he suffered that endless
refrain throughout his youth at home
A place for everything and
everything in its place
-- Oh for Christsake maw . .
-- I dont want to hear it Therell be no ill words coming out of your
mouth Weve talked about this Thats not how we talk in this house
-- Thats how I talk and how I talk no matter
where I am
-- You might want to think that
through a little better then
-- Nothing to think about
And my things are in my bedroom
where they belong
-- We do not speak like that in this house You have younger brothers and sisters and I will not have them picking up that kind of language from their older
brother So you will watch your
mouth
You share your bedroom with your brothers and you and your brothers
arent going out of the house today until this room is picked up and everything
and I mean everything is in its place
-- Then I suppose we have our work cut out for us
today you regarding language and me
getting out of the house
-- Keep talking like that and you might not be
going anywhere
-- When this room is picked up
and clean Im out
-- Well see
-- Oh
well see
a fuckin place for everything
and everything in its place
that spiel worked itself into
his brain like a parasitic worm
he
never shed it
even while he was putting his
place back together again on weekends after the workweek that checklist plagued
him and
until he finished he didnt go anywhere
but
he was out of their place
later
than he wanted
he was
out and never looked back
its funny the things we
hold remember and dont ever ever want to repeat
a place for everything
it didnt end at home
when he got to school the indoctrination smacked of what he had just
left behind after washing his breakfast plate
they
picked up where his folks left off
they had to be in cahoots
a
cancer of parents--to--schoolteachers parents--to--administrators --to--principals --to--counselors
all
cut from the same cloth
-- Everyone to their places
they had their desks
and once
determined by alphabet thats how they sat for the entire year
unless
you disrupted the class
then you got move right up under the teachers nose
usurping who had been the teachers pet
whats where he ended up
his
reputation preceding him
-- Places everyone
that went for gym Industrial Arts
Music Drama Math Science English -- even English -- he thought one of those teachers would break the mold shake
things up
One did
freshman
year high school She was cut free at the
end of the school year and had been
threatened earlier than that
She told him it was a bad fit not
to worry Shed land on her feet
he never knew She never wrote to say where She landed
he thought they had an understanding when She left
but he
understood even earlier than then
that understandings are shaped by outside forces by unforeseen agencies and agents
by another saying -- The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry
taken from To a Mouse a poem by Robert Burns
he was smarter about some things than he looked
well before he turned eighteen
he quit going to “Places everyone”
and the hardon he had for
everything stinking of Authority served him well
particularly well at the
Draft Board when “Places everyone” came out of an officers mouth as “Step
Forward”
when
stepping forward meant one acquiesced to be inducted
-- Thatd be a cold cold muthafuckin day in
hell
-- We dont talk that way in this
house
-- Yah maw you dont But I dont live here I talk the way I want
-- I stepped up
-- That was Korea Dad A poor choice But you and the country were
mighty fresh off World War Two I
think there was a contagion dumped in Americas freshwater ways
If
the guys I stood with today did as I did the US wouldnt be fighting this war It wouldnt have the fighters And I dont think it will imprison an
entire generation who have the right to civil disobedience
-- You think its over that the military is going to let you walk
off that this is at an end
--
No The military has no right to
me Unless youre suggesting modern day America
is interested in conscription no State might step up harangue me
but I dont think its only me who sees Nam is going badly for us
The
military wants it but thats what the
military does old men sending young boys
to die
I got a great idea Lets let the old men die in battle and see
what the young boys think we ought to do
-- If your grandfather were alive you . . .
-- Would be doing exactly what I want to do He might have cowed you but no one cows
me
Not even you
-- You might regret this
-- Living I dont think so
another saying -- You cant fit a round peg into a square hole
Cuz
I aint square
as long as America continues to
be fashioned by money and old white men
She wont shed
idioms pointed to by idiots invoking dead mens errors
1605, Saturday,
6 9. 14
