er a
funny little musefills a pausethat moment when someone is overcomeoverwhelmed by an ensuing
silence between thoughts or thinkingdispossessed while pondering something er
er ah um
he didnt go to it often he was comfortable with long unenunciated quiet
he hadnt disappearedhe was still right
before their eyes thinking they could be patient
they were on the telephone
she asked Are you still there?
she asked Are you still there?
Yes
I thought I may have lost you
No I was listening to youto what you were
saying
You might say something
If I had something in the moment
to say I would have
I
was digesting your words considering what you said You
know Im not one for throwing out the first thing that tumbles into my head those
senseless preambles nonsense spat only to fill the void
No I know youre not though its a bit different
on the fone isnt it
I thought the call might have dropped
Idve been calling you back
immediately And yes the context is different
over the fone
It is I know
you would have been back to me . .
.
. If not in a heartbeat then in what the technology would allow
So what youre saying without
saying is that I should be patient
I consistently urge you to be
more patient
But Im not patient
No youre not You love are a work-in-progress
You really think so
I do
Youre always so patient with me
I am but I always caution you to remember that I wasnt
always patient either
Mebbe
the universethe multiverse knew you were coming down the pike and I had better
bone up You were inevitable
Well thank you
Hold on you can thank me when we get you in tune
HA Thats funny
er
unfortunately er wasnt er to her
her er was ERthe Emergency Room
she had been to the ER 8 times in
the last yeartwice in the last week
unfortunately she had no choice
in the matter
she suffered uncurious doctorssuffered
geneticssuffered baked-in-the-cake as everyone suffers or not then having the enormous fortune of their unsought genetics worming its way avoiding
dark dire puddles by sheer luck
as he enjoyed his genetics she
suffered hers
suffered her cant-do-a-fuckin-thing-about-it
although if she hadnt suffered
her genetics was unborn he never would have known her and despite
such conjecture he was sure if he never knew her somehow he would be
unfulfilled he would have knownfelt her would have found an unfilled blank in his life
he would have missed
her
or mebbe he was a confused contortionist
blowing copious volumes of smoke up his ass
he didnt think so
he didnt think so
he missed her terribly when they
werent together
Fourth Quarter his brother-in-law
regarded relationships as heavy lifts
he told
him there was no there there that the ideation of the fourth quarter was
his brother-in-laws infatuation his analogy
it didnt grate or weigh heavily
on him
he told Fourth Quarter he was
just entering Halftime standing at the watercooler watching the cheerleaders the
pom-pom girls bump an grind on the 50 yardline
his girlfriendhis partner had
been in the ER 8 times in a year
he went to the ER in ‘16
prior to ’16 he went to the ER
in ’73 that was grim for one reason exceeding his leg broken just above the
ankle
he broke it on the hill that Stevie
Ray Vaughan died on in ’90 when his helicopter slammed into it under unfavorable
conditions
ya gotta suppose when you gotta
go ya gotta go
although his gotta go tended towards taking a leak
the PRESS called the Alpine
Valley hill a mountain at the time
a mountain in Wisconsincomon
gotta supposed it made better PRESS
crashing into a mountain than into a little ski hill that he broke his
leg on the first time her ever wore skis
the last mogul got him
he was grateful though if the moguls combined effort hadnt dropped him he
might have slammed into the stone lodge at the foot of the hill
he didnt know how to stop
his yearyounger brother hung with
him until nearly the end of the runside-by-side
his brother went down in a heap although
his laughter at his brothers fall was cut short a nanosecond later simultaneously by a crack and the last mogul
he was positive the crack was his brothers
then cockeyed looking up from his
mad tumbling and slide he saw the contorted bindings on his right foot tremble
slightlyprobably laughing then dropped
free it didnt release when it should have
but whadja expect from rental
gear
he was taken off the last bit of the
hill by Ski Patrol who inside the lodge firmly splinted his leg with an L-shaped
cardboard fixing and tape
they let him borrow crutches
until he left
his buddies and brother wanted to
play some more and he couldnt fault them
he took a stool at the bar put
his leg up on another and set forth to anaesthetise his pain
Ohman
the women his discomfort attracted
the women his discomfort attracted
they BOUGHT him drinks stroked
his neck shoulders arms nuzzled his neck and cheek with their noses wrote their
telephone numbers on his splint kissed him goodbye told him not to forget to
call 9 times 9
separate women
over the course of five hours
when his cohorts checked in on
him he told them to forget himHave a good time
Believe me Im making the best of a bad situation
going home they stopped at a
package-bar to buy him whiskey for the two hours plus between Elkhorn and
Chicago
his pain needed booze
his pain needed booze
it
got looped
he
didnt
their buddies dropped them off around 4 in the morning
his brother helped him upHA the
steep stairs to the landing to the short remaining flight up to the second
storey where they were oblivious to their mother standing at the head of the steps
Ssshush his brother murmured
drunkenly Yadonwanna wake the folks
he saw her I don but Maw is up
Up Ssshush No she aint
Up Ssshush No she aint
Yah she is Shes up
Whaya talkinbout
Up Look up
he looked up Sssheeit Whyaup Maw
Why are you pulling your brother
up the stairs
I lost a bet(he was quick on the drawalways
an excellent liar) an since I couldnt carry him up stairs hes chill
Im pullin him up
Whats on his leg
A cheap splint
Why is he wearing a cardboard splint
Ski Patrol thought he might have
broken his leg
He thought I broke mine Said he heard a crack
He heard a crack Did you hear a crack
I was tumblin I didnt hear anythin but me
So she said looking at him if
your brother only heard himself why do
you think you heard your brother crackparticularly when youve been hearing exclusively
your body cracking over the past five years(his crazed way had broken
double-digit bones)
Magical thinking I suppose I might have figured it was his turn
What did I tell you two before
you left this afternoon
he held his hand up stymieing his
brothers response You werent taking us
to the hospitalan you shouldnt you should go back to bed
No Were going to the hospital
Im tired Ill go later this morning if the pain dont die
No I dont give a damn how tired you are were
going to the hospital now because if I put my hands on you youll definitely
need a hospital
he had nothing to say
he wished his brother goodnight and
slowly slipped down the carpet runner on the steps to the foyer gained his
leg and hopped out the front door on to the porch the stairs to the porch to the car
in the driveway
maybe now the cold embrace of winter air
would diminish his pain
his mother had the nurses aide
throw away the cardboard splint they cut from his leg that he had asked if it
wouldnt be much trouble to please take it to his mom so she could hold
it for him while she waited
Whaddya mean you had the aide
throw it away
I dont mean anything Im
telling you what I told her do
It had numbers on itimportant
numbers Important
I saw the numbers And names
And the addresses
They were important
Maybe important to you Not me
Not me when I had to get out of bed to bring you to the hospital Lets call it a surcharge Sometimes life aint fair
his girlfriend telephoned to tell
him she was in the ER again the 9th time
in a year
the third time in 8 days
1447, Thursday,
14 9. 17
1202, Twosday,
19 9. 17
Stevie Ray Vaughan Tell Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_0u6ZKwWEc
