IHURT 

                                          thats whahe saw   whahe wrote

he tried to write it correctly

                          tried to separate it into subject verb  but he couldntthey refused to be parted

he was puzzled 

 

slowly it began to make sense

IHURT descriptor   he was in pain

he had physical emotional pain 

                                 he thought he might be able to remedy ithe remedied other physical pains ailments when he was hurt without analgesics 

he iced it

          he thought if he iced it he could reduce the inflammationthe swelling diminish it to perhaps   Ihurt 

then with the swelling down they might fall apart  fall separate

if it refused  maybe he could disguise it 

                                           purely cosmetic     eyhert  

the icing didnt work

he had to look at it differently 

see it differently 

                see how it might otherwise present   

then he might have or concoct another remedy  another solution 

                                                                                  IHURT 

           Ah 

               subjectverb  that action where he threatened to hurt others which ofcourse no amount of ice or analgesic might cure 

            anif not he  then perhaps it references the national problem  seemingly a national calling

positively unAmerican if one couldnt hurt another for any variety of disobedience insult perceived-wronging perception assume-challenged  entitlement see how he didnt go immediately for the bonethe jugular  racism

he was thinking out loud

                           because IHURT occurred to him while he was asleep while he dreamed and while he dreamed he began problem-solving composing  he composed until it woke him Get yer sorry assyer sorry self out of bed and get this down before I shut it down and blank your fucking memory – howdya like that muthafucker 

that threat moved him

he opened his eyes and IHURT was leaning over the bed looking him in the face

                                                                                     Whacha gonna make of me

Nothing Whadaya goin to reveal to me

 

hed keep at it

those were only twofor time being  perceptions 

hed continue to turn it around and aroundupside downinside out looking for other applications  hed muse for a while longer before he accepting either interpretation

 

IHURT

                it meant something

0717 – then 1018,  Monday,  29  3. 21

 

I’ve been giving some thought as to why, when I email buddies, they, for the most part, don’t get back to me.

Buddies

Yes. I write or text, I might as well be standing on my head; rarely does anything comeback to me. Mitch. One guy. Occasionally he’ll sling me a line, but usually it's not about what I wrote.

Ya hurt some feelings along the way

I don’t think so, I ‘ve known these guys since high school.

Since high school

You sound incredulous.

Wellyah frankly I am

You got high school buddies.

Boy friends

Stop.

that was a joke between them  he had girl friends and girlfriends and boy friends  his brother-in-law got creeped out when homosexuality was invoked  though he said he was okay with it 

                                                                            he wasnt  not really

High school friends  two   Recently a third

Two? 

Donsound incredulous 

Two. 

      And how often do you talk with them?

Telephone or otherwise

However.

Infrequently  but youif I remember correct  your graduating class was twohundredfifty

Thereabouts, yes, a little more.

But only a little more  not twoseventyfive not threehundred

No.

Small community  Intimate

                              My graduating class was nearly twelvehundred  Buddies  I havent a concept for buddies  How many buddies

Seven, eight. There are others, but not tight.

Class Reunions

Every five years.

Youve gone to all of them  Like church

Like church, com’on, not like church.

Youve gone to all of them

Yeah, sure.

Your buddies are still local say within a twentythirty mile radius

Yes. This is a beautiful place to live.

It is  Have houses

My friends have houses? Yes.

Entertain

How do you mean?

Entertain barbecues birthdays family friends

Yes.

Then bro count yourself fortunate and donworry about them not responding to emails texts They answer their cells when you call or you go to message and they call you in a day or two

Yes.

People have busy lives or theyre busy entertained by something thats captured their attentiontheir imagination

Okay. I could concede that.

Then concede

I could; but I’ve always seen myself as something of . an . . an . accelerant, oxygen feeding the fire.

Every dog has his day although from the inflection in your voice Id say you dog  youve had years

                                                                                                         Callings easier Words out of mouths not typed less energy frankly less time 

                                                                 An accelerant

Yes, an accelerant.

Hmm

What’s your hmm?

I hear celebrant

Not celebrant, accelerant.

Grease the rails Stoke the fire  Fires donburn forever 

                                                        Mebbe some of your friendships have run their course their orbits have grown wider and wider over the years 

A natural course Water erodes rock

Maybe.

Thank your lucky stars Call Convenient or rather more convenient then typing away on social mediahaving an audience typing away on a new phone they don understanddidnt understand the last one

Accelerate one at a timewill take more time but youll communicate get answers to your questions share insights 

You don’t?

I don

I don’t get it.

My buddies are twothousand miles away my choice  knew wha I was doin when I did it.   

1500-ish, Sunday,  28  3. 21

2234,  Sunday,  28  3. 21

Traffic  Stranger to Himself  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tROipfKCh0E