. . . replenishyes  wha interrupted himself

                                                      rocked back on his heelshe knew

to replenish garlic powder cinnamon  tea

replenish turmeric had bay leaf garlic onions beans Better Than Bouillon mushrooms root vegetables  greenleafy vegetables

                      needed moremore glass pitchers to retain moonwater

    moon

full moons

             had crystals  the water   pet ashes  family    under them

Ashes

       Arya fuckin kiddin me      Like I deserve this laughed hyenaously

like anything is deserved in this flimsyexcuse for A Life

                                                               When’s it going to get easier? she asked

Christhe loved her

                   Babe  Whoever told you itd get easier

she rockedback onto her heels like he punched her

he could have been kinderbut for what affect

                                                       he wanted her woundedcauterised at the same time

seared

           then unforgotten

this  inventory   list    was her job

she was the fuckinwitch

                            every woman is

he conceded

             pitied cunts who walkedround  strutted  thoughtbelieved   they strutted

women didnt intimidate him

                                 he dugem  

2114,  Thursday,  1  5. 25

he put an unwashed carrot to his mouth

                                            like a .38   wondered

if he played Russian roulette

                                thought of from where they grew

Mary contraryMarys silver bells and cockleshells phosphorus nitrogen potassium calcium boron compost

    crossed his fingers  coffee grounds too

wouldnt think an unwashed carrot was as risky as  say    chicken   salmonella

                                                                                      Simon says

carrote 

garrote

ligature

         Gads

going off his rocker

humouring himself

casually playing with words

by his choice

no ones around

                     no one to affect his solitude   solicitude

desperately critical

hes criticised

                family   what few friends

but they didnt know or wouldnt want to know what he did

                                                              he couldnt blame them

this has been his path since  thats of no matter 

his purpose was himselfnot selfishly  or greedily

                                                      contending with himself was a fucking handful

he

spared

them

   pulled the trigger  not much grit crunchy    tasty

colour orange reminded him of carrotsof the young carrots he snuck over and pilfered from old lady Grishams garden

when she caught him she beat him with a broom until he escaped over her loosened wire fence into the ash alleyway

his mother and grandmother were friends with old lady Grisham

                                                                       she never once ratted him out

apparently

               their private little game

2122,  Tuesday,  29  4. 25

1249,  Thursday,  1  5. 25

It's crazy how you do that.  she put her hand up to block the sun

                                                                         Three oclock over the sycamore

adjusted her head  Ahthere.

                                I see. 

Smaller than the other ones today.

Redtail? Redshoulder?

Tail

    she peered hardermoved her head with the hawks flight  Tail.  Yes.

Smallish.

Yes

they watched as heshe shehe surfed the skycried  cried until they lost herhim behind a deep reef of oak

So awesome.

Without a doubt

    How do you do that?

Do tha

Find them.  More often without a cry you point them out.

I senseem No

                  I hear hawks

Not a soundBingo, you point.

Perhaps athletics  High School

                                  Four years a Hawk

You

A tiger.

Tigress

          made her smile   Yes. Correct.  A tigress.

Soccer  Gymnast   Swimmer

You remember.

Need only look at your body for confirmation reminder

she reached over grippedpatted his knee  You’re a prince.  

Youre a peach

A prince and a peach.

                          Possibilities.

To be enjoyed as we ferret  exploreem

    That’s what you call that . . . exploring?

If we didnt how woud we know   winked lasciviously

she blushed

               That’s all on you.

Cant help myself

No you can’t.  You’re the idea guy.

I be he

You are.

          Wonderful fantastic ideas.

Which you also insist . . . occur to you out of the blue.

he noddedhead bobbed emphatically

                                        Out of the blue  Them    The hawks

You quoteunquote . hear them.

Coud be the silverblue atmosphere ticklingticking their wings their feathers

                                                                                  Silent sound of anointment

Anointed.

              I really really like that.

I like sharing with you

                           Another Bloody Mary

That’d be divine.

                   Did you divine that too?

You ponder  anwhile ya do keep your eyes peeled for herhim or others

                                                                            Back in a flash

he gathered their glasses from Greek tile coasters off the small oval weatheredwood table between them and crossed the patio to the house

she watched him walk away

                                 reminded her when she first saw him how she hopedcrossed her fingers hed look as good coming back

2322,  Wednesday,  30  4. 25

1117,  Thursday,  1  5. 25

his birthday was early April

his kid brother Irish twin late March

he texted him  :  :  I’m gonna miss April. You miss March?

she smiled warmly butter melting on top a poached egg freshcrushed black peppered as he read it to her

                                                                                                     You think you’re going to miss April.

Know  Not think

                  I know Ill miss it

And your brother?

He hasnt responded I wont assume

Don’t you think that’s odd?

Odd asif odd sounded odd

I’ve not considered December.

Maybe now you will tha I have mentioned it

Maybe.

What . . . it is that you’ll missif you can say?

                                                 Your expression confirms . . conveys your . loss.

Thank you Feels like a loss a sudden disconnect  longing Nothing substantial earthshaking happened

    Cant put my finger on it

Miss April?

    Miss March

                       Miss April

she pursed her lips a smile fevered to part them dimples began to show

                                                                              If I didn’t know better.

You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were talking about Playboy playmates.

Yowza

2244,  Wednesday,  30  4. 25

0950,  Thursday,  1  5. 25