didnt question him because he provide them the Trib and Sun-Times for years

                                                                                 pulp

definitely propulsive

                      plays nicely on the tongue

which reminded him of a recent conversation about perineum

                                                                    Its skin  Not an organ

                                                                     I think you’re wrong.

                                                                  Trust me Ive licked a few

More than a few

buddy never got down

How is it you expect head if youre not willing to give it

Howbout?

                 Leaves more for you.

Clever

           I cant imagine you everonce satisfied a woman

Stuff it. I didn’t get any complaints.

No   Probably not

                         Their girlfriends did

1044,  Monday,  8  6. 26

Nyah Steele  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRFEP734uV0

Zappa  Dinah Moe Hum  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYExmWHlgw

she wrinkled her nose  attractive  but not as attractive as her dimpleswhy he usually tried to humour her

                                                                                                                 Ya know, babe . . .

Whastha

The things that come off the top of your head are disturbing.

Why I share with you

                           No sense in just me being disturbed

 

 

she was wrinkling to his sudden rant

                                         . . . social media three-ring circuses freak shows carnies clowns cocksuckers algorithmic dopamine I didnt coin it

    A little frightening taking it in that context.

I don believe theres another context

                                         Any idea how many young influencers have died  I don

An Im on the outside lookinin

I don’t know.

                   I’d guess a significant amount.

Awfully significant to their families

Yes.

             Any idea why it occurred to you?

chuckled  Have we any idea why any of these things tha occur to me occur to me occur to me occur to me

A curse to meNo

                  Not a curse

No.

       Not a curse. 

1928,  Sunday,  7  6. 26

1024,  Monday,  8  6. 26

https://www.thetransmitter.org/systems-neuroscience/reward-learning-algorithm-hardwired-into-dopamine-circuit/

Marilyn Manson  I Put a Spell On You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHiLsEYLeew

felons contempt

https://paulkrugman.substack.com/p/a-gesture-of-contempt

why would anyone expect less

                             Go Paul

227preferred,  Monday,  8  6. 26

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/contempt

                                                                          in case there is any doubt what contempt means

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvD-NZZzE2A         

from Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

                                                    . . . tossed down the loss-hole

appealed to him

he read it to her

she didnt like it

No

 

    Not at all. What’s appealing about it?

Lyrical  Rhyme 

                     Toss  Loss

I understood the rhyme.

 

Also

        Ive lost more than Ive won

Howbout you

I have an idea

 

I’d have to think about that.

Whas to think about

                          You were a competitive athlete  Youve had relationships  Youre employed

Heap your experiences

 

I don’t know.

                 I have an idea, you said.

About me?

Jah

        Have won more benefited out the gate Parents affluent influential  You had a foot through the door tha when you realised you had you took advantage of it

                                                             Rightly so

Youre not stupid

Im not accusing you of anything

 

    I’d have to think.

I understand  loss-hole

1412,  Sunday,  7  6. 26

0933,  Monday,  8  6. 26

Nyah Steele  Where Your Laugh Used to Be  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRFEP734uV0

if he came home

                         Wha

    I came home

he wouldnt recognise shit

at best whenever he returned was cursory

                                              places hed want to visit dont exist   demolished

an incentive

                sit too long in one place and shitll catchup to you

    was he running

no

       didnt like the sense of being pursued

    thad be a mistake

 

Mistake?

Jah 

A mistake.

               What do you mean?

A mistake

    Asking. What do you mean?

 

I do not forgive mistakes

What’s that mean?

    Wha I said

 

You threatening?

Ya stupid

 

    You are.

I am

 

Threatening?

Whaever it takes

                       Im not one to be fucked with

 

    Or else.

Jah

 

Threatenin . .

. . Not you

                   Youre not the kind

So what are you talkin’ abou . .

. . Dead

What do you mean dead?

 

 

 

What do you mean?

 

    Dead

You kill anything

A deer

            In Wyoming

    Howd tha make you feel

I didnt like it.

No

         Yadidnt

Was a once upon a time lark

                                              Took a beings life

Eat it

 

They were going to put it up. I was leaving, returning home.

Departed without a taste of your labour

    They let me shoot first.

I don care

               You didnt eat

 

    No

 

Why woud you understand a threat

    I wouldn’t.

No you woudnt

                      Best you not think   wha my threat entailed

    Were from different beginnings

                                         Yours is a swish

You really havent hurt someone  hard

You have?

 

 

2304,  Sunday,  7  6. 26

nostos

          homecoming   or return 

                                  not

a particularly attractive looking word

                                          But no fishhooks

Six letters long Please

                           Its not about home I know a lot about home since Im the only one of my family who left it

You were going to leave it

Jah

       Maybe if it werent a metropolis  I coud have considered staying

                                                                              But it didnt please me

An my epiphany  my ambition early  as Ive learnedmost have no idea when they realised their life was theirs  thathey werent alive to please others

    Selfishness

Jah

         Happiness

We provide our happiness   Not a job left to anyone other than ourselves

Selfish

Ive already agreed

                      Nostos  This is not home

How can you say tha

                         How long have you lived here

Since last century

You an youre freakin century

Drags history forward

                         More necessary now than ever

But to your point  Its the longest Ive ever remained in one place same place  Place

                                                                                           Place is not home

Im not surrounded by or in the midst of family

Truth be known

Nor woud I want to be

Im too solitary too consumed with the tidescurrents seething seizing me  Too occupied to cease to be occupied with or by others

 

    Why

Because   a storyteller tha  tha I am seen by others  my purposelaughs bitterly  is to entertain humour them

Hence

        Your darkyour  black humour

    Entertaining them . .

. . You insultem

An they don   know tha I am

                                   They assume family They assume friends   Acquaintances

    Acquaintances

Acquaintances

 

No nostos

    No

1446,  Sunday,  7  6. 26

https://stanforddaily.com/2017/04/28/nostos-and-nostalgia/