a buddy sent him a postcard
which is saying something even if
he couldnt get the sonofabitch to ever write a letter despite leveraging that
inane hope with letters of his own too numerous to count
his stringent adamancy to provoke him had
inadvertently fashioned metastasised him into a type of sounding board
an impatient confidante
they talked on the telephone
he reluctantly
his buddy wanted to skype
he would not negotiateChrist
NO
Youd have to write me more than
a few letters buy me more than a few bottles of very good bourbon to get
me in front of a skypecamera
his
buddy sighed deeply(he could hear harsh angst whisper in his exhale) Manh
Writin letters takes too
much time Time Id rather use otherwise(unspecified)
he used the tired worn excuses time
immemorial plucked out from a well that if it wasnt should have gone bone-dry
by now
I got nothing to say
My life aint interesting certainly nothing to write home about(neither
of them lived where they had met as boys and grew up) and Ill be goddamn ifya
think Im going to try and vie with the letters youve written me
Yago off manh yago on and on yarealise doncha that many of your letters run
more than a dozen pages handwritten
front and back
Filled
to glut Endless questions
Goddamn
Questions alone Yanever write
rhetorically Tryin to simply reply to
them alone to the degree of specificity you ask would demand as many pages if
not more to eke out their replies
he sighed again
Whodafucks got time
for that
You could make time if you wanted
Yahwell Evidently I dont wanna
No He didnt want to anymore than
he wanted to skype
so as a loose middle-of-the-unmaintained-shitty-asphalt-road
compromise he answered his letters with postcards
he seemed always to unearth old
postcards
that said something even if he didnt write letters
postcards that once-upon-a-time
would catch breaths make old biddies huff Really
he had a thing a devotion for insulting
old biddies who likely unknown to him were making up for his mother who if she
were alive would have been the Queen of Old Biddies and Prudes
over the telephone after
receiving another postcard through the mail after already having written him a
letter copied it highlighted particularly aspects of it so he wouldnt ruin its
news when it arrived or cautioning him to not repeat himself he tried again to
convince him to quit referring to them his very artful postcards as
antiques but rather vintage
I like the term antique
better Vintage lacks pizzazz
You lack pizzazz
but if you would
vintage it also means the best of its kind
And certainly they arent run-of-the-mill postcards Common
Theyre special
Unique
Not antiqueI describe them to everyone who sees them in my studio as
remarkable vintage Always vintage
Nah Antique
You near your computer right now
I am
Its On
No
Turn it On
Turn it On
For me please I wanna send you an email illustrating
vintage as compared to antiqueHumour me
Gettin testy Not like you
You often make me unlike me
I think were at the point where .
. . how do they say . . Samuel Johnson nearly two-hundred-fifty years ago said
it Bob Dylan said it better
They say
that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings steal a little
and they throw you in jail Steal a lot
and they make you a king
Whats that have to do with
anything
Well first off it buys us time
for your computer to come up so you can read your email
I got Facebook
Book of Faces No thanks You know
I dont
You up
Almost Whats your second off off
your first off
Like Im to forget Second off the remark is about false patriotism Clinging to an enhancement Attempting to
beguile and or enhance oneself with the benefit associated to it Are you up
I am And are you suggesting Im . .
. . Youre being contrary for
the sake of being contrary I know you well enough to know the word antique burdens
your tongue It does not roll off your tongue not ever not unless youre trying
to gall me or chap my hide It gives you while I believe unlike you some type of
passive-aggressive glimmer of resentment towards me for something that may be leftover
since we were kids A slight that for some reason has remained like a sliver
just under your skin An irritation Were old friends You can be honest
No matter
Momentarily Im going to send you
an email to illustrate why you may finally concur with me
Vintage more accurately
states what I know to be your firm position rather than risk being misconstrued by
your long-standing blatant announcements of antique postcards You know how you refer to them out loud
I . .
. . I know your I
Please
just read what I write then tell me what you think
he typed in electronic light: vintageerotica
antiqueerotica(which when written out rather than said appeared anti-queer-otica the Spanish otica meaning aural sounds like
anti-queer erotica which meant
what or rather how erotica could be anti-queer)
See what I mean? he
continued
I might be the lone
oddball it occurs to, but I’ve made a livelihood extrapolating small errors,
usually overlooked, and correcting them before they could affect or manifest
trouble.
Exercising them as
captured examples I also defined them as beneficial, mutually realised by our
clients and by our company, which generated, vouchsafed, ultimately assured
our clientele that our vigilance, determination to act, was always with their best
interest at heart and in mind.
If you were to think about
it . . . it’s hard to malign someone who admits their wrong and also seeks to correct
themselves.
You get it he asked
Im reading
Whats erotica look like when its anti-queer
I dont know
But rare
anyone calls someone queer anymore
Thats way outdated
If my mom were alive she
would
She
was a trussed-up old gal even when she was young Im surprised she had me
I wonder how that went
I
do
No matter I suppose It did
It did
You dont think immac . .
. .
Give me a fuckin break aint nothing about you immaculate
A boy can always wish
evening, Thursday,
31 3. 16
0252, Saturday, 2 4.
16
Muse Kiki de Montparnasse by Julian Mandel circa 1920s
