what panicks one
doesnt necessarily
panick another
its symptoms: breath sticking in ones throat eyes bulging fisheyed trying as part of the bodys
sympathetic nervous system to see sharper and furthur widen their peripheral a ticking up of the hearts tock tick tock ticks the swift flow organs bathed saturated in adrenaline daubed with a broad brush of blue inhaled
opium moist palms scalp armpits backs of knees and feet
an organism cued up by
the virtue of their panick with nowhere to go
inevitably theres someone in your head who intones unsympathetically Come on Nothing here to panic over
while youre pins and needles amped ALL SYSTEMS GO!
inevitably theres someone in your head who intones unsympathetically Come on Nothing here to panic over
while youre pins and needles amped ALL SYSTEMS GO!
you disassociate
you grab that heartless sonofabitch whos so reasonable(to themselves) by their windpipe throw cautions to the wind and squeeze it tight
if it crushes like a paperstraw so be it
thereby impeding forever any
unsympathetic uncompassionate peep or pique
his panick surprised him
he reasoned that afterwards while standing in a hot shower letting ribbons of water sinuously overwhelm him
he wasnt feeling well
rendered by the hard black rubber-souled boots of pain that kicked the ornate whitewashed baseboard scuffed and marred the handsome tiled and linoleum floors
rendered by the hard black rubber-souled boots of pain that kicked the ornate whitewashed baseboard scuffed and marred the handsome tiled and linoleum floors
his pain and panick made for the deep grunts and groans that spasmed in his mouth You whore! You piece of shit! Gawddamn!
he didnt know how he saw it
out of the corner of his eye
a daddylonglegs caught up and desperate in the splash and roil of water coming out the bathtub spigot
it precipitating an existential moment
he was unable to stoop and snatch it to safety with his hand because he was stoved uphis joints ratcheted his pitiful tendons and muscles inflexible
its thin legs were inarticulate on the boil and bubbles
its body the size of an appleseed no more than a few pieces of pinched pilled blackened fabric
then suddenlyso quickly this small
life seemed overwhelmed and conceded capitulated brought it legs in together assumed a mammalian fetal position
of abject submission
of abject submission
he saw but he couldnt snatch the longhandled shower body brush
he finally freed it from where it hung by a hook on the wall from a looped cord and dipped its bristles to the water between the spider and the gurgling drain
he had imagined like Velcro the spiders legs would get caught up on its bristles
he lifted it to safety
carefully he closed the toilet lid and landed the brush on its back
the spider origami beaded with impossibly tiny water beads did not move IN HIS PANICK HE THOUGHT HE KILLED IT but then he assessed No the aerated water not-yet-hot the bubbled surface No
painfully he leaned forward and gently bumped it with the end of his pinkie
the black origami moved slightly
it was alive
it was in a good momenta brief moment of selfanesthetised homeostasis
finally
in the shower his eyes closed their yearning ceased the mydriasis blown pupils abated the hot water redemptive to a point he repeated in his minds eye the daddylonglegs negative panick
Huh made sense to him Now
it was likely he wouldnt have considered any aspect of it unless he had almost killed another earthling
it was likely he wouldnt have considered any aspect of it unless he had almost killed another earthling
0709, Friday,
27 5. 16
