sometimes when youre least expectingunexpected craze drops into your laphair in ponytailsmouth a crimsom slash wantin to deepthroat ya Open yer fucking pantsNOW!

maybe thats not how things come onto you

                                              but hes found himself bodily flipped upside down with fingers or a mouth at his asshole thumpthump thump or laplap lap deep suckin tryin to turn him inside out 

he wasnt opposed to being turned inside out

                                               it had to look differenthuh he liked different he loved crazed so he gobbled all that shit up and left unsuspecting people to move along unmolested 

there are things to be said for being molested

not everyone who was molested felt bad about being molested 

granted he could only speak from his experiences

Betty Boop bok choy and ass

he thought Betty Boop was hothed do Betty Boop

                                                     hed do his damnedest to turn her from black an white to coloured screamin Technicolor straightenin her hairCOLOURED 

hed eat Betty Boops poop chute cuz yaknow  cartoons can live without eating

her chute would beexcuse him all to hell an back obviously Betty was of age her chute would be slick an virginal an he desperately wanted to unfurl that spitcurl that danced on her forehead

hed fuck Betty an he knew it wasnt odd

                                           because he sought an had attained parental consent his father conceded hed fuck Betty as a matter of factpush come to shove he also managed grandparental consent his old man acquiesced that more than likely his father would have wanted to fuck Betty as well 

parental consent

grandparental consent

three Aces are a tough hand to beat in stud poker

DAMN he was obviously from a long line of deviants

better deviant than a cocksucker of Christ

Fuck he gagged on a thin fishbones when eatin fish

                                                        whawas he gonna do with a cock in his mouth

he wasnt

a cock would never – he didnt like using Never but in this circumstance NEVER was abundantly and glaringly appropriate – a cock would never pass his lips   unless . . wait for it  ..  .  unless it was his cock

if he could suck his cock he would

unfortunately he couldnt

                           so he had to leave that up to women who would listen to what he wanted and perform it to a T  Aint brain surgery baby  LISTEN    LISTEN

a good lover listens to what their lover wants

he was a good lover

their wish was his command

he rarely took orders

                       but if they regarded the panoply panoplay his lover wanted from him he was all over it an they  an there wasnt a crook or cranny he overlooked

bok choy not to be confused with boy choy and ass 

                                                    he did mention themdidnt he he did  actually he was drawnincited by the proximity of Boop and bok admittedly ass too going off in his head by rhymeby the weird coincidenceconfluence of their fortunate appearances that appealed mightily to him

Betty Boop bok choy and ass 

                                  Slick!    

1116,  Saturday,  23  5. 20 

Pepper  Point and Shoot  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdlJNqQtsbc  

where had he read it it percolated up into his brain  unworthiness passed down through your lineage

Yafuckin kiddin me

Kahrist

         it was percolationspauses like that he pondered that made his mug of coffee go cool  kool   kold    kryinoutloud 

                he did it again

he could drink coffee straight throughenjoy it while it was hot

but as much as that was his intentas much as he wanted to

                                                                it didnt happen often

coffee was like an oil

slicking his gears

lubing his thoughts

refreshing his dreams in his eyes like a forlorn bum catching him at a red light in the city and washing his windshield for a buck

            he always found it was worth a couple of bucks and some loose change from his console

more often than not coffee helped him see things more clearly

this morning his hot black coffee bolstered with a splash of Irish whisky its aromatic steam almost made him choke though a pleasant choke  like a whiff of cocaine a nose-hit off a found roach laced with hash oilWAAHBAM

FLASH Maureen his months old girlfriend before he left Chicago for Miami began babbling in angel dust

she blamed him for it

                       You’re ducking out on me.

before they datedwhen they met at a party he told her that he was moving in a few months

some sawed-off Eddie was plying her with the PCP phenylcyclohexyl piperidine – a cyclonic Pepperdine – thats the word game is played to remember the scientific name of angel dust – he told her she could call it by its scientific name hed take a hit too  she never did  neither did he

                                                What? He’s giving it to me for free.

Aint nothing free Maureen anits angel dust

You’ve never tried it, you’re no standing or experience to bi . . 

. . Scientific name  An true But I havent taken heroin either I have a strong idea what can try me an Ive no intentions of taking it  Nevertheless I care about you

You’re leaving, that’s how much you care about me. I’ll be out of sight, out of mind.

You really think that little of yourselfwho you are Who you are in my regards

she sneered Out of sight. Out of mind. Don’t put your regards on me. You’ll be all over the scene in Miami, I ain’t stupid.

Im not going down for the scene Miami the Keys theyve been on my radar for as long as I can remember Id love to have you come down once I get situated when youve finished school

Yah. So you say what you say goes, right?

It does Ive said it Im good to my word

Your word? You’re something special.

Were gettin off track Angel Dust Shithead purveyor

You don’t know him.

Hes a dime a dozen A shithead Hes plying you with that shit an thats all I need to know Says a world about him

You know so much

I know guys  If I wouldnt want him as an acquaintance why would I want you to have a relationship with . .

. . Because I want it!

You want it It  It as in relationship or it as in angel dust

I can have both.

You can I care a lot about you But if you dont care about yourselfhave respect for yourself  I cant either

Fuck you.

Awright I believe youre making a mistake but everyones welcome to their mistakes I dont have to watch it happen

You aren’t. You’re going to Miami.

I am As you knew

he went

Maureen didnt respond to a single letter or postcard

too bad

some of the shit he wrote was pretty provocativepretty crazy worthy of something back

he dreamed he ran into her on the Intracoastal  two slow boats crossing  

she said she had a key

someone said she gave the key to him

she hadnt

But so and so said you have it.

So an so Yah Whos so and so An why would so an so say if you dont remember giving it to me  A key for what

as the sterns grew furthur apart she yelled To my heart, asshole!

kold koffee

1051,  Twosday,  14  1. 20

1104, Sunday,  24  5. 20

she threw a whachagot kick shedve hurt somebody if she connected

her bed lurched

probably a good thing it was on casters

the air mattress baffledmitigated its violence  made him miss his mattress and steelspring box at home

she would have made his bed cry wounded it made it whine like a broken accordion like industrial music  paint peelingsifting rust I-beams clinking exquisite white noise

some people prefer ambient white noise wind through trees cottonballs halfdipped in paint thrown against a wallSPLAT slithering

he preferred knowing who was screaming  and why

white noise made him think of toxic dustblack mold bacteria mice sidestepped Aint no fool they may not have the words but they have a nose for survival

                                          better than some people

Mousetraps 

Stop

     baited with cheese baconWHAP human beings can be baited too Get off your highfuckinhorses WHAP twitching bugeyed bowels and bladder evacuated twitches slow eyes glaze death rattle Ya oughta be listeninya killed it Sambas blackcloaked and hooded partner taps a shouldersteps in dances off with the mouses soul

mice and human beings are similar

                                      except human beings set traps traps baited with food for hungers  appetites  whims wants

I deserve it.

Yadont  Ya have a high opinion of yourself

One should.

Yes However Id caution some humilitysome modesty A realistic assessment Not overinflatednot a pie-in-the-sky pretense Not delusional

                           Not my feet dont stink

the cause of her ferocious kneejerkher kick

                                             she had wakened she wasnt sleeping much and saliva and condensation had gatheredpooled at the bottom of her masklapping her chin nearing her lip

he tipped her mask up slight and with tissue caught the fluid from rolling viscously down her chin he replaced it then with another tissue wound round his finger he lifted the mask again to gently wiped dry her chin and a cursory wipe at the masks edge he replaced it and with another tissue he thoroughly dried the inside of the mask its edge her chin again

Better

her eyes acknowledged him she couldnt speak

Good

he checked the masks seal no leaks

Almost like I knew what I was doing he said

she gave him a big smile breaking the masks seal the ventilated air escapingwhispering loudly

Easy girl he said

she texted  :  :  EEW, huh?

No

:  :  Drool.

he laughed

             I prefer to think slobber Your dream was savory

:  :  Okay. Slobber. Thank you for helping a girl out.

Still EEW. I’m just saying.

Youre a funny girl But youre my girl

I am.

they fell quietsaying nothing just looking in each others eyes they conversed with their eyes

I’m disappearing, Dad.

Ill always see you love  Always

I’m counting on you.

Ill not let you down

No. No.  You’ve always been there for me.

Ill always be there for you

I could be a ghost, a spirit.

No Please dont Transition  Transition as you say you have an will again in the future

You don’t believe in that.

You do

           Do what you do baby  Do what you do when the time comes

I love you very much 

I love you, Daddy.

she never called him Daddy

                              only when they spoke with their eyes

0444,  Sunday,  12  1. 20

1228,  Friday,  22  5. 20