he presented himself as Tom Kettle 

                                    and thereafter he only responded to T Kettle to himself he thought Mebbe he fancies himself a T Rex 

               But there's more to it than meets the eye. that was his other self among many other-selves his dreaming-self

   We’re playing a little game, you and I.

Im playing a game with myself

If you insist.

Nahgo ahead Im curious to see where this come out

That’s why you come here.

I havent a choice I gotta sleep

Yes  you  do. his dreaming-self smiled THEN he had dimples

haha the shit you put me through

Us! The shit you put us, all of us, through.

I suppose theres that

Very noncommittal. That’s unlike yo . .  

. . Only because I dont know what you got up your sleeve

Your sleeve, or rather yourselve, yourself.

Clever

We are, you and I and us.

Rooms getting crowded

Room’s always crowded when you come in.

That sounds like a backhanded   compliment

Maybe you’ll take it for all of us.

Ill take it for the team 

Shall we return to T Kettle before we run too far afield?

Shall Nice Dont hear shall too often

Shall we?

We shall

What strikes you about T Kettle?

Same thing that struck me about the dream yesterday

And?

I have to elaborate

Humour me. Humour the rest of yous.

Awright T Kettle is very similar Letters versus number Letterswords prefer to be verbose so naturally Id expect more letters than numbers

And?

And twoeightyeight and eightythree three eights in five numbers Whereas T Kettle is three Ts in seven letters the pair of Es is a nice touch

                   Youll recall weve played with a pair of Esyes on occasion

I recall.

Was it as go for you as it was for me

Jesus, man, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander; we have little separation between us, a line of dominoes, nerveendings, firing synapses, a heap of dried fallen leaves along the street curb that you used to set on fire.

I remember

All of us remember.

Seems you run a tidy little ship

I try, if only you’d keep from heaping up more and more. 

                                                         Did I say more? An more.  

Facets Like compoundeyes Like more than two sides to any story Like criminals love a crowd

Like shut up.

Awright Was I in the neighbourhood

You kidding me? You are the neighbourhood, the labyrinth, the maze.

Good Then Im still sane

You are In-sane. In the In-Crowd.

Groovy

 

early AMish,  Sunday,  27  12. 20

too cool 227 or 1427,  Sunday,  27  12. 20

The Fixx  One Thing Leads to Another  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHYIGy1dyd8  

Tom Kettle (but not his T Kettle) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2sPPfFnV46bMVPj7ShDY0pV/tom-kettle

 

 

2.88 a pound  83 pounds

simple 

      it WAS simple call it 3 a pound times 83  249   249.00   .12 at 83  .10 at 83  8.30 plus .2 at 83 equals 1.66 or 9.96  or subtract 10.00 from 249.00 plus 4   239.04 

                                                            aint much cash gotta agree

that was the Agreed price for freshcaught elan

they were hard to find if you didnt know where to fish

the reefs what depth  bait

                             elan was particular

and elan was tasty marbled   a coldwater fatty fish 

excellent as sushi sashimi though its tumescent tangerinestreaked pale blue flesh put people off foolish  only wild Alaska salmon was in the ball game 

                                        fewer and fewer unfortunately

2.88 a pound is a fair price

 

some peopleone  particular  person  had to be a cunthe came up short but he sold the family needed money  Ill give you a couple of days to ante up 

he put the last of the elan into the back of a truck

the truck drove off

he fingered the light cash     

We’re square. No anteing up. You got what you got.  Twothirtyeight was what was agreed to.

2.38

that aint as simple

he counted the money in his hand

it came to 197.54

Oneninetyseven fiftyfour aint Twothirtynine aughtfour   cunt he didnt have to say that Yahhe did

cunt smiled

a malevolent smirk

good 

      they understood each other 

I want the difference with interest now

With interest?

Yah I would have settled for the difference in a couple of daysya anteing up but ya got a mouth on ya  Your brother didnt

My brother’s a sap.

Interest is twenty percent a day

simple 

      it was simple short 41.50 times 20 percent 8.30 on top  49.80  

Well call it Fifty a nice round numberso you wont forget for my inconvenience  wasting of my time    

Got all you’re gonna get.  he chided 

mebbe cunt didnt imagine dying for fifty bucks

hed kill for less 

                if cunt didnt know he should have

ball was in their court

he hoped he didnt have to go up through cunts Mickey Mouse soldiers

but after all that was up to them

tomorrow should have only costed them balance plus interest

fact wasHA 

            hed save em money

 

288 and 83

numerology

288  ten  eighteen  nine

83  eleven  two

nine

two

he figured his numbers added up nicely

 

early AMish over and over,  Saturday,  26  12. 20

1144,  Sunday,  27  12. 20

https://www.astrogle.com/numerology/number-9-in-numerology.html    https://www.astrogle.com/numerology/number-2-in-numerology.html

yacan make up your own mind

 

late Christmasnight after a troubledsleepless early Christmasmorning  

                                                                        running last Christmas over and over and over and over then braking it with an epiphany  preceding Christmases had been very happy and joyous

everything last Christmas wasnt

he was somewhat proud he was able summons himself and make today better   better 

he felt beatup emotionally physically 

                                     anto put the day behind him  ease himself   ease his tension and mind  he ran a hot bath with blueberryginger rosemary oil Epsomsalts which he treated himself for Christmas  a gift  trying to be kind to himself

           that was out of character 

last Christmas was the last Christmas his daughter and mother had 

                                                                      despite their precarious health he didnt see that cominghe bought in hook line and sinker to their amazing optimism resiliency their deft mindsets that had always served them unveeringly  

when his daughter succumb his mother threw in the towel and died thirteen days later

two of the most powerful women in his life had died  he had yet begun to mourn his mother because his daughters death had been so traumatic 

                             sometimes hanging on by his fingernails he wondered why he bothered

ah  or maybe to soak in a hot bath BE KIND TO HIMSELF 

leftie and bomber wandered in  mused  then jumped up onto the tubs edge  Whassup? in their eyes and tentative crouches

Hey kids Checkin in on the old man

they might have heard him saying out loud Merry Christmas Aniela Merry Christmas Maw I miss you both terribly I miss being able to call you talk with you wish you Merry Christmas ask about your mornings your gifts  tell you how much I love you

                 he chuckled despite himself his mother was always in a frenzy making Polish specialties for monster breakfast lunch and dinners year after year for decades decades  Call later this evening, Joe, or tomorrow so we can get caught up, I really don’t have the time right now. Thats why I called Maw to give you a breath  Thank you, I’m breathing, talk with someone else. and she handed him off to one of his eight brothers or sisters

years on end they played that game

not this Christmas

the dialtone when he went to call them didnt sound when he picked up the telephone  he imagined The party you have called is unavailable. Please check the number and call again. 

                                                                that would have been really nice 

out loud to Aniela he admitted he was feeling guilty guilty   I know thats the wrong word but thats the only word that occurs to me right now I know I didnt do anything wrong so theres nothing to be guilty about   but thats how I feel 

I suppose itll have to be a placeholder  a placeholder until I have a better word  or until I arrive  progress   to a better place  Guilty 

leftie and bomber in turn nudged his shoulder 

                                                Yah guysyah  I know I know  Im being maudlinpitying myself  Pitifulhuh Thanks for calling me out Lemme melt away a bit then reconstitute before getting up and going to bed Deal  Suchadeal! they purred and jumped down onto the linoleum and casually wandered away taking him at his word they knew he needed someone to take care of they knew that they were giving him a quiet purpose a gentle reason for tomorrow and tomorrow 

                          and for tomorrows and months and years

 

late Christmas,  25  12. 20

1438,  Saturday,  26  12. 20

Bee Gees  I've Gotta Get a Message to You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRV_7eEgobw