initiative 

               he took his job seriously slathered it with gobs of initiative whichfrankly he saw as common sense

however 

          his superior or so they thought in superficial name only chided his efforts 

when common sense slams headlong into an uncrenelated unfissured fersure brainReally potato chips didnt have ridges until Ruffles toilet paper didnt have Deep Cleaning ripples until Cottonelle

Comon

       Arya fuckin dense he didnt say that  I took the initiative I coudnt wait around on you I had to act

You acted without authority.

I acted we got the account

                             I don see a downside

The downside the downside . . is a demerit against you. That’s what I’m entering into your personnel file, that you acted without my permission, without my guidance, you acted improperly, inappropriately, outside the respected hierarchy our company functions by.

   Itll function fine Ive provided it a long term revenue source it didnt have prior I hope wha you intend to enter will also includedelineate  tha despite repeated outreaches  recorded communications  I took the bull by the horns an acted to secure the company wha I believed in our best interests to  our advantage

                                                                                  If you intend not to Ill go to HR challenging any derogatory or untrue passages 

I  showed  initiative

                       An Im not going to be rebuked for it

she damn near threw the binder she was holding against the wall her hands went whiteknuckled

through nearly clenched teeththrough a grimace she said Then what I believe is our definitions of initiative differ

 

   initiative:  1. the ability to assess and initiate things independently (similar to unimaginative);  2. the power or opportunity to actor take charge before others do; 3. an act or strategy intended to resolve adifficult or impreoive asituation; a fresh approach to something.                

2121,  Monday,  8  5. 23

1404,  Thursday,  11  5. 23

https://www.getbodysmart.com/the-brain/cerebral-cortex-lobes-fissures-gyri-sulci/ 

https://www.facebook.com/cottonelle/videos/try-3-in-1-deep-cleaning-ripple-care/775192217121376/

he clapped his handssaid aloud Spot on 

                                            that to the director the art director of his dreams

he knew he was waking could hear birds but continued hanging around in his old apartment his old haunt forcing their hand lucid dreaming to on the sperm of the dreamedmoment  go one step furthur  

they he did not disappoint him them

he was keeping in the kitchen dining area a tall nearly to the ceiling column aquarium in murky not dirty organic water two gelatinous fish see-through pretty coloured organs

when he came up to the glass often placed his hand on it theyd appear always the same above first then the other below seemed to him a symbiosis a neighbour lived above him 

                                                                   it wasnt accidental the fish came to the glass they were awareknew each other 

the birds voices were becoming louder

   a silent god he indicated he wasnt satisfied he thought the fish were phenomenal

More

he felt the vibration off their collaboration 

                                           angst it agitated the water in the aquarium

they encouraged him to open the top to the tank

Now yare thinking

he did as directed

                   then adlibbing went into the livingroom and sat in his precious leather horsehair overstuffed armchair a small table beside it where he placed books he was reading kept a ceramic coaster he set his liquor glass coffee cup on

Brilliant

the fish emerged floated in the air to him around him nuzzled his cheeks neck relaxed on his shoulder as he read 

they felt like talcum on his skin 

the birds became raucous 

                           but just before he woke he was removed  found himself sitting outdoors in a sun chair a tiny bird alighting on the base of his thumb sipping water from the hollow between two tendons leading to his wrist   

it looked like a feathered fairy shrimp 

Drat

   he woke

b4 7,  Thursday,  11  5. 23

1218, Thursday

he was getting sick an tired of explaining his answer to buddy about how when he wrote something he felt he was taking dictation an often  sometimesmore than often  when he finished a piece put it up let it marinade  returning to it hoursdays later rereading it he had a hard time believing he wrote it 

You’ve said, what do you mean?

Wha Ive said

If you wrote it you wrote it. You’re not, or you haven’t said, hearing voices telling you what to write.

No voices no 

              Rather it feels more like something coming through me  like Im a conduit 

A medium? 

No 

     Possibly  a kind of receptive atmosphere   Certainly not tangible tactile

   I don’t understand.

Yare trying too hard Let go the notions you believenot think  believe  our meat is capable of  Think nano  Expandenlarge our bodies  Then imagine the vast room between atoms that compose us

Theres plenty room there for    whaever

So . . whatever . . . wrote what you wrote.

Sometimes

              Yessometimes I don feel I authored wha my pen put to paper my fingers depressed keys wha I wrote in light on Word   Sometimes

I don’t understand. 

he read a review by Wu about VanderMeers Veniss Underground 

                                                                     texted to buddy “ . . . the boundary between the writer and the words written, between the person and the thing, subject and inanimate object, is not as well-defined as we’d like to believe.”  mebbe thall help you understand my answer

 

   no matter 

                  he was grateful for what he  xpressed

1008,  Thursday,  11  5. 23

https://www.symmetrymagazine.org/article/the-particle-physics-of-you?language_content_entity=und