under brittle white light
everything smelled of berries
even the pine tar soap I worked
into my hands to kill the scent of onions on them
it leaned against my back peering
over my shoulder as if it had a right and I had no
privacy
I pushed back against it with the
bump and a nudge of my shoulder
working for a little room
vying with it to remove its
breath from behind me lapping warmly at my ear
then because it didnt take any heed
I leaned eversoslightly into
the free-standing four-legged sink
and came around with a vicious
elbow
landing it against its temple
the light went zigzag then
silver and then eversoslightly dimmed
I dont know what happened after
that
I went black
bitter black
so black nothing dare follow me
in
and anything that was with me
cowered and hid in the folds of
my crumpled body
there on the cool starspeckled
linoleum
hiding like feasted spiders
ignoring the tugs and temptations plucking their silks
they had more sense than me
I dont know how long I laid
nobody begged me with ammonia
or smelling salts
and the weight at my chest that
at last worried me back to consciousness was a
neighbors cat who evidently
came in through the broken window over the sink
a
tinny-edged starburst standing on two black thin stems
it forgave me for disturbing it - rousing and groaning - and slinked distracted into
a near corner and watched
its
nocturnal eyes thin shining disks
the kitchen was filled with darkness
though I could make out things
in it
it didnt contend with where Id
been
around me lay broken stoneware plates
saucers and cups and scattered bent flatware
above these latent shadows and
incumbent quiet dark there was a hint of laughing
cellophane
and making to my hands and
knees I half-expected to be rerouted back to where Id been
I didnt leave
absently my shoulder twitched my elbow ached
my forehead and face were
sticky from making flowers with the windowpane
I was dull
dumb
and keyed up by the faint presence
and humor which sounded elastic and brittle at once
1211, Sunday,
25 5. 14
