she loved to read
she read in Empire of Self
a
biography of Gore Vidal
a passage from
Gores 1959 essay on Suetonius a Roman historian the father of biographical writing
We are both she uttered breathlessly to herself while
keeping watch to either side that no one overheard her
as a young girl a young woman she
was encouraged or berated if she did not seek out her greater angel while
knowing full well it was to the detriment of her monster
an the more inducement she
endured
the more she struggled to
restrain her monster
the more monstrous her first
inclinations and thinking were
then she met him
an perhaps because he was a man
because he was unorthodox an
incorrigible
because no one could make him
feel uncomfortable in his skin
he encouraged her monster
encouraged it to begin pharisaistic
so she could catch up on her
monsters deficit
an once the scales levelled he
pulled her back from its edge an abyss
so when she looked into it she
could see its dark void dissipate
an it replaced by the cool quiet
reflection of a black mirror
he helped her avert a disaster
that would have been her
why would people who loved
her who provided an cared for her do what they did
he smiled gently
then grit his
teeth
Well -- paraphrasing
Tolstoy of all people -- the
hardest thing can be explained to a dimwit
as long as they havent any idea of it
but the simplest plainest thing cant
be made clear to an intelligent person if they believe they already know it
I cant think of a soul who would
want to go toe-to-toe with Tolstoy
1454, Twosday,
12 1. 16
0010, Day-between-Two-Ts, 13 1.
16
