Frugal? You haven’t half a clue
what frugal is; you got five minutes I can tell you.
so he opted to hear him out
frugality in this day and age
seemed hyperbole
I got the time whacha got
My brother; want him, need a
brother?
No thanks got three
I got five, we could lose him, wouldn’t be missed.
Too frugal
A thoughtful guyhuh
Oh yeah, full of thoughts.
So whas the knock
Bags. Paper bags, plastic bags,
he has them in abundance, readily plies us with them.
Why does he ply us the family Ill assume with bags
Because we toss ours.
Recycle them
Yeah, we don't keep them around,
then we turn up short when they’re needed. He pulls our butts out of the fire
and forces us to listen to him harangue Waste not, want not; waste not, want
not; waste not, want not. Epizeuxis, he says, to drive home his point.
Because hes frugal
Yes. Frugal. I did say plastic
bags, right?
Ya did.
I went to visit him. He rented a
bigger car so everyone could ride together to our nieces’ soccer games; it was a
weekend tournament.
An example of his extravagance
Yes, yes. The parking lot was
full so he stopped us at the gate and left the sports complex to park the car
somewhere in the neighborhood. He missed the warm-ups and was almost late for
the start.
The girls won their games, so
they had to return for the afternoon brackets. He went to fetch the car but
everyone insisted we walk together.
We got inside, started off, one
of the girls pipes up What stinks! It smelled like someone stepped in dogshit.
It was awful.
Everyone who could check their
shoes did; nothing.
We rolled the windows down and
when we got home he checked his shoes too, everyone rechecked their shoes, no
dogshit. It was strange. He left the windows down while we went inside for a
light lunch and relaxation.
A light rain came up as we were
driving back to the complex. We rolled the windows up again. No sooner had we
than we could smell it again.
I was sitting directly behind
him, and looking down, tucked just underneath bench, under him, I saw a large blue
plastic bag, it was folded in half.
He caught me in the rearview,
What’s what?
A blue bag.
I picked it up, tossed it in the
car.
You didn’t look inside? Didn’t
feel a weight?
I did not. Looked like nice big blue
bag somebody carelessly left on the parkway.
Yeah, well, let’s discount they
were careless.
Frugal muthafucker.
Yah thatsah frugal
