CORMAC McCARTHY IS DEAD

my heart raw Ive no words

John Donne speaks for me

No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man 

is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; 

if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe 

is the lesse, as well as if Promontorie were, as 

well as if a Manor of they friends or of thine

owne were; any mans death diminishes me, 

because I am involved in Mankinde; 

And therefore never send to know from whom

the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

MEDITATION XVII  Devotions upon Emergent Occasions

1612,  Twosday,  13  6. 23

Ah roommate he had called him for his birthday don’t you get lonely? 

No

Pretty quick, wouldn’t you like to think about it?

Nothing to thinkbout I enjoy the lifestyle prefer my community  

What community? he could imagine his old college roommates face they lived together for two yearswere tight  sang Happy Birthday  Seems odd that you refer to yourself as a community

It isnt  Im faceted 

                         he chuckled  Like a diamond or a mirrorball Hit me with a flashlight at night an I sparkle spangle 

I like my space my timeI like doing wha I want whenever I want 

I have my books films art Im fortunate I can entertain myself   An to this point  endlessly

You arent able to do alone

No I couldn’t. I do not like being alone . .

. . However theres caveat    Being alone isnt being lonely

   I’d be lonely.

Think of all the things you could do 

Things I want to do I want to do with others, my wife, my kids, grandkids . . friends . . . you have friends?

Im talking with one 

No. 

     Friends to hang out with.

No My friends like my family are remote faraway 

                                                       I don impede them they don impede me

No hindrance

Don’t you think it’s odd to think that? Or selfish?

Not selfish  The second time yave mentioned odd 

                                                      I donwanna to hinder anyone I respect they have lives an I want them to enjoy their lives as they want Its a rare instance where need does not supersede want 

I need  I rarely want 

You

I still want things. 

   Ive had things  An most those things I still have 

                                                     I probably saw this coming but didnt recognise it

You’ve always been drawn to the loner . . you remember us going to see Jeremiah Johnson? When it ended you begged off of leaving, you were staying. We caught the matinee. You stayed through the last show, saw it three times, correct?

Yes Twin bill   Good memory

Not really man, you’re the only person I know who spent an entire day to watch one film. Still your favorite?

Yes 

     I watch it fourfive times a year

Shit. 

       You? I should have seen this coming.

Yare at a remove Your whole family lives nearbyhave always lived near Id killya if they didnt

You have exactly whaya want

1118,  Twosday, 13  6. 23