thatll teach him
he should have just gone to bedhe
was tired instead he decided to play
with God rather with the Hebrew Tetragrammaton
(its most recent iteration looks like a stylised n i n ’ – his girl Anais Nin)
YHWH Yahweh
JHVH Jehovah
Hebrews have seven names for God
he didnt understand why
he had two
his first name
when he crossed his
parentsfrosted their fannies he was his first and middle name
he read that the Tetragrammaton four letters were used a symbol for the ineffablethe unpronounceable name of God
hmm ineffable
1. beyond expression indescribable
unspeakable
2. not to be uttered taboo
thatll teach him
he dreamed
waking the following morningknowing
that he was teed up knowing that he
dreamed an ineffable dream for a man he
figured hed blow his whistle on taboo on
his somehow assigned ineffable dream that YHWH or JHVH might have slipped him
to let him choke on it be ashamed
Fuckya Im just the screen it was projected onthe canvas
painted that yaYHWH amused yourself but using me aint gonna shut my mouth
he took a deep breath of fresh air
runners on your mark get ready get set . . GO he ran his
share of race and won several
he found himself in bed with a small
young slender blonde man smooth cheeked hairless a male version of a groomed saloned woman
they spoke intellectually thatll
get ya in trouble
they were naked thatll get ya in trouble
the young man embraced himkissed him imbued by his
Eastern European culture men kissed
men he kissed his father uncles brothers
cousins never thought it queer
he was not upset by the kiss it was pleasurable
evidently the kiss was more
pleasurable for the young man he became
aroused and physicallyforcefully pushed him down on the bed and rubbed his sex he could write penis but the only
thing funnierlooking than the word is an actual penis against
his
it was not unpleasant he in-kind became aroused while he enjoyed the contact and the kissing he
was unsurehis eyes were closed asif closed eyelids were noncommittal
it
wasnt until in a huskythick voice that the young man wanted him to turn over
onto his belly that it got real the thought to be fucked – he visualised it in
his mind – I
want you to suck my cock. – he visualised it in his mind –
the reality nauseated him the kisses
were no longer sweet
No
the young mans not listening to
him is on him like a dog
No
hes not hearing him
Stop
he doesnt
he doesnt waste his breath and
physically throws the young man onto the bedroom hardwood floor
I said Stop
dumped on the floor clutching the slack of the throw rug under
him he acts wounded he begins to cry Is that a thing
then from above he sees them in the
bedroom hes on a voluminous bed white linens
pillows and blankets the young man silently
crying on the honeycoloured wood floor then it is a white silent space asif
they are in a container in the sense that the whiteness of the now-sprawling bed consuming bed the whiteness inhibiting any sort of edge or horizon
or atmosphere there seems no top no
bottom a great white metastisising void
he could still see the young
man his well-shaped head his shoulder no muscular definition he thought he could still
hear his whining disappointment
his Shaddup unheard his anger roils he wants to leave but he continues to sit and
listen and look about and smell feel the bedding enjoy the translucence the utterness of the white a white light casting no shadows he is surrounded the white become fluid it defining his extremities filling in-between his fingers and toes when he opens his mouth for a breath it enters
his mouth fills his nostrils fills himhis lungs as he breathes he slowly is becoming part of the white fabric
just before he wakes he is
aware of only himself asif hed been alone
the whole time the girlish man never
was no sense of violation or anger asif hes a whipped aerated eggwhite
he wakes its morning
1129, Twosday, 4 2.
92
1414, Twosday,
23 3. 21
