29.6.24


Conrads Heart of Darkness
                                Marlows confrontation with Kurtz
It is written that I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice –

    nightmare


Conrads sentence
                    confused
him
there are dreams

good and bad

not nightmares

   occurred to him

dream  nightmare

good  evil

dreams were dreams 
good and bad


nightmare and evil are inventions of religion  invitations of fear


loyalty
         to the nightmare of Marlows choice

loyalty to oneself
                   betrayed
serves others


    obviously he remains confused

Wednesday,  3  4. 08
1100,  Saturday,  29  6. 24

 
A

H

H

A

P

T

first letter of the first word of the last six untitled pieces

AHHAPT
              aaah hapt
sounds like something hed like to do whatever it is

 

What do you mean you’re not giving titles to what you write?

Listen Maw
             I also don write The End at the end
The End isn’t as important as the title.
                                          Whatif I didn’t name you?how would you feel?
Dad woud have

Don’t be a smart ass, I can hand you your ass if you continue glib.

A glibber readily fluent
                        Sounds like me yah

Listen to me. How many books have you read, articles you’ve read that haven’t titles?

None

If none, doesn’t that suggest titles are necessary?

For purpose of subject matter yah

And your pieces have subject matter.

Wha mine is an wha a reader might take from them I expect are different an providing a title is direction an Im not keen to direct anyone
                  Theyll find their way to wha they want Or not
That’s stupid.

A moment a moment please
                              When I was a kid an you packed up the picnic basket Dad packed the cooler an we headed out for our Sunday drives

 

Yes?
     What?

I wanted you to fix that in your mind A pregnant pause gives one that

Continue.  she smiled   I’ve been pregnant.

Whos the smart ass  he smiled
                                   An correct me if Im wrongbut to the best of my memory coming to a crossroads Dad would pulloff to the shoulder stop then ask you or ask one of us kids Which way should I go? Left? Right? Continue straight?

Invariably we turned

An we did tha time an time again before stopping to picnic

He didnt look at street markers highway route markers He just went left right straight

 

What’s your point?

A title a name is a direction
                              I prefer that people find their own way
The pieces are meant to be adventures

Why tip anybody off

1027,  Saturday,  29  6. 24

a small rural town

a slowmotion creek ran through the heart of it

going to sit on a stone retaining wall above the water he noticed in the grass just beyond him someone left an opened crumpled sheet of brownwrap paper on it a started but uneaten portion of chicken breast
                                                                                                wasted
he apologised to the chicken
itd been raise to be slaughtered and in the taking of their life he felt whoever was eating it should have finished or rewrapped it and taken it home to be finished
                                                  not wasted
put him in a surly mood
angered him

    that it piquedpeeved him said he needed to resolve some thing
                                                                           what
what was the irritation
he felt it in his shoulders across his back snakingup his neck
too many shoulder surgeries

they were where irritation and good anxiousness went to goad to play

he paid keen attention

some stealthy quiet oppression

possession
obsession
           yes
obpossession
opposition
            in obpossession of himself
wordslurry slipping slipping  slipping
nerveslurry sparkedsparking
                                sparkling
firing fascination

fascinating

fasincinerating

incinerating
scintillating
Fuck it
          that chickens not dying in vain
rolled over twice to the brownwrap
ate the remaining breast 
mesquite grilled
delicious

tension went out of his shoulders neck relaxed he took a breath

    then sitting upright in a huge stone saucer he gazedsmacked his lips enjoyed the breezeshivered parcels of sunlight emerging through the treesplaying on top the smoothsleek occasionally tremulous  undulating   surface

Friday – week before hallie,  4  4. 08
0946,  Saturday,  29  6. 24